Chapter Four

Justin and I love the "IF" game. It gives us something to do when we're bored or feeling silly. The games always start out rather calm with easy questions like "If you could only keep one of your senses which would it be?" or my personal favorite, "If you could have an elegant dinner with one fictitious character, who would it be?" However, by the end of one of our games, we're getting into questions like, "If you could have one night with Matt Damon but had to make out with your mom once a week, would you do it?"

Once again, I feel the need to point out that when Justin and I are together we are often juvenile and stupid. We seem to relapse to a mental age of seven in each other's presence. It's one of the things I like about our relationship. We both have so much pressure on us for different reasons. It's nice to forget about it all temporarily and laugh.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, there used to be one question that I could never really answer. "If you had to choose one thing about someone close to you that angered you and you could get rid of, what would it be?" I mean, there are things that anger me about the people I care about and I'm sure they could say the same about me, but albeit cheesy, it makes a person who they are. If you take their flaws away, there is a chance the person isn't half as entertaining as he used to be. So I always avoided answering that question. Justin, of course, took this to mean that he was perfect and could do no wrong in my eyes.

Hardly.

Justin pushes and pushes and pushes. He harps on things until I want to throw him out a window. It's like he purposefully eggs me on with blustery antics to see how far his needling can go before I become furious. And god forbid if I choose something not to his liking. There has never been a better sulker in the world than Justin Timberlake. He could market his sulking to the spoiled brat faction of the population. Suffer from no delusions. Justin has many faults.

It wasn't until the end of our Hawaii trip, however, that I realized how annoying he could be about things.

"Hey Laney!" Lance called out as he stepped out of his dressing room. He jogged up to me and said, "Just the person I was looking for."

Have you ever had one of those moments where you know someone is approaching you, but it's completely weird and something that usually doesn't happen? My mind was panicking, trying to comprehend why Lance was looking for me. Lance and I had a casual relationship. I knew him because of Justin and vice versa, but we never really spent time together. It had to be something big if he was seeking me out. Right? I stuttered, "Hi Lance."

"I hear you were dragged shopping not once but twice today."

I rolled my eyes, "If those two ever get married, I pity their children."

Lance chuckled and looked at me for a minute. Again, it was a bit strange. I stared at him curiously, "Are you okay, Lance?"

"Yeah. I was wondering what you were doing tonight."

Suddenly, an epiphany hit me. I crossed my arms, "Somebody needs to slap him. Somebody needs to bang that head of his against a wall."

Lance patted my arm in understanding, "He's a pest, but he means well."

"Don't worry, Lance. You're off the hook. I'll refuse to go tonight on principle."

Lance leaned in conspiratorially and said, "Where's the fun in that? I have no one to go with and I'd rather avoid Joey trying to find me the first warm body available. Not to mention, we can have fun messing with Justin's head if ya want to."

I smiled, "You're a man after my own heart, Lance."

"How about I stop by your room after I shower tonight and we can meet up with everyone at the club?"

Justin, who had probably been eavesdropping, made his presence known. He walked by and interrupted, "At the club? Laney, does that mean you're going?"

I fought hard not to stick out my tongue at the imbecile. The guy couldn't hide his grin and he seemed to think I was too stupid to figure it out. I folded my arms and replied, "Well, Lance promised to keep me from having to listen to your Ode to Michael Jackson on the plane trip home tomorrow."

"It used to make you laugh," Justin whined.

"I also used to read Sweet Valley High. Does that sound like the voice of reason to you?" I countered.

Justin's shoulders slumped forward and he stepped closer, "Like you're so much better now. Do you want me to tell everyone about how you play 'Shimmer' by Fuel and dance around like a Vegas Showgirl?"

"Speaking of Showgirls..."

"Melanie Jane, I'm ending this conversation."

"You're right. No one deserves that type of mental scarring."

Lance spoke up, "Actually, I think it would be--"

"Shut up, Lance," Justin snapped. His eyes locked on mine and he repeated, "We're ending this conversation, Laney Jane."

"Well, I could tell them about your love for Kelly Kapowski on Saved By the Bell," I turned to Lance and asked, "Did you know that Justin can quote almost every episode she was in and he used to sleep with a Tigerbeat pin-up of her under his pillow?"

