Chapter Nine

Ever have one of those mornings where it would be best to keep sleeping? You'd be able to sleep through the day and prevent any of the crap that is about to happen. But the thing with days like those is that you don't know about them until it's too late. By the time you realize you should have stayed in bed and pretended the world didn't exist, all the crap has already occurred. Your day is ruined…and there is no way an insignificant thing like sleep can save you.

I had thought that my life would be smooth sailing with everything between Laney and myself resolved. She had forgiven me without too many hassles and, although I still wasn't too fond of Spencer, I was ready to accept that Laney saw something in his over-abundance of dorkiness. If I had to learn to live with the guy in order to keep my best friend from disowning me, I would have to do it.

So I was content. Not only was my personal life looking to go on the upswing and force me out of my awkwardness around Laney, but I also had the best dream. I didn't really remember much about it; it was more the emotions it created. I knew I was happy. I was on the beach, singing to a beautiful girl and we…well, like I said I didn't really remember the details, but more along the lines of sensations. I had this satisfied feeling-like when you have a glass of water, unaware that you're even thirsty, and it hits the spot. That's what the dream was for me, whomever I was with hit the spot.

My happiness was about to be short-lived. And, in hindsight, it was definitely one of those days that I should have ignored the world around me. I should have stayed lost in my dream world.

I grunted as my eyes fluttered open. Sunrays were sneaking in through a small opening in the window shade and landing on my face. I stretched my arms up, engulfed in the satiny feel of the blanket, and my eyes adjusted to the light. I was overcome with an overwhelming panic about where I was. It wasn't the first time. When you've spent a large portion of your life on the road, there were always mornings when you woke up and felt confused. I glanced at the lump next to me. I must have ended up at Britney's hotel after all, but for some reason I didn't remember groveling at her feet for forgiveness.

I wasn't sure what the hell had happened, but my neck was reciting a tale of uncomfortable sleep to say the least. I stretched my arms over my head again, trying to rid myself of stiffness, and turned on my side. I breathed in the calming scent of lavender and baby shampoo. It startled me at first because Britney never used anything but Nexus on her hair, but I was slowly lured back into my blissful dreamstate.

I rolled on my side and my arm hit flesh. In reciprocation, a hand hit me in the side and I moaned, "Brit, stop hogging the bed."

"It's not Britney, so your hands better avoid any and ALL groping," the body next to me moaned.

My eyes blinked several times and I focused my eyes on her face-Laney Jane's face. I gulped, "Laney?"

"Shut up, Justin…it's too early for this," Laney's voice replied.

Laney? What the hell was I doing in Laney's bed? What the hell happened last night? I blinked and jumped out of the bed. I patted my hands over my body. I was fully clothed. I still had my jeans and tee shirt on. That was a good sign. My eyes wandered over to where Laney had been sprawled out on the bed next to me. She was dressed in sweats and a tank top--another very good sign. We both had our clothes on. I closed my eyes when I caught myself staring at how the top clung to her. I whacked her with a pillow and practically hollered, "Why were we sleeping together?"

"Because someone fell asleep and, even after I pushed him out of my bed, he refused to leave. They should market your sleeping abilities. It appears to be better than Valium," she responded, sitting up in the bed.

I laughed as her hair went in every direction. I pointed and said, "Nice look, Einstein. You look like you got struck by lightening."

She hugged her arms over her chest and countered, "One could say the same thing about your ode to the bird's nest that you've got going on."

I ran my hands through my curls and sat down on the edge of the bed. I brooded, "Well, my hair wouldn't be so bad if someone didn't take up the whole damn bad."

"How dare I try to be comfortable on my own bed! Justin, you practically pushed me out of bed last night to make room for your gangly body. Be grateful I didn't leave your ass in the dorm hall," Laney commented. She stood up and glanced at the clock, "Shit. I had an eight o'clock class this morning."

I tried to tame my hair somewhat and my face paled as Laney's words sunk in. I stared at her and asked, "Why did you say that?"

Laney shot me a dumbfounded look, like I was the stupidest person on the planet. She turned her alarm clock to face me and answered slowly, "Because it's already nine thirty."

I immediately began searching for my sneakers. I glanced at the clock, wishing it would automatically go back two hours. I groaned, "I was supposed to have breakfast with Britney this morning at eight. This isn't happening. This isn't fucking happening!"

Laney grabbed my jacket and threw it at me. She shook her head, "Do you want me to call ahead and tell her you're on the way?"

"NO! If she knows that I'm on my way, she'll have time to plan my murder." I pulled out my cellphone and dialed Todd's phone number from heart. I knew I was about to get some lecture on checking in and stuff. He didn't seem to understand that I was his boss. Whenever I said something like that he would laugh and practically dare me to find someone else willing to protect my butt.

He did have a point.

"Where are you?" Todd's voice boomed. He didn't bother with any hellos or morning greetings.

"Don't freak out on me, man. I'm perfectly safe. I'm in Laney's dorm room," I said. I heard Todd's tongue click like he was wondering if he should give me a lecture on safe sex or something. That was a conversation I didn't want to have and I immediately went on, "We fell asleep watching movies. I'm totally screwed, Toddy. I was supposed to be at Brit's this morning."

"I know."

"Oh god. She called, didn't she? Of course she called. I blew her off-but not intentionally…do you think that will earn me any points?" I whined. I looked at Laney helplessly and she had a sympathetic expression on her face-as if she were waiting for me to tell her how to fix this. No matter how badly things with Britney were messed up at least Laney Jane was still talking to me.

"Justin, are you done having a conversation with yourself?"

"Toddy, was she pissed?"

"Well, she wasn't exactly happy. She was worried. She thought something happened. I told her that I thought you spent the night there-under the watchful eye of protection mind you-so imagine how surprised I was with your little disappearing act."

"I was perfectly safe with Laney and it's not like I did it on purpose."

"Are you still there?"

"I'm about to catch a cab to Brit's hotel now. Meet me there-and hurry. I have a feeling high-heeled boots will be flying at my face," I hung up the phone and turned to face Laney. She was playing with her hair. I watched her momentarily, falling into a sleepy daze, before remembering I had an angry girlfriend plotting my demise uptown. I smiled weakly at Laney and said, "It figures that I appease one female in my life only to upset the other one."

"Don't even try to blame me for this," Laney replied. She opened her door and nodded for me to hurry, "Remember what I said last night, Justin."

"You rock at the Fatkid impression?" I guessed, glancing over the room to make sure I didn't forget anything.

Laney rolled her eyes, "Do something for Britney, J."

I grinned evilly, "How about I do something to her?"

Laney covered her ears, "La, la, la…I can't hear you."

I nodded as I hurried to the door, slipping my other shoe on my foot and not bothering with the shoelaces. I saw a few people sitting on the floor in the hall, whispering with each other, and I met Laney's eyes. I knew how bad this looked. I said, "I'll call you later if I live to tell the tale of a pissed off girlfriend."

"We live in the new millennium, J. If she hits you, there's plenty of makeup that can cover up shiners."

"Thanks Laney. It's nice to know you care," I replied. I kissed her cheek and hurried down the hall. I called out, "I'll talk to you later!"

"Good luck! And remember to duck large objects flying at your face," Laney hollered down the hall.

I turned and smirked. I pointed at her and stated, "Pray for me."

"Praying for popstars. It sounds like a bad TV special on the PAX network."

