ACT II: IN THE BEGINNING - Enlightening

Scene IV:  A Glimpse at how bad ideas come to fruition

"Why does anyone lie? Because they're scared or crazy or just mean. There are a million reasons for lying. Sometimes you tell a lie so big it changes your life…" - Where the Heart Is

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm beginning to question the whole soulmates and destiny thing. Maybe not so much question that we all have one, but our capabilities to actually make it work. Laney Jane would be so proud, sure that she's finally worn off on me in a good way, but this fact has me confused as hell about things.

You see, I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. I don't know if it's because my current press tour is filled with questions about my personal life or if it has to do with Laney Jane and her erratic behavior as of late. Either way, it's been on my mind. And when I think about relationships, what amazes me the most is that relationships happen at all. There are so many things that need to occur for two people to get together - are you attracted to one another? do your personalities clash? who controls the television remote? - that it's a wonder we bother with it all. But everyone does. We write songs and novels and movies all about the search for and loss of our one true love. We insist on trying and trying even though there is probably more of a chance of being killed by a piece of a space station falling from the sky than making any relationship go the distance.

I'm starting to sound like my girlfriend…but she is the smart one of the two of us. I've always shrugged this attitude of hers off as cynical, but maybe she's onto something. Maybe it's damn near impossible for two people to make a real connection in today's times.

Don't get me wrong. I still believe that Laney and I can buck those odds. We aren't like everyone else. She's my best friend, the person I depend on most in this world, and I can't imagine my life without her. She is my soulmate, the one girl put on this earth for me to adore, but I'm beginning to realize that nothing is as simple as we hope. Even in the best of circumstances, things are complicated by the outside world and Laney and I are no different.

So I find myself sitting here, staring out at the morning horizon, while I wonder why the hell any of us undertake such a losing situation. The only thing I can come up with is that we all want it. Because when it's right, it's fucking great. I guess it's a matter of somehow finding your way back to that love utopia when things get rough and fighting to stay there.

I almost think I'm there, basking in heaven, when I feel Laney's arms slide over my shoulders and down my chest from behind. Her hair brushes up against my cheek and I can smell her breath. I feel her lips curve into a smile against my skin and she says, "You're up early."

I nod and reply, "Couldn't sleep. Someone was hogging all the pillows again."

"Villainy!" Laney comments, "Who would do such a thing?"

I grab her hand and kiss it before replying, "There must be some sort of pillow monster on the loose."

Laney chuckles and replies, "That's lame, J."

Laney leans over me, picks up the newspaper that I've been pretending to read, and grabs it as she slips into the chair next to me. These are the moments that make it for me. When it's the two of us alone, when we simply sit next to one another and enjoy being together while our problems get left at the front door. I point to the food on the food cart and say, "You should eat something."

She shrugs and continues perusing the paper as she responds, "Not hungry."

"Laney, you barely touched your dinner last night," I reply. I know that I promised her I was going to stop harping on everything, but there are some areas where I'm not willing to negotiate. Her health is one of them. I push a plate of toast over in front of her and say, "Humor me, okay?"

She grumbles under her breath, but picks up a piece of toast. She bites into it and smiles at me in that placating way she has about her. I watch her movements as she chews on her bread and flips through the newspaper. She seems okay now. She seems like herself, the girl who's grown up before my eyes, though I can't help but hold my breath and wait for that scary, closed-off side to come out.

I know. I'm a broken record. I need to stop fixating on Frankie because I got the girl. If she wanted someone like Frankie, she never would've broken up with Spencer. She chose me. She loves me.

I know how crazy I sound, but that's only because I'm freaked out about this. There are times when I look at her and don't recognize the girl I'm with. Is that normal? I've been there before…in the past…when I was trying to force feelings that weren't there. I've never had that problem with Laney Jane before. I've always prided myself on knowing her better than I know myself, understanding her moods, and loving her through it all.

It's been that way since the first day our relationship evolved into this wonderful thing. Well, until recently. It only lasts a moment or two, but I wonder if this is what being with me has done to her. If loving me and dealing with the spotlight has made her wary of being herself, even around me. It's scaring the hell out of me, but what can I do? I can't force her to talk to me, to explain what's going on. I've tried that and it only leads to fighting. I can't ignore it because then it manifests itself in these horrible nightmares. I'm stuck. I can't get the answers I need from her…so what the hell am I supposed to do?

Laney catches my eye and I smile. She reads me immediately. She drops the paper and says, "I'm okay, J. I'm not starving myself."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"I'm just…"

"Worried. I know. I'm sorry about that."

I reach out for her hand and run my fingers across her palm. I say, "I'm not."

She squeezes my hand and says, "Liar."

"I don't enjoy worrying, but I think that goes with the territory of loving someone. And that I definitely don't regret," I say. I notice her glance away from me and I wonder if that's what this is all about. I doubt it. That's not a Laney thing to worry about, but then I remember the other night and how she wanted to know why I loved her. Maybe she's been fishing this whole time for some sort of reassurance from me that while everything around us changes, we won't, and all I do is yell at her…shit.

I stand up and pull her out of her chair. She looks at me curiously and I grin as I throw her over my shoulder. She yelps and pummels me in my back, "Justin, now is not the time for one of your games."

I throw her down on the sofa, plop down next to her, and then grab her again. She protests, "Seriously. It's too early for cutesy Justin to make an appearance."

I pull her onto my lap and roll my eyes, "It's never too early for cutesy Justin, Laney Jane."

"Oh contraire."

"Nope. I think you secretly harbor a great deal of love for cutesy Justin."

"Whatever."

I tighten my grip on her and say, "I'm thinking about staying here all day. You in?"

"Huh?"

"Me and you. No interruptions."

She smiles and says, "Sounds nice, but-"

"No buts. We're gonna do this."

"Right. We'll squeeze it in between your photo sessions and my senior seminar."

"Those things don't matter."

"Ha."

"I'm serious, Laney Jane," I reply. I cup her face between my palms and study her face. I smile and go on, "We've been going about this the wrong way. This ten minutes here, ten minutes there thing isn't working."

Laney pulls back. I can't read her and this only reinforces my belief that she and I need some uninterrupted time alone. Since my hotel room is the only place that such things can occur these days, well, what choice do we have? Laney slides out of my grasp and sits down next to me. She sighs, "What's going on?"

"I miss you."

"I'm right here."