Justin's eyes widened, "You're dead to me, Laney."

"Does that mean I don't have to go tonight? Just when Lance and I had major plans for fun. Darn."

"Oh is that right?"

"I think I'll go find Chris and Joey," Lance replied.

Neither Justin nor I acknowledged him, caught up in a test of wills with each other. I smirked, "You're the one who suggested Lance take me tonight."

"I did no such thing."

"Liar."

"Okay, I might have mentioned--"

"Manipulative little--"

Justin threw his hand over my mouth, "There are children wandering around back here. Try to control yourself, potty mouth."

I pulled free of his grasp and questioned, "Why must you do things to annoy me?"

"That's what friends are for?" he offered. He smiled sheepishly and added, "Quick. Name all the types of punctuation utilized in writing."

"You're not getting out of this one, TimberSNAKE."

He leaned in and made the challenging inflection in his voice practically ooze out, "Don't you know?"

I rolled my eyes, "Let's see...period, question mark, exclamation point, colon, semi-colon, hyphen, apostrophe, ellipses, quotes, parentheses, dash--"

"I get it, Laney."

"You asked."

"I wish I hadn't."

"Well, I wish you had left well enough alone. We don't always get what we want and now Lance thinks I'm some pity case that needs attention."

"You're being a baby, Laney Jane," Justin took my hand and led me around the corner where no one was around. Justin leaned against the wall and placed his hands in his pockets. The guy watched one too many James Dean flicks. He was trying to pull off cool and he was failing miserably. The aloof thing didn't work for him. He smiled cautiously--that half-smile when you're fearful for your life--and said, "You said you didn't want to sit there all night. I happened to know that Lance was going to be flying solo and I thought I could help my two good friends out by--"

"Playing matchmaker?"

"What? NO," Justin lowered his voice immediately, "I want you there with us tonight and this way you have no excuses not to come. I'm not trying to get you and Lance together."

"Good because that would be..."

"A phenomenally bad idea on my part," Justin finished. He pulled at his shirt, started to chew on the collar, and complained in a muffled voice, "It's too damn hot to be wearing this outfit."

I pulled his collar away from his mouth and replied, "You're going to mess up your costume."

"This is the last time I ever have to wear these clothes. We're going high style next tour...so you're coming tonight?"

"Yes, but don't think you can get away with this, Justin. I'll get you back one day."

"I'm claiming a dance right now. You, me, and the Electric Slide..."

"Do I look like a gay man circa 1979?"

Justin surprised me by slapping my back, "Whatever works, Laney Jane. Remember that. Whatever works. Hey, do you want to come up on stage for 'For the Girl'? I asked Britney, but she seems to think it would cause a riot."

I burst out into a fit of giggles and Justin stared at me. He nodded to someone down the hall and motioned that I was crazy. I bent forward and finally managed, "Oh God. That would be interesting. I could watch the chair molestation up close and personal."

"Is that a yes? I can work it that you're right in front of yours truly."

"Oh yuck."

"You're great for the ego, Laney."

"Reminds me of the line in Grease."

"Hopelessly devoted to you?" Justin guessed with a wink.

"No. Elvis, Elvis, let me be...keep that pelvis far from me..." I sang before I burst out laughing again.

"Wonderful. I have to go meet the other guys. See ya tonight, Laney."

"Later," I said with a wave as he walked in the other direction. Once he was gone, it hit me. The boy was getting exactly what he wanted. I was going to the club. Why was it that I had a serious weakness where that boy was concerned? Not like, "ooh...ah...it's Justin," but rather, "I'll do it just to shut him up." I realized that couldn't be healthy.

Then again, not much about our relationship seemed too healthy by normal standards anymore. That was the real problem.

Problem? What's so great about normal anyway? I don't see the great appeal in being like everyone else. Besides, in my opinion, Laney Jane is an original. I've met a lot of girls and I've yet to stumble upon one that is anything like Laney. So when she babbles on and on about wanting to be normal and regular, I don't get it. It makes no damn sense. She's the furthest thing from normal that I've ever met.