I rolled my eyes and hurried to the elevator. I jumped on, not paying any attention to the fact that I was undisguised against people. My hair was especially big at the moment and I left my hat in Laney's room. I could feel the puffiness under my eyes, but not enough to conceal me from fans on the streets that were Nsync hunting. I prayed silently that a cab would be easily available and ran off the elevator as it opened.

Of course there were no cabs for about four blocks and I was stopped by about three different groups of girls asking for photos in the middle of a thunderstorm. And I can't forget the fact that I got the one cabbie in Manhattan that followed the pedestrians-have-the-right-away law. I had to resist the urge to yell obscenities and tell him to "Run the bastards over; I'm late." By the time I reached Britney's hotel, I was soaked, irritated, and almost two and a half hours late for our breakfast date.

I hopped off the elevator of the Plaza Hotel, thinking of different ways to phrase my apology. Laney said to do something nice for Britney, but first I was going to have to get her to talk to me. That was going to be the hard part. It was going to be really hard. Britney knew how to hold a grudge. She still brought up the fact that I made fun of her when we were eleven years old. Girls never got over stuff like that. It was annoying.

I walked down the long hall with an ominous feeling, like something out of the Shining was awaiting me, and stopped in my tracks when Britney and Tim exited her room talking. She stopped mid-sentence when she saw me. She stood there, arms folded, and frowned.

I ran down the hall, my sneakers making squeaky sounds on the carpet from the water, and stopped right in front of her. It took a second to catch my breath and I said, "I'm so sorry. I overslept. I knew I was jet-lagged. I shoulda been more-"

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I was at Laney's."

Britney glared at me and practically screamed, "You spent the night at Laney's?"

"I didn't mean to. I fell asleep."

Britney ignored me. She turned to Tim and said, "Go ahead and have them bring the car around. I'll meet you downstairs right by the elevator."

Tim, who was usually friendly with me, gave me a lethal stare before stomping down the hall and getting in the elevator. Britney and I watched him in silence. Once he was gone, she spun on her heels and went back into her room without a peep. She fell back on the sofa and looked at me expectantly.

I needed something good. Some charming, unbelievably amazing comment about her hair or shoes or how I was the luckiest guy on the face of the earth. I replied, "It was just Laney Jane. It wasn't like I was off with a hooker or anything. Jesus."

Britney's jaw dropped and her eyes narrowed on me. She shook her head and said quietly, "That's good to know. I'm sitting here, over mushy pancakes, worrying myself sick because you're never late without calling…and you tell me that I should be grateful you aren't sleeping with whores? Thanks Justin. If I ever had any doubts about my importance to you, you've just assured me of how little you think of me."

She stood up and started to walk off. I grabbed her arm, "Brit, that wasn't what I meant to say. I…I didn't mean to. I fell asleep."

"Yeah, at Laney's. I got that much," she snarled, pulling her arm away from me. She hugged herself protectively and I reached for her again. She shook her head, "That won't solve anything."

"What is there to solve? I overslept, Brit. I'm sorry. You said it yourself. I don't usually do it. That should count for something. I'll keep apologizing if that will help. I'm sorry. It was inconsiderate and I-" my voice trailed off and I took a seat on the edge of the coffee table. I rubbed my temples and said, "This isn't about breakfast, is it?"

Britney rolled her eyes, "Score one for Timberlake."

"If you're going to be a bitch, maybe I should come back later," I replied. I leaned forward, the anxiety of hurrying to her hotel catching up with me, and I suddenly felt sick.

I heard Britney creep towards me and I half-expected to be greeted with a baseball bat to the skull. I didn't move. I kept my eyes locked on my pant leg, trying to keep the sick feeling from spreading to my head. Britney's hand ran through my curls, easing my pain slightly, and she sat down next to me. She sighed and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Not really."

"Justin, we can't keep doing this. You know that, right?"

"Doing what?" I asked. It was a stupid question that I knew the answer to. It seemed all the finales of my relationships began with that line. I tilted my head so that we were looking at each other. I tried to smile, but it got caught in my jaw and wouldn't form. I stared at her for a long time and said, "I'm sorry, Britney. I don't know what else I can do."

"You can stop lying to yourself."

"What?"

"Justin, how come everyone around us can see it, but you?"

I scratched my chin, "What the hell are you talking about? Who is everyone?"

She rolled her eyes, "I love you, Justin, but you're a fucking moron."

"Is this more of that-" my eyes widened and I asked, "Is this about Laney Jane?"

"She's a great girl, Justin," Britney answered softly as her fingers traced over my forearm, causing the skin to tingle.

"Yeah…" I replied carefully, watching her draw patterns on my flesh. The smooth feel of her skin on mine managed to calm me a bit and I started to breathe normally again.

"And I'm wondering when you're going to admit that your feelings for her are deeper than you let on," Britney said, stopping her fingers abruptly and standing up. She looked down at me and I felt like I was five years old again. My mother used to sit me in a chair and wag her finger in my face whenever I did something wrong and needed a "good talking to."

I groaned, "Brit, you're not-Laney is my best friend. That's all."

"That's not all, Justin. Since the-I keep waiting. I try to enjoy our time together and forget about the fact that you're going to break my heart-" Britney swallowed loudly and went on, "…It's like I know the end is coming. You're the most important person in my life, Justin, and it's getting harder for me to act like you feel the same way. I had hoped that breakfast would ease my worries, but you didn't show up. And why was that again?"

"I overslept," I replied. I quickly realized that wasn't a question she wanted me to answer. She already had her explanation. At least, she thought she did.

"With Laney."

"It wasn't with Laney. She was asleep. I was asleep. There was no with involved."

"So that makes it okay? This isn't the first time you've blown me off for her."

"Neither of us-I feel asleep while we were watching a movie! It wasn't some secret rendezvous." I felt completely useless at the moment. There was nothing I could say besides point out that Britney was insane. Maybe if she vented and got it out, everything would be okay. Otherwise, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I needed Britney. I replied hoarsely, "I would never hurt you, Brit. I love you."

She smiled and for a minute I thought that I had made some progress, but her hands fell on her hips and she replied, "I know you think that-"

"I don't think that. I know that. What the hell happened while I was away? I come back to find Laney acting all weird and girly and you're suddenly the possessive girlfriend."

"I'm not possessive, J, and you know it!"

"I thought I knew it. I thought you understood what Laney's friendship meant to me."

"I'm not the one who has trouble grasping what your friendship means to you, J. You are!"

"This is bullshit. You're friends with plenty of guys-good-looking guys who would love to go out with you-and I don't pull this. You're acting like a jealous girlfriend and it's stupid! You and Laney are the one's acting differently. Not me!" I said, my voice rising without my permission. I knew I was yelling. I hated myself for yelling at her, but I couldn't stop it. I was overwhelmed with all these emotions, mostly fear, and I didn't know what to make of them. It was times like this I wished I were as emotionally evolved as most of my fans seemed to think I was. Instead, I was completely clueless to what was going on.

"Don't take this out on me, Justin. Nothing happened while you were away. I was able to live in blissful ignorance thinking that once you saw Laney and Spencer together, your fixation with her would finally go away. Last night I realized that it's not going to go away. You're in love with her," Britney said.

"What?" I scoffed. I stood up and chuckled, "I'm not in love with Laney. She's my best friend. I've known her since I was eleven and our children will be best friends someday, but…"

"Justin, the sad thing is that you really believe that. You don't even see it. I want to be so mad at you right now. I should be screaming and crying, but you're so utterly clueless that I can't!" She said with frustrated huff. Her arms folded in front of her and she repeated, "You're in love with Laney."