"You know what I mean."

"I'm not sure I do-I thought we were working fine," she pauses as if she's afraid to go on. I fucking hate that pause she takes now with me. It's like she expects me to fly off the handle or something. Am I really that unstable? She studies me appraisingly, but it's not the normal Laney Jane scrutinizing stare of doom, it's this weird inspection as though she expects me to vomit up pea soup. She asks, "Do you think we're not working?"

I shut my eyes. I'm a complete tool. I inch closer to her and say, "It's not us that's not working, Laney Jane. It's all these time constraints and the separations. It was bound to take its toll on us sooner or later."

"I would've preferred later," Laney replies.

I can't help but smile. I tug at a piece of her hair and reply, "Me too, but we've gotta work with what we have."

"And you think a day off will alleviate all our problems?"

"I don't know. Maybe, maybe not, but it would be nice to blow everything off, forget all those nasty responsibilities and spend the day alone. When was the last time we were alone for more than a few hours?"

"Months."

"Months. Exactly," I respond.

"But-"

"Don't say that word."

"Justin…"

"C'mon Laney Jane. We need this."

"We'll have time at Christmas. Wasn't that our deal? Make it to Christmas and we're home free for a few weeks."

I sigh. She's either missing the point or ignoring the point or whatever-ing the point, but I can't. I have a bad feeling and it's been my experience that my gut doesn't lead me astray. I take her hand in mine and say, "I know what we agreed to, but I'm here and so are you. We should make the most of it while we still can."

"We can't. That's what I'm trying to say, J," she responds.

I shake my head and reply, "We can. I've still got a few days before the album comes out. If I'm going to take a day off, I need to do it now. I want to do it now."

"Is this because of the other night?"

I shrug and respond, "Not really."

"Which means yes," Laney replies. She stands up and paces in front of me. I watch her move back and forth, back and forth, without so much as a peep for what feels like hours before she finally says, "You don't have to coddle me, Justin. I'm not going to break."

"That's not what this is."

"Oh?" she responds in that voice that says she doesn't believe a word I say.

"Why do you turn everything into an argument? Since when do I need a fucking reason to want to spend time with you? To want to be alone and enjoy things-watch a movie, eat some pizza…when was the last time we did that stuff, Laney? When was the last time you compared our life to some virtually unheard of movie?"

She rolls her eyes. I'm laying it all on the line, being quite open about how much I miss the way things worked between us, and she's rolling her eyes at me as though what I've said is the most ridiculous thing ever. As though she's the one who needs to coddle me now. But then she smiles-that purely Laney Jane turn of the lips that cuts through me and makes me forget everything-and says, "Well at least I don't go for the romantic comedy blockbuster…usually something starring Julia Roberts."

"Excuse me?"

She clutches her chest and says, in a poor imitation of me I might add, "Oh Laney, our arguments are totally The Mexican in their nature. We love each other and fight all the time like Sam and Jerry…"

"Well, we do fight."

"I prefer banter."

I cross my arms over my chest and try to hide the smile that's forming. I know it's crazy, but I love this sort of fighting-sorry bantering-with Laney Jane. I reply, "I think that The Mexican speaks highly of our relationship."

Again with the rolling of the eyes and she replies, "Proving that we are, as everyone so often points out, dysfunctional?"

I grin smugly. Is it weird to be oddly proud of that? I mean, I've seen some of the relationships my friends have maintained-if what Laney and I have is dysfunctional then we're way ahead of the curve. I shrug and respond, "Whatever works."

"Dysfunction doesn't work, Justin."

"Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts worked."

"She had more charisma with the gay hitman."

"Nuh-uh."

"Clever retort."

"They had plenty of chemistry. When she was throwing his belongings out the window, I could feel her love for him. It poured out of her."

"Yes, that was so evident as she smashed his guitar onto the sidewalk," Laney counters. She studies me carefully and says, "How did we get on this topic?"

I point at her and state, "This is exactly what I miss about us, Laney. We're both so stressed, so caught up in everything else, that we're forgetting who we are."

"And we're movie-obsessed people with the lamest of lives," she replies dryly.

"That's not what I was going for," I pause and reach for her hand. She doesn't pull away so I take that as a good sign, a way for me to explain why us playing hooky is so damn important to me. I reply, "If the Mexican was real and we were playing Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt's characters, we'd be rehearsing those scenes in the middle where they're mad at each other and chaos abounds and something needs to be done. It's like we need to fast forward to the parts where the two of them decide to work together because when they tried to go it themselves…well, did it go very well? No. Do you follow?"

"Sadly, I sort of do."

I rub my thumb over the top of her hand and say, "What we need to do is get to the airport scene. The part where Samantha gets on the plane and Jerry thinks he's watching her go, but she actually sneaks off the plane-"

"Yeah, and it made no sense because the camera was focused on the doors the whole time. How did she get off that plane? Did she blink herself there? Does her love for Jerry make her magical?"

"Laney Jane, you're missing the whole idea of it."

"That it was stupid and you're more of a girl than I originally thought?"

"Smartass…" I let go of her hand and cross my arms over my chest. I'm trying to appear bold, but Laney doesn't seem impressed. So I shrug and say, "They loved each other and they both realized that was the most important thing. Nothing else mattered but the two of them and because of that they could get through everything…together. They needed each other. Going it alone only caused lots of shootings and people to be thrown out of windows."

Laney sighs and says, "It's a nice story, Justin, but rarely does a romantic comedy mirror real life. In real life, Sam would've had to get back on that plane because she had a job and responsibilities aside from Jerry."

"Sometimes a person needs to blow off their responsibilities-"

"And we're back to this," Laney replies with a harsh edge to her voice. She glances around the room and asks, "What do you want from me, Justin? Is the only way I can prove that I'm okay and that I'm not running off to be with Frankie by throwing away my future? If so, make that clear. Stop with this passive aggressive bullshit."

I stare at her. I'm not sure what to say. There are a lot of things I want to say in that moment, most of it in anger, but I'm trying to wrap my brain around it all. Which part do I start with-the idea of her running off with Frankie or that she thinks I want her to throw her future away? I groan. I don't know what else to do anymore. It's like everything leads us back to this point of no return. I don't know what she wants from me. I don't know how I'm supposed to react to Stepford Laney or manic Laney or whichever Laney makes an appearance half the time anymore. I don't know how to get through to her that she is the most important thing in the world to me and I would do anything for her. Basically, I don't know anything anymore and it's starting to wear me out. I throw my hands up in surrender and say, "Nevermind Laney. Forget it. Forget everything."