Gee, and Justin claims that I'm a great ego booster. What young woman doesn't want to hear that she's the furthest thing from normal? I maintain that there is a subtle difference between normal and regular. I don't care so much about the normal, but regular is essential to me.

And Laney was important to me--not in a General Hospital sorta way where I couldn't live without her, but stimulating and…She's just not normal, okay? She loves the Monkees (She's been known to randomly burst out in dance as she sang "Cuddly Toy") and Incubus. She swears she's anti-romance, but put on a Cary Grant or Rock Hudson movie and the girl turns to mush. She comes across as quiet and shy, but really isn't. Definitely not regular.

I know it's my own fault. I thought that having Lance keep her company would solve all our problems. I realize that I was selfish and completely oblivious, but I really couldn't see the problems that Laney saw. I could only see the distance and the only thing I could think to do was pull her closer. It messed up my head. I swear it did. It made me slightly crazy and suddenly, I was confused out the wazoo. I hate being confused. I hate not understanding the situations that I'm stuck in.

I glanced over at the table as I continued to move to the beat of the music. Britney turned my face back to her. She shook her head and leaned in, "Would you stop it?"

"I'm making sure she's having a good time. Does she look miserable?"

"Justin, she told me that you were driving her crazy and now I understand what she's talking about. Leave her alone," Britney ordered.

The song ended and I turned to walk off the dance floor. I waited for Britney to follow and asked quietly, "What do you mean she said I was driving her crazy?"

Britney rolled her eyes as she adjusted the strap on her dress, "Gee, could it have anything to do with this bizarre need you have to keep the girl within a hundred yards of you the whole trip? What is going on with you? You've never been the clingy type."

I shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about. Laney is one of my good friends. I like having her around. Is there something wrong with that?"

Britney leaned over the bar and ordered a drink. She looked at me and smiled sympathetically, "Remember Renee?"

"The bitch that sold her story about being Britney Spear's confidante to the tabloids?"

"Yes."

I took a seat on one of the barstools and asked, "Are you about to compare Renee and Laney, Brit? I really don't want to hear this."

"I'm not. Laney is very cool. You know that I like her and she wouldn't do something like that to you, J--"

"So why bring it up?"

"Because Renee and I were growing apart before the whole fiasco even happened. She was doing regular high school stuff like Homecoming and college interviews. I didn't understand the importance of it to her and she didn't get why performing at the VMA's was more stressful than any other performance."

My eyes reflexively fell on where Laney and Lance were laughing about something. I shook my head and asserted, "Laney and I are different."

"Well, you won't be if you keep treating her like she's at your disposal whenever you need. She has her own life, J."

"I know that," I snapped. I took a sip of her drink and noticed a group of girls pointing over at me and then pointing over to where Lance and Laney were sitting. I groaned, "Wonderful. It's yet another group of girls. I nearly slugged those two girls who cornered you and Laney."

Britney kissed my cheek, "We can take care of ourselves, but it's nice to know you care."

"I know you've got a tough skin, but Laney takes that stuff seriously. They tell her she's not good enough to be my friend, when they know nothing about her and me, and then she starts to believe it."

"I don't think that's the problem, J."

"Laney wouldn't let me visit her at school. I had to practically threaten to kidnap her to get her to come on this trip, and ten to one when we get home, she's going to fall back into her little game of ignoring me."

"Did you ever think about why she's doing that?"

"Because of those girls right there. That's the problem," I said, waving my hand in the girls' general direction. I saw them giggle and wave back. I turned my back to them and mumbled, "I think I'm too dependent on my friendship with Laney."

I felt Britney's arm go over my shoulder and I sat there for a minute not moving, barely breathing. I wasn't sure what I was doing anymore or why. Normally, I was one of those people who had reasons upon reasons for everything I did. Everyone always assumed I acted impulsively, but they were wrong. I always had a solid reasoning behind any of my actions--at least solid to me. This was different however. I was worried about something that I didn't quite get. I looked at Britney and asked, "What do you mean you don't think that's the problem? What is the problem?"

"Do you ever think that maybe Laney wants what we have?"

"Huh?"

"A boyfriend, dumbass."

I peeked over at Laney and focused back on Britney. I repeated, "Huh?"