"Stop saying that!" I exclaimed. I gripped at my head, the sickly sensation spreading and pounding against my forehead, and continued, "If you want to break up, don't use Laney as an excuse. Just say it."

"I don't want to break up. I love you, J. I want us to have a future together."

"So do I. Nobody understands my life like you do, B. We belong together. You and me…not me and Laney."

Brit shook her head. She said, "I sat up all night and thought about us-about everything, J. And I keep coming back to this one small problem we have."

"You're paranoid?" I snapped.

"Laney. It's like I'm a substitute for the real thing. When Laney isn't available or when you're annoyed with Laney, I'm your favorite person in the world. But Laney always comes first. You ask me to look out for her. You ask me to find her a boyfriend. You call me and bring up Laney. We go out and you bring up Laney. I can't even get you to see a movie until you've seen it with Laney! How can you not notice that everything comes back to Laney?"

"Because it's not true," I protested. Britney rolled her eyes and I repeated, "It's not true. Maybe the movie thing-but that's our thing. It doesn't reveal some hidden desire to marry the girl!"

"You always used to say you were going to marry Laney Jane. You told Ryan and TJ not to pick on Laney when she visited you on the set…that you were going to marry her one day."

I groaned, "I was twelve years old, Britney! I also planned to marry Paula Abdul and Jodi Sweeten from Full House. Give me a fucking break!"

Britney bit at her lip and said, "Can I finish?"

I nodded and sat back down on the table. Britney fell on to the sofa in front of me. She glanced at her watch and moaned, "I have to hurry. I have this stupid meeting that I've already postponed eight different times. I can't miss it."

I glared at her. I couldn't believe this was happening. I always thought Britney was different than all my other girlfriends. They got jealous over everything and nothing I did made it clear that they had no reason to be jealous. When I started dating Britney, I had blown it off. I had realized I never cared about those other girls like I did Britney. She and I knew what the other's life was like-we understood each other. It was like we were meant to date and I wasn't ready to let that go.

At the same time, I wasn't going to express regret over a friendship that was extremely important to me. Laney was part of the package. If you loved me, you loved Laney Jane. That was the way it worked. I replied, "Don't blow it off on my account. You can always break up with my voice mail like Jessica did."

"I'm not some girl using you to get to one of your friends, Justin. I love you, you moron!" Britney responded. I knew she did. I could see it on her face. She loved me. So why was she doing this? Maybe Laney was right…Britney could be as dramatic as I was and she was blowing this way out of proportion. She seemed to read my mind and continued, "I used to see it with all your other girlfriends, Justin. I watched how you acted like they were so important to you--the center of your universe--and I also saw how quickly you forgot they existed when Laney was around or asked you to go to a movie. I always felt bad for the girls because you couldn't see that Laney was the most important person in your life-"

"That is not…" I stopped when she shot me a dirty look.

"Then one day, you focused your attention on me and I was so freaking happy to have your attention that I overlooked it all. I got this crazy notion that I might possibly become important to you."

"And you did," I practically cried out. I didn't know what else to do. I was numb. It was like having a loaded gun pointed in your face. I couldn't breath. I felt like my life was over, but I didn't really comprehend it.

"JUSTIN! When are you going to-you bought Laney a gift for god's sake!"

"Is that what this is about? That I bought Laney a stupid little boat? I bought something for you too. I left it here."

"I know. I found it. Nice earrings by the way."

"They had the tennis bracelet you wear in the store and the guy said that the earrings were a must have," I replied.

"The guy at the store?"

"Yeah. The people they pay to help idiot boyfriends like me pick out nice gifts for their girlfriends back home."

Britney shot me a knowing look, "You shouldn't need help picking out gifts for me. You should know me by now, Justin."

"I do. I know you like jewelry and the jeweler helped me pick out the perfect diamond," I replied angrily. I was feeling enraged. She was shooting all these accusations at me so fast that my head was spinning and all my mind could do was repeat play "You love Laney" over and over. I knew she would be mad about breakfast, but this was a whole new form of womanly bullshit if I had ever heard it before.

"I bet you didn't need help picking out Laney's gift," Britney countered.

"No. I didn't."

"See?"

"Not really."

"You love her, Justin. You know everything about her. You knew how happy that little boat would make her."

"It's because she's made me sit through Philadelphia Story about SIX HUNDRED TIMES and every time she says 'I would love to go off on a trip in a boat called 'True Love' with Cary Grant.' It didn't take a genius to figure out that she would like the god damn boat! It doesn't mean that I'm in love with her." I yelled.

"You're missing the point, Justin Timberlake!" Britney shouted back, as if using my full name made what she said much truer.

I covered my face with my hands and let out a loud moan. My muscles were completely tensed up, I felt sick, and Britney was expecting me to declare my romantic intentions for Melanie Jane. I refused to look at Britney. I asked quietly, "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I love you but I'm nobody's consolation prize."

"Is this some sorta ultimatum?"

Britney let out a hollow laugh and replied, "You wouldn't choose me anyway."

"Not if you made me choose."

"God forbid someone in your life force you to make a choice-a decision that was completely up to you-Would you even know what to do?"

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean? I was late for breakfast so I'm forced to endure a long list of my faults as a boyfriend? So I'm indecisive, secretly in love with Melanie Jane, and take you for granted. Anything else?"

"Justin, are you going to try to deny the fact that you have a real fear of being honest about what you want? I've seen you go along with ideas for your group that you weren't a hundred percent behind because you weren't sure the other idea was too bad either. You want it both ways with everything! You avoid making any real decisions. If it involves the group, you let the others lead. If it's personal, you expect Laney or myself to make the choice for you. I'm sorry. I can't do it anymore. It's time for you to make a choice for once in your life. Stop being so scared and stop acting like Laney is just a friend to you. It's pathetic and it's not fair to me. It's not fair to Laney. It's not fair to Spencer-"

"Is this about Spencer again? I told Laney I would give the guy another chance."

"And you won't like him because he's competition."

"Shut up. This has nothing-would you stop talking about Laney and me like we're some couple? We're friends. F-R-I-E-N-D-S! That's all! I don't know how many different ways I can say that to you!"

"You can't. Stop trying," Britney leaned forward. She took my hand, which really confused me. Were we breaking up? She kissed my hand and said, "I know that you don't want to hurt me. I know that you think you love me, Justin-who knows? Maybe you do love me…but every day we stay together, I start to hate you-and I start to hate Laney."

"Could you lay the guilt on a bit thicker, Brit? What possible reasons could you have to hate Laney?"

"Because she's as clueless as you are. I don't know how she can miss the way you look at her. I certainly don't."

"I don't look at her any way."

Britney shot me a get-real look. She sighed, "Justin, I want what you have with Laney. I want you to be so engrossed in a conversation with me that you forget there are other people around. I want you to worry about how the fans treat me half as much as you do with Laney-"

"But you know how the fans are. It's already a part of your life, Brit."

Britney ignored me and went on, "I want you to put half as much effort into our relationship as you have put into finding Laney a boyfriend. I want you to see something on a street that reminds you of me and you have to buy it."

"So this is about the gift?" I asked.

Britney screamed in frustration. She ran her hands through her hair and muttered, "It's like ramming my head into a brick wall."

"That's what I feel like right now. I have a girlfriend talking in Morse code."