"Justin."

"I'm so sick of this…whatever…between us," I snap. I keep reminding myself to breath. To stay calm. That I want to say calm and not make things worse than they already are because I know something is wrong with Laney Jane and if I push her too hard…it'll be bad. My gut knows this, my brain knows this, but I can't stop myself. Because I'm angry and scared of losing her and I have never been so unsure of how to fix things before. I'm the Go to Guy, the person who can figure messes out, especially where Laney Jane is concerned. I know her. I usually know what to say, how to react, even which movies are okay for discussion depending on each of her moods.

That appears to have been before this mysterious malaise infected her and I can't really figure out exactly when before ended and this chasm between us became evident. I'm the fixer, but I can't fix us. I cover my face with my hands and say, "If you think that all I want from you is for you to become the type of pea-pod girlfriend who bows to my every whim and has no life of her own, then you don't know me at all."

"That's not what I meant."

"I don't care," I state. I brush past her and head for the bedroom. I don't want to fight with her anymore and if I stay here with her that's all we're going to do. I force my legs to move and order myself not to stop. Do…not…stop. Again, I can't help myself. I'm a glutton for punishment sometimes. I fold my arms and glare at her as I rant, "I'll stop trying to get us back on track. I'll let us flail around like a dying fish."

"We're not flailing around."

"Like hell we're not, Laney Jane," I reply. I motion to the space between us and say, "Something is going to give soon. I can feel it and I'll do whatever I have to do to keep that from being us. I'm not willing to sacrifice what we have."

She rubs the bridge of her nose. Sickeningly enough, it's a relief to witness because that is my Laney Jane, the girl who gets so fed up with me at times that she has to resist the urge to kill me, the girl who spends ninety percent of our relationship annoyed with me, but for some reason always sticks around and puts up with it. She sighs. I can see her mind turning as she replies, "I don't want you to sacrifice us either, Justin, but I won't let you sacrifice your career. You've worked too hard for it. I know what it means to you."

"I'm not having this fight again. You know where I stand on that issue."

"I'm not-" she pauses, her arms flapping at her side like the drooping wings of a dying bird. She curses under her breath and says, "You have obligations, Justin. That's why you're here in New York or did you forget that your album comes out soon? You're stressed enough as it is. Should you really be blowing off previous engagements?"

"You're right, Laney Jane. I am stressed. I'm on the brink of insanity-wondering what people will think of the album, if people will like me all over again, if you and I are going to make it through this…this thing we're stuck in right now." I step closer to her, forcing her to look at me, and say, "I want one day where I don't have to worry about everything and the only time I feel right is when you're around. Is that too much to ask for?"

She's relenting. I can see it in her eyes as she closes the distance between us. She studies me for a moment and smiles sympathetically before replying, "It's not too much to ask for."

I grin and reply, "Good."

I move in for a kiss, but it seems I've gotten ahead of myself because Laney moves back and goes on, "But one of the sucky things about being an adult is that you don't always get what you want. Even if you can get out of your mess of meetings for the day, I have responsibilities of my own."

"It can wait a day."

She shakes her head and says, "People are counting on me. On us."

"Fuck 'em, Laney. All that matters right now is you and me. I leave for Paris tomorrow for a few days and then it's time for the album launch. It's now or never-I want a day that's all about you and me, a day where my only concern is whether or not you'll try to force me to watch Say Anything for the millionth time. "

"It would be nice, J. I'm not denying it. And I know how crazy things are about to get for you-and to have some time to spend with you would be-"

"So let's do it."

"It's not that simple."

"Don't you think we deserve some time alone? Don't you think we need it?" I counter.

"Not as much as you do," she says, crossing her arms and taking on that stance I've come to hate over the past few months. It's the one that forces me out and keeps me from getting to the bottom of whatever the hell it is that's making her so weird. I can't help but wonder if its name is Frankie. I know I promised I wouldn't be the jealous boyfriend, feel threatened or any of that other crap, but it's all I can think of as I meet Laney's glares with ones of my own.

"You're full of shit, Laney Jane."

"What do you want me to say, Justin? Do you want me to harp on every small thing that's different between us? If it seems like I'm not making a big deal out of it, it's because I don't think it has to be. The important things haven't changed-how I feel about you and vice versa. The other stuff, well, that was bound to happen. We're both getting older and changing and…it's called growing up. You should try it."

I force a harsh laugh, more to keep from crying because even I have my limits for how girly I'm willing to appear in any given moment of time. I shake my head and say, "My God, it's like you actual believe this crap you're spewing."

She looks upward as if to say "Why me, Lord?" and shakes her head before moving completely away from me. She reaches for her bag and says, "You know what? I'm sorry if the fact that school is important to me bothers you-"

"That's not what I said-"

She glances at me as she gathers her clothes and stuffs them into her bag. She points her finger at me and says, "Because you knew this when we got involved, you knew what I wanted for myself. I never lied or pretended that my own career, cultivating my own life separate from yours, wasn't important to me, Justin. I can't help it if your career is already established and I'm just about to get started, but that's the way it is."

"Laney Jane…"

"I know you're stressed and need someone to be there for you right now and I'm trying…but there is so much…" she pauses and I see the tears in her eyes. Fuck, this is bad. This is worse than bad. I reach out for her, but she pulls away and shakes her head, pushing the tears back. God forbid she be vulnerable for even a few seconds. She continues, "I can't make my life all about you, Justin. I can't do it. I'm already…I need to go to school so if you want to break up and see someone more like Britney or-"

I roll my eyes and inch closer to her. I'm afraid to get too close because in this sort of tizzy, she is likely to take out one of my eyes. I take a deep breath. I don't want her to run off like this. I hate her being mad at me and I hate that she thinks I would even consider breaking up with her. I tentatively reach out for her hand again. When it doesn't look like she's going to punch me, I pull her toward me and say, "I don't want Britney, Laney Jane. I thought you knew that."

She shuts her eyes and answers, "I do, but maybe she's the right girl for you."

"You're the right girl for me. Britney's not what I want. She and I tried, but I was in love with you. I still am. You're the one I want to spend my life with."