"A guy to spend time with. Someone to share things with that she doesn't feel comfortable telling you..."

"There's nothing Laney can't tell me and vice versa."

"You're being naive, Justin."

"I am not."

Britney swiveled my chair around so that I was facing Laney's table. "Look at her with Lance. Maybe she's sick of you being the only guy in her life," Britney said. It wasn't exactly the words that hit me, but the confidence with which she said them.

"You think?"

Britney shrugged, "It wouldn't be completely off-the-wall. Maybe she thinks you keep her from having a normal boyfriend...or maybe there is someone she likes at school."

"She would tell me if there was someone. She always does."

"I'm not talking about liking Matt Damon or Kevin Spacey, or thinking that the lead singer of Stroke Nine is hot. I'm talking about a guy in her classes or--"

"Laney would tell me, Brit."

"Well, there might not necessarily be a guy at the moment. What if it's just the potential of having one? I spent some time with Laney today and she seemed lonely and distracted. Maybe if she had someone else to turn to, you and her could go back to normal...although I've been watching the two of you since you were twelve years old and your relationship has always been odd."

I sighed. Part of what Britney was saying made some sense. Laney rarely ventured into the dating arena. She also never really talked about boyfriends or potential boyfriends with me. It made sense, but I refused to accept it. I replied, "I don't think that's it."

"Just consider it, okay?"

I nodded, "I'm going to check on her. Make sure she's not telling any humiliating stories to Lance that I'd have to kill her for."

Britney squeezed my arm, which freaked me out. It wasn't the motion itself, but why she was offering me encouragement. Was I completely blind to some problem between Laney and myself that was obvious to everyone else? Was I walking into some sort of situation where I needed that arm squeeze?

And the drilling started again.

I made my way across the dance floor and strained my ears to hear Laney, "No way! That's not fair!"

Lance leaned in and replied, "You suggested we try it. So it's only right that you go first."

She folded her arms, sipped on her drink, and stood up. She looked helplessly at Lance for a minute. Lance smiled banefully and added, "Well, you did suggest it."

Laney shook her head and said, "Fine. How humiliating to be outwitted by a guy in a boyband!"

Lance chuckled as Laney walked off. He noticed me and called out, "Hey."

I took a seat and followed his gaze to where Laney was talking to a bouncer. I asked, "What's going on?"

"We're playing truth or dare, without the truth option. I dared her to go tell that bouncer that she has a thing for bald men and to ask if she could rub his chrome dome for good luck," Lance chuckled. When I didn't laugh, he shrugged, "Guess you had to be here."

I shot him a confused look, "This is Laney we're talking about? My shy, little Laney?"

Lance held up his hand as not to interrupt him and he nearly choked on his drink when Laney rubbed the guy's head. I knew my mouth dropped and then Lance nudged my side when the bouncer hugged her. He remarked, "Why don't I ever have a camera when I need one?"

"What is going on with you two? Are you drunk? I ask you to do one thing, Lance. I ask you to watch out for Laney and what do you do? You get her plastered?"

I eyed the empty bottle on the table for effect and Lance laughed, "We're not drunk, St. Justin...yet." When he met my intense glare, he added, "We're trying to have fun. What's your problem?"

Before I could reply, Laney fell into her chair and smiled triumphantly. Her hands raised above her head in victory. She glanced at me and smiled, before focusing on Lance, "Now, it's your turn, Lance."

Lance took another sip of his drink and leaned in across the table, "Go for it."

Laney turned to point to the female bartender working down by a small group of young women. She smirked, "I want you to go order a drink from that woman bartender--"

"She's hot. That works for me..." Lance began.

I couldn't hide my grin. Poor Lance. He was about to find out how humiliating a friendship with Laney Jane could be. The girl had a gift for debauchery and I must say, when it wasn't aimed at me, it was actually fun to watch.

"AND order a Shirley Temple."

"What?" Lance asked.

"Nice and loud so that all those rabid Lance fans get to hear that their beloved drinks Shirley Temples."

I started to laugh, smacking Laney's hand away from her glass, as Lance stood up and mumbled, "This is so embarrassing."