"I'm not talking in…" Britney took a deep breath. She glanced at me with a poisonous stare and asked, "What about Hawaii?"

I fought for the air in the room, but it wouldn't go into my lungs fast enough. How did she know-not there was anything to know. It was a momentary thing…and I had simply appreciated how pretty Laney was. It wasn't like I had jumped her behind a sand dune. I said quietly, "What about Hawaii?"

"You and Laney were always off doing stuff together while I sat at the pool by myself."

"I thought you wanted to sit by the pool."

"I wanted to spend time with you…and you wanted to spend time with Laney."

"Brit, you know the stuff I'm going through with Laney. She freaks out about her friendship with me. I assumed that you were secure enough to handle that!"

"Trust me, Justin. I'm plenty secure-it doesn't make me stupid," Britney scowled and clamped down on her lips so hard that I saw her flinch. She whispered, "And I'm beginning to think that's the only reason you're with me."

"Because I think you're stupid?"

"Don't try to be funny."

"Because I'm thinking you're stupid right about now."

"J, why am I the one who has to point this stuff out to you? I can't believe that you are so blind to everything! You've had to think of Laney as more than a friend at some point. You've had to."

"No, I haven't," I lied. I mean it wasn't really a lie. Hawaii didn't count. It was a ten-minute thing. It didn't last much longer than that…and prior to Hawaii, I never paid attention to Laney's eyes, or full lips, or the way her hair fell over her tanned shoulders…Besides, I had a girlfriend, I wasn't dead. I was still allowed to notice pretty girls.

"You're lying to me," Britney snapped. Her eyes wandered over the room and she shrugged, "I hate this. I want everything to be okay with us, but we've got this Laney cloud hanging over us, Justin. You need to figure things out with her-otherwise you and I are never going to be okay."

"We were okay before."

"No, we were clueless. There's a difference," Britney folded her arms. She inched closer to me, patting my hand condescendingly, and added, "I don't want to lose you, J, but I have this feeling it's going to happen no matter what I do. You and Laney need to talk about things."

"There is nothing to talk about. Both Laney and I understand that friends can just be friends. Laney Jane is not in love with me. I'm not in love with her. Have you ever-there are no lovey-dovey feelings between us! It would mess things up. We work the way we are."

"Right. Are you telling me that if Spencer and her work out, you'll be happy about that?"

"Maybe once I get to know him and what his intentions are-"

"And what if he tells you that he wants to marry her? What if Spencer tells you that he's madly in love with Laney and he'll fight for her against anything and everything?"

"I would laugh and tell him that Laney doesn't like that kinda bullshit," I answered with a smug glare.

"Fine. And what if Laney told you that she wanted Spencer to be the most important guy in her life? How would you handle that, J?"

"Laney wouldn't do that."

"How do you know she wouldn't?"

"Because I do. She wouldn't stop being my friend because Spencer wanted her to."

"But what if it did happen? Are you prepared to step aside and let someone else be her best friend?"

"I don't understand how we went from me being madly in love with her to losing her as my best friend. They're completely different," I pried my hand free of Britney's grasp. I stood up and started to pace around the room. I threw my hands up in the air and practically screamed, "Laney Jane has had boyfriends before. I've never cared-and do I have to point out that I was the one who decided to find her a boyfriend? Would someone in love with her do that?"

"Someone who was fighting hard to keep his feelings hidden would."

"No, I wouldn't. If I were in love with Laney, I wouldn't be trying to find her a new boyfriend. I went out of my way to make sure she had someone nearly as wonderful as you," I snapped.

Britney held up her hand and countered, "Let's look at your choices, shall we?"

"What was wrong with Travis or Dennis?"

"Justin, you picked guys that Laney would never be compatible with."

"I did no such thing. I thought her and Travis would hit it off."

Britney rolled her eyes, "Travis failed his GED twice and you're going to tell me that you thought he was Laney's soulmate? And I won't even go into Dennis."

"Dennis was perfect for her," I replied. He really was minus one little flaw. I added forcefully, "Even she said Dennis would've been perfect for her."

"Dennis was gay, Justin!"

"So I found out. It wasn't like I knew that ahead of time. Anyway, he's the one you should be jealous of instead of Laney. I think he has a thing for me," I joked.

"Of course. Let's make jokes and avoid everything," Britney replied in a huff.

"Yeah, we'll act like that's the problem right now," I said angrily.

"Justin, I'm trying to make you understand. I'm not-I don't want to lose you. I love you, but you-"

"Britney, if you say that I'm in love with Laney Jane one more time, I'm going to jump out your fucking window!"

"Fine. Act like you aren't in love with her. Keep throwing out excuses about how you're a good friend and want her to find a boyfriend. We'll ignore the fact that you picked out freaks that you knew she would never tolerate. We'll disregard reality and pretend that when she finally did meet someone suitable to date, you acted like an obnoxious jackass. Hell, I'll even act like I'm completely okay with the fact that Laney knows you better than I ever will," Britney flopped back on the sofa, throwing one of the small cushions aside. She stared at me for a long time and added quietly, "I know you, Justin. The only person you're kidding is yourself."

"Now you know me better than I know myself?"

"Justin, I've always known you better than you know yourself. That's why I can comprehend that you're not in love with me. Sure, we could probably have a few more years as the happy couple everyone thinks we are…then one day you'd wake up, look at me, and realize that you wasted all this time with the wrong girl. You'd finally realize that I wasn't Laney Jane and that I would never be as important to you as she is. I don't want that look. I don't want to roll over one morning and find your side of the bed empty because either you or Laney realized that you belonged together."

"For the last time, we don't belong together. You and I belong together. We-Britney, nobody understands my life like you do and I doubt any other guy could get what you're going through right now."

"That's not grounds for a good relationship, Justin, and if that's why you think we belong together then we've got no chance at a future," Britney glanced at her watch. She wiped her face and smiled, "I've got to go to this meeting. Johnny will kill me if I blow it off."

"I'm gonna shower and meet up with the guys."

"And call Laney to tell her what happened right?"

"Brit, I can't seem to make you understand. Do you want me to give up my friendship with Laney? Is that what I have to do?"

"Would you do it? Would you stay away from Laney for awhile if I asked you to?" Britney replied. I noticed the hopeful look in her face, but I didn't want to lie to her. I had never lied to Britney and I wasn't going to start now. I shook my head and she sighed, "I didn't think so.

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't ask me to choose," I replied.

"If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask you to choose, Justin. I would know," Britney said quietly. She walked to the door and I followed her. She kissed my cheek and said, "I've gotta go, J."

"That's it?"

"I'm not good at goodbyes. You know that."

"Britney, would you listen to me? I know you have to go, but maybe we could have dinner. Just you and me-no distractions, no Laney talk…just the two of us."

"Not right now. It's not a good idea."

"So we're breaking up?"

Britney shrugged. She fucking shrugged, like I was asking if she'd prefer McDonalds or Burger King for lunch, and pushed her hair out of her face. She smiled at me as if I was a reporter she had to impress and answered, "Yeah…maybe…we might be. I don't know."

"Well that clears it right up for me," I snapped.

"I'm new at this, Justin. I don't know if it's permanent. I think it is…but maybe if you and Laney deal with whatever there is between the two of you, we can have a future. I'm not sure."

"So a year down the road, when I'm still not with Laney, you'll finally realize how wrong you were about all of this?"

"A year down the line if you're not with Laney, I'm going to think you're both really stupid. You love romantic comedies, Justin. How can you not know that opposites attract?"