"But it's not working out the way you expected so maybe it's not what you really want--"

"It's not like that. I don't want your life to revolve around mine. I want you to have your own career that you love as much as I love mine," I pause when I catch her wincing. I chuck her chin and add, "I knew it would be hard, but I guess I didn't expect it to take this sort of toll on the both of us. I figured you would tell me what's going on. I might not understand all of it, but I want to know. I want to be there for you and support you the way you do for me, if you'd let me."

"You've got to let me do this my way, J. I've always let you lead in the past because it was your future on the line. Your career. But now with school nearly over - you need to get off my back and let me figure this out. It's not that I don't love you, because I do. You know that. You knew that before I did," she pauses and traces her fingers over my forearm. I find myself distracted by her touch, resisting the urge to scoop her up in my arms and throw her down on the bed, but the tone of her voice pulls me back in. She shakes her head and says, "And if you can't do that. If that's not what you need, then maybe…maybe we need to rethink things."

"I don't want to rethink things, Melanie Jane."

"Then stop dwelling on how off we are."

"Even-"

"Justin…"

I get this weird feeling that I'm being served up an ultimatum and that scares me more than even her most erratic behavior the past month or so. That's not a Laney response to anything. She's the logical one of the two of us. She's the one I count on to reel me back in when my anger gets the best of me. Now, now it's like…it's like she wants to get rid of me.

She steps away from me again and grabs her clothes. She looks at me for a minute and says, "I need to change for class."

She walks off to the bathroom without another word and I stand there dumbfounded for awhile. The only clear thought in my head is: what the hell is going on with her? And I'm overwhelmed with the gnawing suspicion that the one person who can provide me with the answers I need is the one person I hate more than anything.

I remember what I overheard in the library and how Frankie seemed to know more about my girlfriend than I did. He seemed to know exactly why Laney was behaving so strangely and he was waiting in anticipation for the chance to share it with the world.

"Does he know what you've sacrificed to be with him…"

Sacrifices. I knew there were certain things Laney gave up to date me. We couldn't go to a concert like a normal couple or do those normal date things without a few bodyguards around. Hell, if she wanted to go to a bookstore, she either had to go alone or we had to call ahead. Spontaneity was a hard thing to come by and Laney lost some of that privacy she loved. But those were small sacrifices in the large scheme of things, right? Or was that a selfish way to look at things - too busy or too stupid to notice the way it had changed the one person I never wanted this business to touch.

I reached for my phone and scrolled through the electronic phone book until I found Steph's number. I dialed it and when she answered I said, "Steph, you gotta help me out." I glanced at the bathroom. The door was still shut, but I made my way out onto the balcony. I wanted to avoid another fight with Laney Jane and this would definitely be a fight instigator.

I stop though. It's freezing and I can't afford to get sick. I settle for the main room of the suite and plop down on the sofa.

"Why do I live in fear of those words? What did you do? Did you write Laney another poem? I told you. I can't be held responsible when you decide to embrace your retarded Jack Kerouac."

I frown as I pull a pair of jeans out of one of my suitcases and respond, "It's not-" I gulp. Lying to Steph is almost as scary as lying to Laney. It's like she has radar for it. I try to keep my voice even, but the words come rushing out, "I'm supposed to pick Laney Jane up from a study group thing at Frankie's…do you know his number? I lost directions and stuff. She'll kill me if I'm late and do you really want my death on your hands? Knowing you could've prevented-"

"Enough. I get it," she replied. I heard her rummaging through papers and she asked, "What makes you think I know his number?"

"I thought you knew everything."

"Why does Laney put up with you?" she replies. She pauses and I'm almost convinced that she's hung up on me or put the phone down and walked away, but then she says, "I don't have a number, but I have the address. I don't know why I have it-oh, I remember. I met Laney there once when I was in town."

"You met her at Frankie's?"

"Yeah, once."

"Like she wanted you to meet him? On purpose?"

"Well, she wanted her best friend to know the man she planned to marry," she comments. When a small guttural moan escapes from my mouth, she lets out a loud tsk, tsk sound before going on, "You need therapy for that green-eyed monster living inside of you, Justin Timberlake."

"It's seems weird, is all."

"Again, something to work out with your therapist, not me. And definitely not this early in the morning."

"It's after ten am."

"I'm in college. I don't do mornings. Now do you want the address or will it send you into a jealous rage?"

I roll my eyes and scribble down the address. I have no idea what I'm doing and I have a feeling Laney's going to kill me when she finds out. But Frankie and I need to clear the air, establish a few ground rules and, if while I'm there, he provides me with some information on whatever is making Laney so sad all the time…well, all the better, right? Even in the worst case scenario, there is the small chance that I'll get to punch Frankie in the face and that makes it all worth it to me.

I make my way back through the penthouse suite and rest my hand on the bathroom door. I can hear her in there, but I don't have the energy to go another round. So I leave her alone, get dressed, and leave a note for her. Not the ideal goodbye, but it will have to do.

I know that love has done this to us. Not just me and Laney, but everyone. It makes us crazy and causes us to do stupid things, but it's for a good cause. A good relationship is so hard to come by these days, so many things have to fall into place, that it doesn't make sense to give up on it when there's that click between a couple. It's what we're all striving for and I've already found that with Laney Jane. She is worth fighting for. She is worth putting aside my pride and getting to the bottom of things, even if it means talking to Frankie.

**

The building is shabby at first glance. Like it was transplanted from World War II era England and placed in Manhattan by chance. There are holes along the walls and the foundation appears cracked by the front stairs. It seems an odd place for a guy like Frankie to live.

Todd looks up and asks, "Are you sure this is the right place?"

I glance back down at my chicken scratch and shrug, "According to Steph." I turn to face Todd and say, "You can wait out here. This is between me and the jerk."

"Might help if you don't refer to him that way. Makes you seem a bit…jealous."

"Why does everyone keep accusing me of being jealous of this loser?"

Todd makes a face like he's thinking on it and offers, "Could it be because you are?"

"Shut up, Toddy."

"You don't have long. You've got to be across town in an hour, Justin. And you've got to be presentable. So no fighting."

"I'm a lover, not a fighter, Toddy."

Todd rolls his eyes and I wave him off. I study the list of names on the buzzer and see his name at the very bottom. I punch it. No response at first and I can't help but wonder if Frankie is off with Laney somewhere under the pretense of working, but continuing to make his attempts to get in her pants. I try to push those thoughts from my mind, reminding myself that it's not conducive to getting the information I need. I hit the button again and Frankie's voice is muffled with static, "This better be important."