Laney shrugged, "Don't even go there. I had to rub a bald men's head and then he slipped me his phone number."

"You're a hot man magnet, Laney," I commented.

Lance walked over to the bar and both of us watched. I noticed Laney sip her drink and I demanded, "Stop that."

"What are you? My dad?"

"Melanie Jane Stanton, this isn't even a beer. You're drinking Jack Daniels--" I stopped when I saw the expression on her face. I shook my head, "Fine. When you're hung over on our LONG flight home, don't look to me for pity."

"I won't," Laney strained her ears to listen to Lance and we heard the large group of girls giggle.

Lance stormed back over to the table and put the Shirley Temple down, "Not only was that a mortifying experience, but one Shirley Temple cost five bucks. Highway robbery."

I picked the cherry out of his Shirley Temple and sucked on it. I dumped the stem in the ashtray and, between chews, replied, "Did he say 'highway robbery' with a straight face?"

"He did."

"I think it's Justin's turn," Lance replied.

"What? I'm not involved in this game of yours. Leave me out of it."

"Baby," Lance mocked.

"Chicken," Laney joined in.

I crossed my arms and huffed, "I'm not playing."

"Fine...Laney, I dare you to...see the guy dancing by himself way off beat in the corner?"

"Yes?"

"I want you to go up to him, tell him you've yet to find the perfect souvenir on this trip, and ask for that Hawaiian shirt he's sporting."

Laney rolled her eyes and I remarked, "Amateur."

She stood up and said, "Okay. I got it covered."

Once she was gone, I focused on Lance. I snapped, "I wish you wouldn't get her drunk, Lance."

"Laney is a big girl, Justin. I wasn't forcing the alcohol down her throat with a funnel...besides a guy who makes her come out has no room to complain about how much she drinks."

"You're both underage."

Lance shot me a get-real look and commented, "Because that often stops you. What is up with you tonight?"

"Nothing...hey, do you think Laney and I are okay?"

"Mentally? No. I always wondered why the two of you were friends because she's always been so quiet when I'm around. Now I realize it was because she was overwhelmed with love for me," Lance replied with a drunken leer.

I hit Lance in the arm, "Don't think about it, Lance. I don't want two of my best friends hooking up."

Lance shrugged, "I don't think I'm Laney's type after all anyway."

"And what does that mean? Is there someone here she likes? She didn't mention it to me and Brit said she was acting..."

"Justin, what are you going on about?" Lance asked.

I placed my head on the table and moaned, "I don't know. I'm so confused."

"About?"

"Laney. Everything was fine earlier. At least, I thought everything was fine, but Britney gets the impression that Laney needs other guys in her life."

"She probably does, or maybe you need to prepare yourself better for when you have to share her."

"What does that mean?" I studied Lance's face and he shrugged. The stupid idiot that I had considered a good friend shrugged at me. I noticed Laney walking back over to the table and muttered, "Nevermind."

Laney took a seat at the table and showed off her newly acquired red Hawaiian shirt. It hung off her loosely and she said, "I look like little orphan Annie...with bad taste."

Lance chuckled as he swirled the last of his drink around and gulped it down, "Your turn. Make it good."

"I want you to go up to your body guard and sing to him--"

"Oh that's original."

"I'm not done yet. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, Lance, is to sing, 'If you'd be my bodyguard, I would be your long lost pal...I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me you can call me Al' and then proceed to explain that Lonnie's name is now Betty. That is the only way that you will refer to him."

I laughed and Lance looked at me, "You could have warned me about the vicious streak. Whenever we talked she was polite and slightly strange, but she always seemed so sweet--"

"Well, I'm insulted. Sweet? I look sweet?" Laney said.

I shrugged, "Hey, it's what makes her Melanie Jane."

Lance stood up and said, "Well, I'm never one to ignore a dare."

I watched Laney's eyes follow him and I pulled her chair closer to get her attention. I asked, "So you're having fun? Those girls didn't ruin the night for you?"

"Nah...then again, this Jack and Coke that Lance ordered me seems to be helping," she said with a giggle.

I rolled my eyes, "I don't think you need to be drinking, Laney."

"Not this again. I thought it was dropped."