I frowned in distaste, "Because it's me and Laney and we're not like that."

"I suggest you think about that, J, because you're really not being fair-"

"To you or Spencer. Yeah, I get it."

"No. I was going to say you're not being fair to yourself, but whatever. I've gotta go," Britney stared at me for a long time. I knew with the right words I could make her stay. She wanted me to declare my undying devotion to her, but the words wouldn't come out. I kept thinking about her adamancy about Laney Jane and me. It was ridiculous. It was a misunderstanding. I couldn't be in love with Laney Jane. I could not be in love with my Laney Jane.

"I'm not in love with Laney," I mumbled, kicking at the rug.

Britney smiled, "You're like a broken record, Justin. I want you to be happy-"

"Then don't break up with me."

"It's like you don't listen," Britney walked out into the hall. She waited for me to exit behind her (I guess ex-boyfriends don't get to hang out in their ex-girlfriend's hotel suites) and closed the door. Her eyes pierced into mine and I knew she was trying to act brave and unselfish. I would've thought it was admirable if I wasn't completely baffled by the turn of events. She gulped down a huge amount of air and said, "I've decided to do that awards thing in Germany after all. We leave tomorrow and I won't be back for a few weeks."

"You'll miss the record release."

"I know. I'm sorry. Good luck. I bet you guys will break a ton of records."

"I don't want to disappoint anyone."

"I know. You want everyone to be happy with you. It doesn't always work that way. One day what you want will be something that someone else wants, J. You're going to have to put yourself first."

She might as well have been speaking in Chinese. I had no idea what she was going on about. I shrugged, "Will you call me when you get back? So we can hang out or something?"

"We'll see."

"I love you, Britney."

"But you love Laney more…and you won't ever choose me over her."

I nodded, "I won't make a choice like that. It's not fair."

Britney smiled weakly. She gripped the sleeve of my shirt and asked, "Justin, can you do me a favor? Can you wait here? Let me get on that elevator by myself. I don't want-I'm making the right decision. I know I am…and I know I'm right about us but…if I stay this close to you much longer, I'm going to lose it and I've got a meeting in fifteen minutes."

"And you have to be perfect."

"You always did know the drill," she replied. She shoved her hands into her jacket pockets and walked off towards the elevator. She waved back to me before getting on the elevator and I nodded in her direction.

I had been dumped.

Britney had dumped me. Sure, she had sugarcoated it with maybes and optimism about a potential reunion, but it didn't make things any easier. She had dumped me and I didn't even see it coming. I thought we were happy. I didn't know she was so upset about my relationship with Laney…and suddenly, I was supposed to understand Britney's cryptic messages. Why would she think I was in love with Laney Jane? We didn't act like we were in love. No one could confuse us for a couple. I mean, to a lot of people, we barely seemed like ideal friends.

I walked towards the elevator and grabbed my cellphone. I had to wait for Todd to get over to Britney's hotel since we were staying closer to MTV studios and he was probably taking his time, giving Britney plenty of time to ream me out.

"Hello?"

"I've been dumped," I moaned into the phone.

"Huh? What did you do?"

"Laney Jane, I tell you that I've been dumped and you throw accusations? What kind of friend are you?"

"You're telling me she broke up with you because you were late for breakfast? That doesn't sound like Britney."

"It's a long, horrible story," I said.

"You said something ridiculous like 'You complete me', didn't you? Or worse! My god, Justin, you didn't sing Barbara Streisand? She probably thinks you're gay!"

I rolled my eyes. I felt some of my unhappiness disappear and my shoulders weren't quite as tense, but I wasn't going to let Laney know that. The girl said I was gay. I countered, "If I were gay, you'd probably offer to marry me." Laney was quiet for a long time and I thought about everything Britney said. I stuttered, "Not that I would marry you…ever."

"First, if you were gay, you wouldn't dress as horribly as you do and yes, it would make you much more appealing to me on a whole, but alas, you aren't gay. Second, while I'm completely distraught over the fact that you will never marry me, I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. Think Justin. There has to be some logical reason Britney would dump you. The girl loves you."

I almost told her. I almost told Laney that Britney thinks that I'm in love with her…but how did you phrase something like that? How did you tell your best friend that your girlfriend thinks she's some sort of runner-up prize on Jeopardy? I replied quietly, "It doesn't matter. She meant it. We're through."

"I'm sorry, Justin."

I got on the elevator and said, "Are you busy right now? Can we go out to lunch? Or catch a movie?"

"Don't you have actual work to do?"

"Are you going to deny my one request when I'm heartbroken?"

"You're such a drama queen."

"First I was gay…now I'm a queen. Laney, stop trying to force me out of the closet."

I could practically hear Laney rolling her eyes. She answered, "Fine, I'll meet you. I've already blown off one class this morning. What's one more? Do you want me to meet you at your hotel?"

"Yeah. I'm staying under Richie Cunningham," I answered. I heard her snicker and hollered, "Don't laugh. I couldn't think of a new alias and everyone figured out the last one."

"Because Afro Sheen was so hard to figure out. I guess it could be worse. You could be using Ben Dover or something."

"Chris already took that one."

"You're all such losers."

"Laney, you aren't helping me right now."

"Justin, maybe it's a-she probably feels under appreciated. I told you to do something nice for her."

"We didn't get that far, Laney. She dumped my ass before I had a chance to do anything."

"I'm confused."

"You aren't the only one," I replied. I avoided mentioning that Britney had managed to create doubt about how I felt for Laney. Not really doubt-but it freaked me out a bit. My mind was stuck on Hawaii and how comfortable Laney had felt…

Stop it. Stop it. Britney doesn't know what she's talking about. You're going to befriend Spencer, prove Britney wrong, and get your girlfriend back, I yelled at myself. Everything would be okay once I hung out with Laney. What I needed was for Laney Jane to show up, for us to watch a movie, and for her to reassure me that she wasn't a woman-that she was the same girl I played basketball with on the weekends. I knew I would see Laney and feel nothing--I had to--but after everything with Britney, I didn't want to take any chances. The last thing I needed was for some weird imaginary crap to come between Laney Jane and me.

I stepped off the elevator. I wasn't sure what to do. I had no security with me and Toddy wasn't there yet. I had no room to hide out in. I was out in the open and fans could attack at any moment. I groaned into the phone, "I need to find somewhere to wait. Todd isn't here yet and I see a group of girls outside. They must've seen Britney leaving. This is the last thing I need right now."

"Do you want me to stay on the line? If anyone bothers you, you put them on the phone and I'll scare them away."

I laughed, "Great. Then I'll be reading articles about the nutty phone sex operator I talk to when I'm in hotel lobbies."

"Oh EW! You had to go there, didn't you?"

"I'm calling it like I see it."

"That I sound like a phone sex operator?"

"Laney Jane, I would never stand in the way of your dreams, but be careful. Joey calls those numbers all the time."

"I'm hanging up now."

I ignored her and continued, "And I did notice that he had your number in his phonebook with a star by it. Makes me wonder-"

"I'll see you in a bit, jackass," Laney spoke up over me and the phone clicked off in my ear.

I smiled. I immediately felt bad for it. I should've been depressed. I should've been thinking of ways to win Britney back, to prove that we belonged together. But the smile wouldn't leave my face. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around cautiously, ready to run for the nearest bathroom if I had to, and met Toddy's dark, angry stare.