"Is this Frank McCauley?"

"I'm not interested in joining your cult," he replies and the buzzer switches off.

I curse under my breath and punch the button again.

"What?"

"It's Justin. Laney's boyfriend. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Is this a joke?"

"Do I sound like I'm kidding around?"

He doesn't say anything else and I wonder if he's cut me off again, but then the door buzzes open. I glance back at Todd. I hope to see encouragement or something etched on his face, something that reassures me that I'm doing the right thing here and that Laney Jane will not disembowel me with a splintery spoon when she finds out. Todd's too busy perusing the New York Times. So much for support.

I enter the building and the lobby is hot and dark. There is a single light flickering in the distance and no windows anywhere in sight. The walls are cracked and the stairs creak like they're going to collapse under my weight with each step. I can't help but think I've entered some sort of hell.

Frankie's standing in the narrow hallway when I reach the top of the stairs. I notice that even in the privacy of his own home, he still maintains the image of the punk, rebel sort of guy. The guy who can wax philosophical and charm girls with how brilliant he is. I would almost admire it if he wasn't currently focusing his attention on Laney Jane.

"I thought for sure I was dreaming. Couldn't imagine a reason Justin Timberlake would go slumming and show up at my doorstep."

I roll my eyes and remind myself that I'm not going to let him get to me. At least not until I get some answers. Then he can get to me and I can throw him out his boarded up window. I close the distance between us and say, "Well, you seem to be the guy with all the answers. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"To have an egotistical popstar show up at my apartment on what had the makings of a good day? Don't you have little girls to whip into a frenzy somewhere? Maybe stick another nail in the coffin that was Laney's possible career?"

"Is it possible for the two of us to have a grown up conversation for a few minutes? Or are you too…whatever it is that you are…to do that?" I ask, trying to ignore the smug expression on his face. Yeah, he knows something and it's not good news. I momentarily think of spinning on my heels and running out the doors, pretending this never happened, but I motion through his front door and say, "Well, Frank?"

He leans back and runs his fingers through his hair, taming it down a bit and scratching his forehead. He stares at me for a minute before motioning for me to enter. He says, "If you think you can handle it, I'm more than willing to dispel some of those romantic inclinations of yours, Timberlake."

I roll my eyes. Is this really what he considers to be tough guy talk? Is this what most guys my age consider aggressive? I've been poked, pushed, and grabbed by more than one person in my career - and you don't know scary until you find yourself trapped in a crowd of overzealous girls all trying to get a piece of you. I take in the looks of his apartment. It's pretty empty. There is an old sofa with stuffing peaking out of holes in the upholstery and stacks of books loitering the floor.

Frankie yawns and passes by me. In one quick motion, he lights a cigarette, falls back onto his couch, and looks up at me with an unreadable glare. He shrugs, "So how can I help you?"

"Laney Jane."

"What about Laney?"

"Whatever it is you know." I move closer, folding my arms to protect myself from whatever crap is about to come out of Frankie's mouth. I expect a nasty response and I guess that's why Frankie taps the end of his cigarette and shrugs, prompting me to go on, "She's…weird lately. You claim to be her friend. You've had to have noticed it."

"I am her friend. As her friend, I made her some promises and that's why I'm not sure what you expect me to say here." Promises? The two of them have promises with one another? What the hell is going on that Laney doesn't want me to know about?

This is not how I imagined this conversation going. I fumble for something that won't make it sound quite so obvious that I want to kill him. I say, "You might not like me, and believe me when I say the feeling is mutual, but if you care about Laney…"

Frankie stands up and laughs harshly. He responds, "If I care about Laney? You're a real piece of work, Timberlake. You guilted her into spending the summer before her senior year - the summer she should've spent networking and employed by some upcoming political superstar - with you because you needed someone to hold your hand while you were in the scary world of album making.  You constantly show up and distract her from accomplishing anything in regards to a possible career of her own…and you're questioning my feelings for her?"

"I didn't guilt her into anything."

"Did you know she applied for a grant study in DC for last summer?" he pauses and off the blank look on my face continues, "She got it too, but turned down the job because of your decision to relocate to LA."

"She wouldn't-"

"She lost her original internship for the fall because of it too. They called her flakey. Laney, flakey? Ha!" Frankie glares at me and goes on, "Or how about the other internship for the fall she had lined up as a back-up? That fell through when word got out that she attracted more cameras than the politico she would've been hired to aid. And we can't overlook the big fallout she had with our advisor. She's destroying her own future for you and you're trying to convince me that you want Laney to have her own life? You're full of shit, Timberlake. You had to see these things happening. You had to notice all the things she's given up for you. No wonder she's been a little 'weird' lately. I'd be acting crazy too if I knew that in order to keep my boyfriend happy, I had to stop existing."

"That's not-" I stumble for words. I need to sit down. I need to throw something, preferably at Frankie, but even more than that, I need to hear more. I'm a masochist. I cover my head with my hands and look up at Frankie. Our places have reversed and he hovers over me with a twisted smile, as if he's enjoying my confusion. I take a deep breath and say, "Laney has her own life. I've never interfered with that."

Frankie laughs again and says, "You're fucking clueless, aren't you?"

I grit my teeth and reply, "What?"

"All this time…I thought you were doing this to her. I assumed you treated Laney like your little Barbie Doll, but you don't even know what you're putting her through, do you? I'd almost feel bad for you, if ya know, you weren't fucking up her life beyond repair."

"I'm not-I love her and you're hardly an impartial voice of reason here. I see how you look at Laney Jane," I croak out. I doubt I sound convincing. I don't feel very convincing at the moment. Words - Frankie's words - are spinning around and around in my head and I can't get a grip on any of it. Why would Laney do this? Why wouldn't she tell me? Did she really think I would let her keep making all these sacrifices for me?

Fuck. Maybe Frankie's right. Maybe I've known deep down that something wasn't right with school and everything else. I mean, I knew something was off, but I had no idea…how could I have not seen this? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Frankie shrugs and takes another long drawl from his cigarette and blows the smoke out above his head. He responds, "Are you asking me if I have a crush on your girlfriend, Timberlake?"

"It's more than a crush and we both know it."