"It is...it doesn't mean I condone it," I replied with a toothy grin.

"First off, I've been nursing the same drink all damn night. Now Lance is going to have quite the hangover tomorrow...Second, you're the last one to talk about drinking. Need I remind you of the case of beer you polished off on your own at your eighteenth birthday party."

"That's different."

"How?"

"It just is," I explained. I pushed her glass away from her and asked, "You and Lance hit it off, huh?"

"He's better company than the random teenage girl that wants to know all about you guys. So yeah. I guess..." Laney's voice trailed off and she stood up. She tugged my arm until I was standing and laughed into my chest. I laughed too when I noticed the strange look on Lonnie's face and then saw Lonnie pick Lance up and toss him over his shoulder.

Laney's mouth gaped open and she asked, "Did I get him in trouble?"

Lonnie carried Lance out the door and I replied, "I think you got him flagged, Laney. Looks like Lance's night is over."

"Well, that's not fair. Spoil my fun," She started to move forwards, "I guess I should go with them."

I pulled her back, "Why?"

"Because I don't want to sit here by myself."

"I'll keep you company."

"And what about your girlfriend?"

I moved Laney so that she could see where Britney and Joey were dancing to Gloria Gaynor. I leaned in, "I've been replaced."

"I'm sure there are plenty of little zealots that are willing to step in."

"Very funny, Laney Jane. I see now that you're a mean drunk."

"I'm not drunk. One drink hardly equates to a loss of sobriety."

"Are you going to battle linguistics with me?"

"No. I think I'm going to walk down to the beach and enjoy a few minutes of quiet."

"I'll keep you company."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, that's quiet...Whatever."

We walked out the door and I followed behind Laney. She took a seat on a bench on the edge of the sand and took a deep breath. As she let it out, there was a hum of pleasure that I didn't miss. I sat down next to her and said, "So you had fun. I told you that you would."

"It was okay. Lance was fun to hang out with. He needs to learn how to come up with better dares though. He sucks," Laney replied, removing the oversized Hawaiian shirt. She held it up and continued, "You've been known to wear ugly clothes. Consider this a gift from me to you."

"Nice, Laney." Britney's words came back to me and I asked, "Do you wish you had more of that?"

"What?"

"Do you wish that...ya know...that like what happened with Lance happened more often?"

"That I was dared to fondle big, bald men?"

"No moron."

"Justin, I've had a bit to drink and your babble doesn't really make any sense."

"It's like that movie...shit..." I groaned when I realized that I had become inarticulate at the most inopportune time. I kicked the sand under my feet and finally asked, "Laney, do I keep you from having a boyfriend?"

She stared at me for a minute and then shook her head, "You're insane."

"It's a fair question."

"Why would you keep me from having a boyfriend?"

"I don't know, but do I?"

"No. Have you seen the guys that hit on me? Socially retarded is a nice way to classify them."

"Because I don't want you to end up resenting me and have it ruin our friendship."

"I'm not sure I follow the correlation but rest assured that you don't keep me from having a boyfriend."

"Oh my god. Justin? Justin, hi!"

Laney rolled her eyes as two girls approached us on the beach. I glanced back and saw Todd ready to move in if the girls harassed me. The first girl stared at Laney and myself while the other girl jumped up and down, "I can't believe it's really you. Hi!"

"Hello," I replied hesitantly.

"Can we get a picture?"

"Um...yeah sure...but could you please lower your voice? I don't really want to draw attention to myself right now."

"Okay, no problem," the girl replied in a whisper.

I noticed Laney's expression and kicked her leg. The first girl surprised me by pulling me to her in a hug. I pulled back and the other girl linked her arm around mine. I shot Laney a look and she bit her lip to keep from laughing. It was nice to know Laney worried about my safety. I pried free and said, "So are you girls ready for that picture?"

The girl tossed the camera at Laney. Laney glared at the girl, "What am I? Photo bitch?"

"Laney Jane, could you please take the picture?" I replied sternly.

She stood up, clicked the button, and handed the girl the camera. When the girls turned to walk off without saying anything, Laney called out, "You're welcome. Not a problem. Glad I could help you out!"

I watched her in amusement, "You are always so kind."