He folded his arms, "Little man, I'm not going to ask why you're out in the open like this with no security in the immediate area."

"Britney dumped me and left me to be ripped apart by the fans."

Todd stared at me for a minute and then asked, "Are you serious?"

"Afraid so."

"So what's with the huge smile?"

"I was talking to Laney and-"

"Oh."

I glared at him, "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. The limo is waiting. Let's go," Todd pushed me in front of him and I would stop every few feet to stare at him. He didn't think I was in love with Laney, did he? Was this something that everyone but Laney and I had figured out? Was there some sort of conspiracy-maybe a Justin/Laney society…?

Okay, I'm going to interrupt the preposterous baboon before he starts comparing us to Sonny and Cher or turning our entire history together into some Danielle Steele novel set in Vienna during World War II. I would have to kill him and then teenyboppers everywhere would hate me more than they already do.

Justin has a tendency to exaggerate things except when it comes to any real problems he is facing. When it comes to the problems in his life, it's almost as if none of it registers or affects him in the least. He has this monosyllabic grunt-type of reply and he gives this sideward grin that flummoxes you before you can get the first "Are you okay" off your tongue. He comes across as completely together and that's usually when I know he's about to fall apart.

When I hung up the phone, I was especially worried and I hated worrying. People in my family had gone gray at early ages and I was convinced it was because of the fatal worrying gene in our genetic makeup. The Stantons had a history of taking people's problems upon their own shoulders and handling the brunt of things. And, at the moment, I wasn't experiencing your typical distress-this was my Justin anxiety.

He was joking around, picking on me, and trying to make light of the situation, but I knew the guy too well. Britney had said something that really upset him. I could hear it in his voice. And it had to be bad if he wasn't telling me. Justin told me everything-sometimes in greater detail than I wished he would-and suddenly he was Mr. Tight Lipped.

Needless to say, as I grabbed my backpack and headed out of the tranquility of my room, I was completely oblivious to anything and everything else. I hurried to the elevator and while I was waiting two girls who lived down the hall approached me. I didn't know their names…and honestly, I didn't want to either.

"Laney right?"

I nodded, checking my bag for my cellphone, and watched as the numbers rose on the elevator slowly.

The girl pushed her blonde hair out of her face and said, "I'm Kelly and this is Lauren. We live a few rooms down from you."

"Hi," I offered curtly. I wasn't trying to be rude, but I wasn't exactly looking to continue a conversation either.

"Was that Justin Timberlake we saw leaving your room this morning?"

I rolled my eyes and replied, "Huh?" I had learned quickly not to disclose any information on who I knew or was friends with. Usually Justin was disguised enough to blend in with other college students, but this morning he had been in such a hurry that his hair was a magnet for every closet college Nsync fan.

"Becky said she saw Justin leaving your room this morning. I know they're back in town and I was wondering what club you met him at."

"Look, I'm in a hurry and I don't really-"

Kelly cut me off, "It's not a big deal. We were just wondering. Lauren has met them a ton of times already. She's like friends with Lance and Justin and she's hooked up with JC."

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh, and feigned fake fascination, "Wow. Really?"

Lauren nodded, "Yeah. My aunt's best friend works with a girl that's friends with Lance."

Well, that was a mouthful. How did one keep track of such things? I smiled, not for the reasons they thought, and said, "Well, since your friends with Justin, why would you need me to tell you where he is?"

Lauren crossed her arms, "I don't. I was wondering if they're back in town…like maybe I should give JC a call."

There were some moments when I was almost willing to lose my anonymity at college and call people on their bullshit, set a few people straight. It usually faded rather quickly though when my mind coruscated with images of fan bombardment intruding on my life. I never wanted to relive the end of my high school career again. I didn't want everyone immersed in my business or trying to hang out with me in hopes of finding Justin's curly locks in my hairbrush. Sometimes it was better to let people lie to your face. I shrugged, "Well, that sounds like a personal dilemma."

My phone rang and I answered it, grateful for the interruption, "Hello?"

"So I was thinking…if Andy liked Brand all along why would she spend all her time with Troy?"

I smiled, "Maybe she didn't realize how much she liked Brand?"

"But see they had a date planned. She obviously knew she liked him. So again I have to ask, why Troy?"

I giggled. I heard it slip out and resisted the urge to slap myself. I replied, "Hey Spence." I glared at the two girls who were studying me intently like I was some medical autopsy. I waved my phone in their faces hoping they would take a hint.

"Are we still on for tonight?"

"I don't think so…Just…" my voice trailed off when I watched the girl's faces and I quickly corrected myself, "Just found out I have to do something."

"Really…that sucks. Britney decided at the last minute to do this special overseas and I have to accompany her on behalf of the record label."

I sighed. I wasn't sure what Spence already knew, but it wasn't my place to fill him in. I replied, "Well this sucks. I won't get to see you before you leave."

"Do you have any time this evening? I know you've got the last of your midterms before spring break, but maybe we could sit and read."

The elevator doors opened and I hopped on. My relief was cut short as the two girls got on with me. I wondered if a good hiss would scare them away. I talked into the phone, "You know the jackass from last night?"

"Are we speaking in code for a reason, Laney?" Spencer replied in an amused tone.

"It seems I've made some new friends."

"And you told me that you don't play well with others."

I laughed before answering, "Anyway, he's pretty bummed out and requesting my presence. I think it falls under the duties of a good friend."

"Oh. Yes, I've been dealing with an equally depressed pop princess all morning. She nearly bit the guy from Clairol's head off," Spencer replied.

"Sounds fun."

"I guess if you're into major ass-kissing and promises that the celebrity's ego is not the size of Texas. I'm guessing her and Justin had a pretty bad fight." I didn't say anything and he continued, "Well, I really want to see you before I leave, Laney. Is there anything we can do about that?"

"Do you mind the jackass tagging along? We could attempt dinner…I promise that the arrogant idiot will be on his best behavior."

"That's cool with me. I'd like to get to know him better."

"On purpose? Why?" I asked. I jumped off the elevator as fast as I could. Kelly tapped my shoulders and had the audacity to look pissed off with me. I spoke to Spence, "Hold on for a second, Spence." I glared at the girl and said, "Yes?"

"Are you going to tell us any information about Justin or not?"

"I don't know what you guys are talking about. If you're friends with him, you probably know Justin Timberlake's itinerary better than I do," I snapped. It wasn't a complete lie. I made no attempts at learning Justin's daily whereabouts. It would give me a headache trying to keep up with his schedule. I waved the phone in their faces and pointed out, "As you can see, I'm on the phone. Gotta go. Sorry."

I took off without another word and said, "Still there Spencer?"

"I find it highly entertaining listening to you frighten Justin's fans. You should rethink this politics thing and go into the entertainment industry."

"Oh right. I'd make the best kind of manager."

"Honesty might actually be refreshing in this business. Sometimes I forget why I even got involved. It's all bureaucracy and not really about the music."

"You sound like Justin did back in November. If I had to hear the little puppet analogy one more time, I was going to strangle him with his strings."

Spencer laughed, "So what time should we meet? Should I come to their hotel? Do you want to meet at a restaurant?"

"It might be a bit more prudent for you to come over to their hotel. Do you need the info?"

"Laney, I work for Jive. There isn't much information on Justin that I can't get."

"Well, that's immensely frightening."

"Tell me about it. So what time?"

I stopped walking in front of the subway station. I knew my cellphone would go out and I replied, "I'm blowing off my classes for the rest of the day, but Justin wanted to watch a movie. Around six might work? That gives me a good six hours to beat him into a polite stupor."