Frankie sighs and meets my gaze. He nods. His face is neutral, almost indifferent to the fact that he's in love with my girlfriend. He replies, "She's my equal. She's someone I can look into the future and see on my arm. She and I can help each other succeed. She and I…we're the same."

"You don't know anything about her," I snap.

"Apparently I know more than you do," he counters in an almost teasing voice. Frankie picks up his watch before glancing back at me. He stares at me like I'm a bug he has to squash. His eyes narrow on mine and he replies, "I've got class in twenty minutes, so if that's all-"

"Why not spill it, Frankie? We both know you want to."

Frankie sighs like he's bored with this conversation and replies, "Very well." He sits down on the trunk that passes for a coffee table and continues, "As of right now, Stanton has no chance in hell of getting a decent job in our field after graduation, so if she seems on edge, it's probably because she's realized how screwed she is."

"She's at the top of her class-"

"That's not all that matters. My god, how have you succeeded? You know as well as I do that you need more than brains to make it in the professional world. Laney is hardly the master schmoozer and now she doesn't even have the experience from an internship to fall back on. None. Because she spent her summers with her boyfriend. And there's the other part…her life as Justin Timberlake's girlfriend. That's what she's known as. No one takes her seriously and no one wants that type of scrutiny on them. For Chrissakes, people follow Laney around because of you."

"I know, but that shouldn't-"

"You and Stanton. The two of you with your 'it shouldn't be that way' belief systems. It doesn't matter if it shouldn't be. It is. She's screwed and the only thing that would ever save her career is getting away from you."

"What?"

"She knows it. We've talked about it."

"She's told you she wants to break up with me?" I stand up and roll my eyes. I point at him and say, "Nice try, but I'm not completely unfamiliar with how Laney Jane's mind works. I've known her for a long time-"

"And you use that, don't you? You don't want her to succeed because you need her, you depend on her and if she has her own life, you might play second fiddle-"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" I reply. I tell myself the same thing. He doesn't know anything. He's making shit up to get under my skin and it's working. I don't use Laney Jane. I don't keep her from her own career. I wouldn't do that…would I?

"No? Then why are you here, Justin?" he asks. He motions around the room for emphasis and says, "I didn't seek you out. You came to me. Don't blame me because you don't like how the truth sounds."

"I'll talk to her professors. Make them-"

Frankie scoffed, "You can't fight her battles for her. Are you really this stupid? Laney swears there is a brain in your head, so why don't you use it? You really want to help, Laney? You want her to have the life and the career that she's planned for, then there is only one thing for you to do."

"And what's that?"

"Get out of her life."

"Yeah right. Not going to happen," I say. I move closer to him as though I'm about to beat the crap out of him and say, "As much as you would love an opening to get near my girlfriend, I have no plans to give her up. I love her." I start to move toward the door and call out, "Thanks for the information. You can back off Laney now."

"Excuse me?"

I force a neutral gaze, more to keep myself from doing something Laney won't forgive me for, and reply, "Like I said earlier. I've known Laney a long time. I know her better than you do and I know that all the crap you're spewing is probably messing her up even more. So, I'll take over from here. No need to bother yourself any longer." I put my hand on the door to leave, shooting him a much more confident smile than I'm feeling at the moment. Inside, my head is reeling over this news and what the hell I'm going to do to fix this for Laney. I made promises when we got together and one was that my career would not destroy her.

It appears I'm failing at keeping that promise and that's going to change.

"It's all about you, isn't it? Always has been. That must be why Laney didn't tell you. Because she must've known that you couldn't be bothered with the truth. That her wants and needs don't really matter to you," Frankie responds.

My fingers curl into a fist and I hit myself in the leg to keep from punching the wall. I turn around at that and meet Frankie's expression. I reply, "Laney might not have told me, but-"

"It's because she knows that she's the one who has to make all the sacrifices in your relationship. Probably always has the entire span of your relationship, including when you were younger, and so you simply expect it now. So what if it means her life has no meaning? So what if it means that she can't do the one thing she loves because you need her and that's all that matters," Frankie replies. He shakes his head and says, "I thought you loved her, Timberlake. Isn't that what this romantic gesture was all about? Coming to my place and getting the truth?"

"I do love her."

"Then why don't you prove it?"

"I don't have to prove myself to you."

"Why not prove it to Laney? Why not make the sacrifice for once? Why not let her have a chance at her own career? God knows she's supported you through yours for long enough."

I shut my eyes against the truth in his words. Am I being selfish here? Am I refusing to be honest about things because it means that I would have to give up Laney Jane? Because she's been miserable and moody and so shut off from life lately…and if that's my doing, how can I claim to care about her? Don't I owe it to her to fix this? If I love her so much and can put an end to all this misery, shouldn't I do it?

But it's not…it's not an option for me. I don't know what I would do without her.

Fuck, Frankie is right. It is all about me, isn't it?

I sigh and say, "What would you have me do, Frankie? You have all the answers."

"Break things off."

"No."

He shrugs, "You asked for answers. If you can't do it, well, that's not my problem."

"No, not your problem. The answer to your prayers," I counter. I shake my head and reply, "It would be your big chance, wouldn't it?"

"Excuse me?"

"If I'm out of the picture, Laney is all yours for the taking. A bit too convenient for my liking."

Frankie smiles and says, "I'm already going to get Laney, Timberlake."

I roll my eyes at this. Even in all my jealousy, I know Laney Jane well enough to know that he's not going to get anywhere with my girlfriend. "You're delusional. You know that?"

Frankie replies, "Hardly. Take my advice or don't. Laney Jane is going to come to her senses one of these days and I'll be right there for her."

"You're not Laney's type," I say curtly. Of course, he fits her type much more than I ever have. He's much more like Spencer (well, meaner, more manipulative, and not as easy to get rid of) in that overly-educated-can-have-a-real-life sort of way that she always wanted.

Frankie must know I'm bluffing. He folds his arms and replies, "It must've already started or you wouldn't be here and, honestly, it'll actually work better for me if you stick around. Her life will continue to spiral out of control until it's practically ruined and she'll start to resent you, maybe see you for the blight on society that most of us already do, and she'll run from you as fast as she can."

"Laney wouldn't-"

"I bet you didn't think Laney would keep this sort of thing from you either, but she did," Frankie replies. He puts his cigarette out and starts stuffing items into a messenger bag before throwing it over his shoulders. He moves toward me and stops right in front of me. We're chest-to-chest like those old fashioned westerns where the two men are about to duel for the girl. Frankie asks, "Could it be because she knew she would have to admit what her future requires?"