"Hey, they're the ones that need to be hit over the head with a Miss Manners booklet. Not only did they toss their camera at my feet, but then they walked off giggling about feeling you up without a word."

"There was no groping, thank you very much."

Laney sighed, "I don't know how you deal with it all the time. You can't even sit by the beach and enjoy the moment."

"Of course I can."

"Not without interruptions.

"Sometimes I can."

"When?"

"If I come early in the morning or--it's not that bad."

"I'm just saying I wouldn't want to deal with it."

"Laney Jane, you know that I try to keep my family and you out of everything, but there are people who will always speculate about you."

"I know."

"You're my friend and I don't want to lose you."

Laney punched me in the arm, "Could you try to avoid turning this into some soap opera, Justin? Don't want to lose me? My god."

"It's true though," I whined. I looked at Laney for a minute and, I swear it had to be the weird Hawaiian air or something because I found myself studying her appearance--not studying, but scrutinizing over every detail. I've never really paid attention to that stuff when it came to Laney, especially since most of her wardrobe consisted of jeans and cargo pants. I couldn't recall a time when I actually saw her in a skirt or dress. That evening though, she was wearing a dark black skirt with a red v-neck. She had her hair up in a twist, but there were long strands flowing with the evening breeze. The studs on her choker reflected in her eyes. I took her hands and spun her around, "Laney, you look good tonight."

"Heh?"

"You look good."

"Are you fishing for compliments? Was I supposed to notice your new shirt or something?"

"Why would I--I'm just..." my eyes lowered and my mouth dropped. I announced, "Laney Jane, you've got legs."

I watched her face turn red and she stared at me, "Have you been drinking?"

"Who's...is this one of Britney's outfits?"

"Do I look like I could fit into one of Britney's outfits? What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Can't a guy pay attention to his friend?"

"You're gawking and I don't get it. It's just a skirt set that Meredith bought me for Christmas...I told you to stop staring at me, weirdo," she demanded.

"Laney, I just never..." I stopped myself before I began to babble. I coughed, "You look good."

She folded her arms and asked, "Again, I'm obligated to ask. What is wrong with you? You're studying me like some serial killer about to attack."

"It was a compliment, Laney. I'll make sure to never offer you one again," I answered. I tried to keep my eyes from wandering over to her. I attempted to think about the weird, pink tint to the sand in Hawaii, but I was powerless. My eyes seemed to have a mind of their own and didn't seem to care that it was Laney, my buddy and cohort.

Laney punched me in the arm, "You really are a big baby...and what song is that? Tell me they aren't playing..." she turned to me and stated, "It sounds like we left in the nick of time, Justin. They're playing the Dirty Dancing soundtrack."

I raised my eyebrows, "Have something against Patrick Swayze?"

"Besides the fact that he made movies like Roadhouse and To Wong Foo? Not a thing...anyway, he's all Steph's. She has a huge poster of him over her bed where he's sporting a cheesy smile and the look-at-me-strut pose."

This was a job for Laney's buddy, not some ogling-eyed freak. I said, "You're a strange one, Laney Jane."

"This coming from the man who thought he was GI Joe until he was fourteen."

"Someone needs to staple your mouth shut." I heard a familiar melody echo into the night sky. I took Laney's hand and spun her around. I whispered, "Oh Sylvia..."

"Justin, please don't..."

I laughed and repeated loudly, "Oh Sylvia?"

She relented, "Yes Mickey?"

"How do you call your lover boy?"

"I don't," she noticed my face scrunch up and she gave in, "Come here lover boy."

"And if he doesn't answer?"

"I punch him in the face?"

"How violent. You really are a romantic."

"Justin, this is humiliating. Anyone could be listening and I think Todd is probably laughing his ass off at our expense."

"Humor me."

"I spend most of my life humoring you."

"Well, now the song is over..." I strained my ears to hear and I smiled at the familiar beats of "Do You Love me". I pulled Laney against my chest and said, "We never got our dance."

"Oh dear God. You're such a dork."

"Don't make me serenade you. I will. I'll draw a huge crowd too," I said playfully.

She kicked off her sandals, digging her bare feet into the sand, and said, "Fine. I'll dance with you, raving lunatic that you are."