"Remind me to stay on your good side, Laney."

I smiled. If he only knew where he stood with me-okay, if only I knew where he stood with me. I said, "I'm about to get on the subway. So I'll see you later."

"Later. We'll need to cram three weeks of time together into one night…I'm convinced it can be done."

"Bye," I replied, hanging up my phone and shoving it in my bag. I looked up at the sky, bright blue, as compared the treacherous storms of only an hour ago. Maybe that was a good sign?

I groaned and yelled at myself, a few weeks with a potential boyfriend and you're suddenly abandoning all your principles. Get it together.

It took me about a half-hour with the subway detours to get to the hotel. I noticed a small group of girls standing along the MTV side of the street and they glared at me as I walked to the hotel entrance. I had learned a long time ago that the key to avoid being mistaken for a fanatical Nsync aficionado was to walk in. Don't look around. Don't appear nervous, lost, or confused. Simply walk right to the elevators and know where you're going.

I didn't, but I always faked it until I could get to my phone.

I hopped on the elevators. Two girls and an older woman were already on as it opened in the lobby. I looked at them strangely, but they didn't get off the elevator. I smiled bemusedly in their direction and pulled my phone out.

His voice immediately echoed rather mopily, "Where are you? I'm about to lapse into an almost suicidal depression over this and you're taking your sweet time getting here, Laney Jane!"

"Would you calm down? I'm in the elevator. I need to know what floor to get off at," I heard the girls whispering next to me. They turned away, stared out the glass windows of the elevator, and pretended to study the lay of the lobby below us. I whispered, "I can't exactly ask a bellhop, can I?"

"45th floor…we have the whole floor to ourselves. These rooms are nice. I've got a big screen television AND a DVD player in here. Think of the fun to be had…shut UP, Chris."

I went to press the button and found I didn't have to; thankfully someone had pressed almost every floor button. I said, "I should be there in about five or ten minutes."

"If you're in the elevator, why...floor jumpers huh?"

"Looks like it."

"Better you than me, Laney Jane."

"Yeah. Wonderful. Bye."

"I'll be waiting," Justin said, hanging up the phone and making stupid kissy noises into the receiver. I clicked my phone off and glared at it. He was such a pest. Once it would've been nice if he could end a phone conversation in a semi-normal manner.

The girls were staring at me again. I smiled in their general direction and waited for my floor to finally arrive. The girls tried to follow me off, but Lonnie's presence at the end of the hall seemed to cause them to gravitate back inside their means of transportation. He glared in their direction as the one girl said, not at all inconspicuously, "I knew it."

I rolled my eyes and Lonnie smiled, "Hey there. Come to cure Grumpy Dwarf's problem?"

"I've told his mother plenty of times that the only surefire remedy is a lobotomy."

Lonnie chuckled, "Last room…beware. He and Chris were having a shoe fight. It got heated at one point. Apparently Justin accused Chris of wearing leg warmers and Chris decided to do the 'Maniac' dance from Flashdance."

I shook my head, laughing, and said, "Thanks for the warning."

I walked down the hall and heard Chris singing, "…hurts when there's nothing…but a slow blowing dream…that your fear seems to hide, deep inside your mind…"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Justin yelled.

Chris continued singing, "…all alone I have cried…silent tears, full of pride…in a world made of steel, made of stone…"

"CHRIS! I swear I'm going to rip your vocal chords out."

"This coming from the guy that spent last summer singing the mellow yellow song from the GAP commercial," Chris muttered.

I stood in the doorway and noticed Chris pretend to shake with fear as he pranced around, spinning in place, "Well I hear the music, close my eyes, feel the rhythm…wrap around, take a hold of my heart…"

"I'm going to have Johnny replace you if you don't stop with this Flashdance shit!"

Chris clicked his tongue, "Someone is in a foul mood…" Chris did a leap towards where I was positioned by the door and did a train-like motion backwards. He knelt in front of Justin's bed and continued to sing, "…what a feeling…feels believing…I can't have it all, now I'm dancing for my life…take your passion…and make it happen…if you just come alive, you can dance right through your life…"

Justin pelted Chris with a sneaker. Chris frowned, "Adidas? Is that the best you got?"

I heard Justin mumble, "Don't tempt me."

Chris jumped up and pointed at Justin, "What was that? You want me to keep going?"

"I'm sorry alright! You don't dress like a bad eighties dancer. It was a poorly executed joke."

Chris ran in place and said, "All your jokes are poorly executed, my pathetic amigo. And I'm afraid it's too late. I've been possessed by Jennifer Beals and now I have to…I have to…I'm fighting it, Justin, but it's too strong…I need…" Chris paused, clutching his chest and started to shake his arms and wiggle his fingers, "I'm a dancer!"

"KNOCK IT OFF!"

I giggled into my hand. I didn't want to interrupt the show. This was highly entertaining and could provide plenty of blackmail material in the future. Chris glanced in my direction. He winked and started to spin around the room. He kicked his leg into the air and sang out, "Now I hear the music…close my eyes, I am rhythm…in a flash, it takes hold of my heart…what a feeling…feels believing…I can't have it all, now I'm dancing for my life…take your passion…and make it happen…I've just come alive, now I'm dancing through my life…"

I covered my eyes and muffled my laughter in the sleeves of my jacket. I noticed Justin move around to the other side of the bed. He didn't even look in my direction. He was lost in a staring match with Chris. Chris smiled like he had no idea why Justin was frustrated and Justin yelled, "Would you go away? Just once do what I ask."

"I'm trying to cheer you up."

"Well stop…" Justin took a seat on the edge of the bed, arms crossed like he was some substitute teacher stuck with the problem kids. He snapped, "And where the hell is Laney?"

I folded my arms, mimicking Justin's posture, and remained quiet in the doorframe. Chris glanced at me and smirked, "Maybe she was made a better offer?"

"Uh-huh…shut up!"

Chris smiled at me and said, "I think I saw her Justin. Oh wait…she went into Lance's room. Couldn't be Laney. I mean, it's not like Laney would abandon you for Lance-although, I like the sound of them as a couple. Lance and Laney. Laney and Lance-it has a nice ring to it. On second thought, I really think that was Laney that disappeared into Lance's room and--"

"She WHAT?" Justin moved over to the door. He saw me standing there with a capricious expression. He scowled, "How long have you been standing there?"

"I was waiting for Chris' encore."

Chris beamed. He bowed and said, "Thanks Laney. At least someone appreciates my tremendous talent."

Justin pushed Chris, "Is that what you're calling it?"

Chris clutched his chest, "Wound me. It doesn't matter. Laney loves me."

"Please boy! Laney Jane is completely devoted to me. She's beat up people on my behalf before. I suggest you leave before I sick her on your ass."

I smirked, "I'm best friends with an imbecile."

Justin took that as compliment and pointed at me, "See…completely devoted."

I entered the room and dropped my bag on Justin's bed. I fell back on to the mattress and watched Justin herd Chris out into the hall. He slammed the door shut and turned to face me. His facial features went from annoyed to upset within moments. He moved over in front of me and complained, "What took you so long?"

I rolled my eyes and yawned, "I don't have a limo driver at my beckoning, Justin. So sorry."

"Whatever, Laney. I had it much worse than you did this morning. I got poured on, harassed by fans, and some guy drove by and threw a beer can at my head. Why is it that when it's nice out there are cabs everywhere, but the minute it rains, every taxi is off duty?"