"And what's that?"

"Not you," he says the words slowly and pokes his finger into my chest.

I swat his hand away and force myself not to flinch under the veracity with which he speaks. I say, "You're a broken record."

"We both know it's true. You're supposedly a smart guy, Justin. At least where business is concerned. You wouldn't have made it this far otherwise. You know that talent and smarts only take you so far. You know better than anyone that it's all about perception." Frankie patted my shoulder and said, "I need to get to class, so if we're done…"

"I'll fix this," I said. I glance at Frankie's smug grin and repeat, "I'll fix this without losing her."

"Whatever."

"This conversation never happened."

"For two people who share everything, I sure hear that sentence a lot."

I wince. I hate showing weakness in front of him, but I'm pretty sure the image of me as Mr. Tough Guy was blown the minute I found out the truth. All these things Laney has been keeping from me and I can't understand why-unless Frankie is right, unless I'm to blame and she's trying to protect my feelings. Fucking Laney. Why wouldn't she tell me this stuff? Why wouldn't she let me help her come up with a plan? Because there has to be something that I can do that doesn't involve ripping my heart out of my chest. There has to be a way to give her back the life she's always wanted while remaining in it.

Right?

I step past Frankie, reminding myself that I can't kill him, and hurry down the stairs. I try to wrap my head around all this information, and I can't help but think that it's probably a good thing that I leave town tomorrow morning for a few days. Being around Laney and knowing the stuff that I do without blurting it out would be damn near impossible. As it is, if we had left things a little better earlier, I probably would blow off our plans for the evening. If I do that now, I look like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

Which maybe I am, I dunno, but for totally different reasons that she would assume.

I hop into the car without so much as a word and thankfully Toddy doesn't bother trying to make conversation with me. He can read me well enough by now to know when I need some space to clear my head and right now I need time to think up a plan. I need time to figure this stuff out and fix it for Laney. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Fix these things…but how?

Why not make the sacrifice for once?

I try to block out Frankie's brilliant idea, but it keeps coming back to that. Maybe I am the one who needs to make the sacrifice for once…but I'm not sure I have it in me.

**

(A few days later - morning of doomsday)

Those people who say things like knowing the truth can set you free or whatever have no idea what it's like to carry around a load of crap on your shoulders while trying to stay upbeat and promote your album. I'm beginning to think living in the dark and remaining clueless to the reasons for Laney's mood swings was a good thing. At least then I wasn't panicked about every single thing I said to her. At least then I didn't spend what little free time I had attempting to come up with some sort of plan. At least then I didn't feel like a burden.

And she's so onto me. Every time we talk on the phone, there is a suspicious tone to her voice and I can practically hear her mentally interrogating me as to what the hell I'm up to. She lets it slip that she thinks I'm acting weird (if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black) and wonders aloud if she should be worried. So far I've been able to placate her with the "it's nerves" bit, but I know that all of that will change and she'll see right through me once I see her.

Then I'll have to explain things.

Like that I talked to Frankie and I know what she's been giving up to be with me and that it has to stop except I can't do that. Laney Jane is too fucking stubborn for her own good (obviously the reason she hasn't said anything to me-not because she blames me or anything…) and she'll get pissed off, refuse to hear me out, and do something really stupid.

So what options does that leave me with? I've racked my brain. I've discussed what my next move should be with Chris (to which he always replied, "Dear God, leave the thinking to someone else.") and so far I've got nothing. Well, nothing if I overlook Frankie's advice.

It's getting harder to do that though. I don't want to lose Laney Jane. I'm not sure I can survive that. It was hard enough the first time around, declaring my love for her and being told she cared about me as a friend. Now that I have her…well, not to sound like a harlequin-romance character, but I'm not sure I can give her up. She's the best thing to ever happen to me.

Why is love so damn complicated? Or should I say, why is the world so damn complicated? The love part is easy. It's all these outside forces that are the problem. Outside forces that make it hard for Laney to follow the career she wants because of mine. Outside forces that would use this information to get between us.

I'm beginning to think I'm going to have to let that happen too, allow something to get between us so that she'll dump me. I've been over and over and over it. As much as I don't want to do it, maybe it's my turn to make the sacrifice. Maybe I have to give Laney up for a little while so that she can do this great thing for herself. I could do it if I had to. I'd hate every minute of it, but I think I could pull it off.

But I'm not the completely selfless sort and I love Laney Jane too much to simply step aside so that Frankie can have his shot with her.

I tap on the glass of the limousine and say, "I want to stop and pick up some flowers and then head over to Laney's campus."

"NYU is a big campus, J. Maybe you should-"

"I already got the location of her class from her roommate."

"Justin, I know you're the resident Laney expert, but doesn't she usually attempt to dissuade you from public displays of affection?"

I shrug and reply, "I know what I'm doing." It's a lie. I'm guessing my way through of all of this. Every move I make-dropping off the teddy bear I picked up in France and now the flowers and romantic spontaneity at her school-are supposed to let her know how much I love her and that she can tell me anything, that together we can probably get through it. She just has to trust me.

That's about all I've got in my arsenal. If this doesn't work, well, what the hell do I do?

I plan out what I'm going to say, ignoring Todd's "you're going to get killed whether it be by your fans or your girlfriend" looks, and try to ignore the dread forming in my stomach. I have a bad feeling about all of this, but it's like I can't stop myself. I have to do this. I have to see Laney Jane and try to get her to tell me what the fuck is going on…otherwise we're screwed.

I know that like I know my name.

Todd pulls me out of my thoughts with a knock on the glass and states, "We're here."

"Great," I say, picking up the lilies and sliding toward the door.

Todd holds up his hand to stop me and says, "You can't go in there alone, J."

"But-"

"That's suicide. We both know it."

"I can take care of myself."

"What about Laney? They'll trample her to get to you," he says. He always knows how to get me to do what he wants. Throw the Laney card out there. Hell, I'm beginning to think everyone (including that jackass, Frankie) knows that if you mention the words "Laney" and "possible danger" together in a sentence, I'll pretty much do whatever you want me to do.

I sigh. "Fine."

Todd nods and comes around to open my door. He places his hands on my shoulders and asks, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

It's as though he can read my mind and knows how much everything depends on this one moment. I shrug and reply, "I'm hoping Laney will simply be so damn thrilled to see me that she'll forget how much she hates public displays."

"Good luck, kid. That girl has a mean left hook."

I rub my jaw out of memory and reply, "Don't I know it."

We walk down the long corridor of a building. Small groups of people litter the hallway - some lost in discussions, some staring at me disbelievingly, and some looking as though they're about to face their doom - and I force my eyes to stay focused on the goal. I glance at my watch. Laney Jane's class should be ending any minute now. My timing is perfect.

This has to work.

I almost manage to convince myself that it will work when I peer my head around the corner of the classroom and I see her familiar shape. She's talking with her professor and her hair has spilled over in her face. She looks beautiful.

Before I get a chance to knock, someone shouts my name. I hear Todd groan, but I refuse to let him pull me aside. But the damage is already done. Not only are random students hurrying toward me and Todd, but the heads of Laney, her professor, and Frankie whip around and focus on me.

The professor points at me and says, "Is this a friend of yours, Ms. Stanton?"

Laney nods and offers her professor a conciliatory smile before focusing her eyes on me. I get the look of promised death. I notice Frankie roll his eyes and mouth, "Way to go" at me.

Yeah, it's now or never.

I step closer to her. I pretend not to notice the frown etched on her face or the way she's crossed her arms. I'm not going to acknowledge the fact that she's pissed and most likely questioning my sanity. I lift my hand in a wave and offer the flowers to her. "Hi honey."

"Honey?"

I lean into to kiss her on the lips, but end up getting her cheek when she turns her head. Yeah, she's pissed alright. I sigh and say, "I missed you while I was gone and wanted to stop by-"

"I thought I was going to meet up with you later?"

"Well, I couldn't wait to see you. I missed you and I had to see you. I got lilies. Your favorite."

She takes the flowers from me and motions to the corner of the room. I notice the smirk on Frankie's face and remind myself that all of this is to keep him from getting anywhere near her. I wrap my arm around her and walk with her to the corner of the room. I touch her face - god I've missed her, that much is true - and say, "I hope you don't-"

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I told you-"

"No, this is-what is going on?"

"I wanted to see you."

"At school? In the middle of my classroom?"

I glance around the room. It's practically empty except for her professor, Frankie, and Todd, who is blocking the door off from overzealous students. I reply, "I waited until your class was over-"

"Why would you-Justin, are you feeling okay? Did you catch temporary amnesia while you were overseas? I mean, it's the only plausible reason I can come up with that would explain why you showed up at my school like this."

"Because it's so terrible for a guy to want to see his girlfriend?" I reply. I try to fight back the anger, but it seeps out of my voice. I hate it. I'm not even angry at Laney really, more at this whole situation. I'm angry because I'm beginning to realize that nothing is going to get through to her. She's not going to let me in and where does that leave us?

"You're not a typical guy, Justin."

I roll my eyes and say, "I can try to be."

"Not at my expense."

"Laney Jane-"

"Go to your hotel. I'll see you there later. Like we planned."

"Why don't you come with me?"

"Because I was in the middle of something and I belong here. You don't."

I wince against the words and practically shout, "You know what? Don't bother coming by later. I don't want to put you out or anything." I flick my hand against one of the lilies and say, "Enjoy the flowers, Laney Jane."

I storm off into the hall. Well, I try to. It's thwarted by a small group of girls that has formed and I find myself stuck in the middle of it. Okay. Not my brightest idea. I don't know what I expected to happen-that everything would magically work out. It's that damn optimistic side to me. Maybe if I became more cynical, more like Laney Jane, these things wouldn't happen to me.

As Todd clears a path for me, I hurry down the hall. I reach the doors and fall into a light jog toward my car. I'm almost home free when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I hope it's Laney Jane - that she'll look at me and we'll both know that everything will be okay - but it's not.

It's Frankie.

He claps his hands and says, "Nice work, Timberlake."

"What do you want?" I grit out.

"Does that prove it to you?" he asks, motioning back to the building. He leans in closer to me and says, "Laney was in the middle of a disagreement with her advisor about how her relationship with you isn't a detriment to her career and you stroll right in on it. Your timing is impeccable. You should get an award for guy most likely to screw up Laney's life with good intentions."

I throw my hands up in the air. Laney doesn't want my help, but I need to do something. And maybe…maybe Frankie is best at helping her through this. Obviously I'm not the right man for the job and everything I do is wrong.

"You know what? You win, Frankie."

"What?" he replies. He honestly looks confused.

"You win. I give up. You're right and I'm wrong."

"Are you saying…"

"I'm breaking things off with Laney Jane. We're from different worlds and I guess…" I pause. I'm not going to lose it in front of him. I bite down on my lip and take a deep breath before continuing, "I wanted to believe that my fame was something we could work through, that it didn't matter, but it appears I was wrong. So I'll do what I have to do because she's my best friend and I love her."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

I roll my eyes and say, "You need to take care of her."

"You're serious."

"I love her. I love her more than you'll ever know and if this is what she needs so that she'll stop being so sad all the time…I'll do it," I open the door of my limousine as Todd rushes out the door. He glares at me and I know I'm going to get a lecture on how I'm different from everyone else.  Like I'm not already acutely aware of that bit of information.  Like the fact that I have to give up my girlfriend because she's normal. I focus on Frankie again and add, "You better take care of her because if you hurt her, I'll kill you."

"You're doing the right thing, Justin."

"Whatever," I say. I sit down in the limo and before closing the door reply, "I guess it's safe to assume that our little talks will stay between the two of us." I don't wait for a response. I know he won't say anything. He's too much of a coward to tell Laney the truth.

The limo lurches forward into traffic and I realize that there is only one thing left to do. Come up with what I'm going to say to Laney Jane. It's got to be believable, got to be something that will get her to give up on me.

I only hope I can do this without it killing me.

Author's Notes:  Again, much love to Steph and Susie for the beta.  I know it was especially tough for Steph to get through with her very strange attachment to the relationship of Justin and Laney.  Hopefully, this enlightens readers much more as to what Justin is doing, what Frankie's motivation is, and why Laney is being so...crazy.  Now, of course, I must warn.  It will only get worse before it gets better.  Mwahahahahaha. Thanks for your patience during the wait for this chapter-I will try my hardest not to let such a long time lapse this time around.

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