I shrugged, "It's one of the great mysteries of life. It's right up there with why are we here and why does Charo exist."

Justin smiled weakly, but quickly looked away. Someone was going to pay for letting him watch soap operas before I could get here. He was completely absorbed in his pitiful plight. "I know why I'm here. To lose love. To mess up my life horrifically and die all alone," Justin answered lowly. He jumped on the bed next to me and laid down, covering his eyes with a pillow.

"J, I think you're overreacting."

"You weren't dumped."

"What happened?"

Justin tossed the pillow aside. He sighed exaggeratedly, "I don't want to talk about it. I want to forget Britney exists."

I went to turn on the television and Justin pulled the remote out of my hands. He explained, "Do you ever pay attention at the movies? The dumpee inevitably turns on the television or radio only to be reminded of his recent loss."

"So I'll turn on the television and Britney's face will be on it? You're demented."

Justin shook his head, "Nope. I'm right about this. I'll turn on the television, which will inexplicably be tuned to MTV, and it will be Britney's 'From the Bottom of My Broken Heart' video. Her big doe-eyes will seer into my soul and I'll wish I was dead. Do you want me to jump out the window? Would you be able to live with the guilt? It would be all your fault."

"Oh God. You're worse off than I thought. Do I need to pull out the Reba McEntire and let you weep into my arms?"

"Don't be a bitch."

I punched him in the arm, "And don't think that I'll let you get away with being a bastard because you're suffering from a woe-is-me disposition."

"And to think I called you for support."

I grabbed the remote and turned it on. I made sure it went right to the Cablevision station and I flipped through the choices. I said, "You're driving me nuts. We need to do something…immediately…before I have to construct plausible excuses for how you fell off the balcony."

Justin scowled before suggesting, "Let's go see a movie."

"There are fans on the elevators and standing outside the building, J. Do you think it's wise?"

"The benefit of the Marquis is that there is a back door into one of the underground parking lots. Lonnie can have a driver ready to pick us up and drop us off at the movie theater. Think about it. When was the last time we got extra large popcorn, some sweetarts, and sodas the size of our heads?"

I observed the excited look on his face and shook my head, "To think girls go out of their way to woo you with poems and branding your name on their skin, and all it takes is a box of sweetarts."

"Yeah, I'm cheap," Justin replied carelessly. He pulled me off the bed and said, "Let's get out of here before I go insane."

"J, you've been insane for a long time."

"I want to see Final Destination," Justin stopped abruptly. He turned to face me, "I promised Lance I'd see that with him though. Okay if he comes along?"

"I don't care."

"Well, I asked because last time I brought a friend to the movies you chewed me out for an hour."

"That was different. It was some guy I had never met before who thought that Elvis Costello was Abbott's cohort in those 'gnarly black and white films'," I clarified. I expected Justin to counter with some sort of remark, but he confused me. He pulled me into a hug. He didn't say anything; he held onto me like we had survived some gruesome ordeal.

He whispered, "Thank you, Laney Jane. Thank you."

I pulled back, my face a guise of befuddlement, and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Not sure yet, but I'm glad you're here."

I shrugged, "Occasionally, I forget that you annoy me and provide support to your over-the-top demeanor."

"I'll go get Lance and we can head out of here. This is all I need-a movie with my best friends. It'll help me get my head clear."

"Are you going to explain what happened with Britney?"

"Does it matter?"

"J, don't be stupid."

He semi-shrugged, like he had unexpectedly lost all upper-muscular control and was limp, and he said, "I'm serious. She's made up her mind. She won't listen to me and maybe the best way to get her back is to prove her wrong."

I motioned over my head and replied, "No idea what you're talking about."

"Good because it's embarrassing and completely untrue."

His face reflected wounded pride and confusion. I partly wondered if this was a problem that I really didn't want to know about. But, being me, my mind immediately went right to the gutter. My eyes widened and I stared at him. I felt my face flush and I gulped, "Embarrassing?"

Justin's eyes diverted away from me. I felt my mouth drop without permission and he asked, "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I-uh…keep…nevermind."

"Look, I promise you that what Britney accused me of is completely wrong and she knows it. She's acting crazy."

I would've laughed if it were anyone but Justin, the guy I'd known since we were little and had discovered R rated movies with. I mean I knew we were both adults now and that he had done very adult things…but really? This wasn't something I wanted to think about. It could cause permanent mental scarring. I replied quickly, "I'll take your word on it."

"Good because we both know that while you're important to me-"

I covered my eyes and shrieked, "Oh ew. You talk about me while…EW!"

"What the hell are you-" Justin's cheeks turned a few different shades of crimson and he snort laughed, "Oh my God. Laney Jane, you're a pervert!"

I gasped, "I'm the pervert. You're the one afraid to tell me why you broke up with Britney and her unsubstantiated accusations…and then you bring me up. What else am I supposed to think?"

"Not that, you dirty girl!" Justin replied. He fell on his knees and started to laugh. No, not a laugh, but these obnoxiously strident chortles. He pounded his fists on the ground and I glared down at him. I really detested him sometimes. Justin wiped the tears from his eyes and replied, "Oh that was great. Fucking priceless. I love you, Laney. You-"

He stopped abruptly and I momentarily wondered if my evil thoughts had worked and he was choking on his own words. His face paled and he quickly went on, "Well, I mean, you're my best friend. I definitely promise you that you're wrong and that I'm quite…let's not talk about sex and stuff. It's too weird. But my problems with Britney were not of that nature and trust me when I say you never came-bad choice of words…your name never entered conversation at moments like those."

"I'm glad you're getting a good laugh at my expense."

Justin raised his arms in self-defense, "Laney Jane, you're the one who went where you did with this. I'm the moral one in our friendship."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah right."

Justin put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Once I figure some stuff out in my head, Laney, I'll let you in on what went down with Brit. I need some time to process it first."

"That worries me."

"You pick the strangest times to actually worry about me."

"I pick the perfect times. You're like a bipolar nutcase right now, J."

"Can we see the movie? Or would you prefer to help me write really bad poetry about dogs and ex-girlfriends?"

"Final Destination it is!" I said, leading him out of his room. I made my way down the hall while Justin went to get Lance. I turned to glance back at him and caught him staring at me with a strange look. Not strange in a confused way…but strange in…I was once again reading too much into things. Justin was going through a rough time and I had just made an ass of myself. There was no need for a repeat performance.

I turned to face the elevators, waiting for Justin and Lance to join me. I noticed the girls from my elevator ride earlier. They were hiding by the ice machine and I was tempted to scare them. I decided to take the higher road (how proverbially profound of me) and chose to ignore them. For once in my life, I'd pretend that Justin's strange breed of zealots didn't exist. I'd put on the happy face. It didn't last though. My mind kept wandering back to Justin. Even though things were getting back to normal-normal for us-I couldn't shake the awkward stares and Justin's sudden muteness. I also hoped what he had said last night still applied. He had to try to get along with Spencer.

He had to because I was going to make him like Spencer O'Grady if it killed me. It was important. It was girly, stupid, complete lunacy, and definitely out of character, but I had this bizarre notion that Spencer was going to play an integral role in my life. It was as if somehow the time I spent with him would be one of those life-defining moments that when I was eighty I looked back on with a whimsical flurry of emotions.

God, I was in trouble. I was starting to sound like Justin.

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Chapter Ten

nsync stories