"You broke my heart...cuz I couldn't dance...you didn't even want me around...but now I'm back...to let you know...I can really shake 'em down..."

I spun her around a few times and we danced like idiots under the moon. I could hear the snickering from Todd and I knew that there were probably some fans wandering around witnessing the spectacle that was Laney and I, but I didn't care at the moment. For the first time all night, things felt right.

As the song ended, I spun Laney around one last time. She lost her balance and knocked me over. I groaned as we hit the ground. She looked at me and started to laugh, "That was interesting. You should incorporate that move into your choreography."

I chuckled and stared at her for a minute. Okay, I was about to prove that Laney was really right about me. The movies had altered my thinking capabilities and turned me into a dramatic sap. I glanced at her--her eyes twinkling, wisps of hair cupping her face, and the way the corners of her mouth twitched upwards as she laughed--and was suddenly incapable of noticing anything else. It was like Charlie. When I was seven, my father's best friend, Charlie, came to visit. Charlie was missing a leg. I never really got the full story, but it fascinated me. I would stare and stare until my mother would whisper, "Stop it. It's rude, Justin."

Did I ever listen to my mother's orders? Nah, it only sparked my curiosity even more. I focused on the television or pretended to be eating, but my eyes always drifted back to where Charlie's leg should have been. I had to look. I had to look. I was like a piece of metal drawn to the magnet. I had no control over anything.

I was feeling eerily similar as we fumbled around on the sand. I yelled at myself. I silently pointed out that this was Laney Jane I was leering at. I shut my eyes. If I didn't look at her, everything would be fine.

Easier said then done.

I blinked and Laney was still smiling...the typical, crazy-Laney grin. I felt my own smile strengthen. My eyes fell victim to the expression on her face. Her nose was scrunched up as she laughed again and her vision was directed at me. Brown...very dark brown...clear and glossy and were there flecks of color in her eyes? I never saw that before...

Stop it, I hollered at myself. It was ridiculous. This was too much beer hitting me at once. My stepfather once told me to be careful about mixing alcohol with women. I was beginning to think he was right.

Of course, that meant that Laney was a woman.

I rolled out from underneath her. I noted that my movements were sluggish and slow--like I was purposely trying to maintain physical contact with Laney Jane. I looked down. I forced my chest to rise and fall in a more normal way. The dancing had made me sweaty and out of breath. I attempted to regain my temporary whatever and fixed all my energy on the seam of my pant leg. A thread was peeking through the fabric and my fingers pulled at it. I knew Laney was staring at me. I pretended not to acknowledge she was there. Out of sight, out of mind.

But it was Laney--not some overzealous fan with my name on her face that I was pretending not to notice--and I ended up babbling, "I think I should probably get back to the party. Britney is probably wondering what happened to me."

Laney nodded in understanding as she pushed her hair back out of her face, "I'm going to head back to my room. I figure I'll check on Lance and then go to bed."

"In separate rooms I hope."

Laney snapped her fingers, "Dammit. How did you know? I can't get anything past you, Justin."

"Yeah..." I caught myself staring at her legs and diverted my gaze to the tacky sign for the club. I went on, "Don't be surprised if Britney doesn't come back to your room tonight."

"Um...thanks for sharing?"

"I mean, Britney is perfect for me," I explained. I heard the words falling off my lips, but I couldn't stop them. I knew that I sounded asinine because I suddenly felt very foolish. Tongue-tied. I was unable to speak around Laney Jane and it was freaking me out.

"I'm happy for you."

"Happy. Britney and I are happy."

"Okay..." Laney paused and shot me a scrutinizing glance, "Justin, is everything alright?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because you're acting weird. Did I knock a few brain cells lose when we fell?"

I felt my face flushing--I couldn't believe my face was flushing--and replied, "I'm fine...sad that the vacation is over...yeah...that's it."

She shook her head, "I'll never understand what makes you so irresistible to women. Never going to get it."

"I'm not irresistible to you though."

"I'm smarter than the average girl. Besides, I've seen you practicing your best come-on lines in the mirror," Laney clutched her hand to her chest and grinned unabashedly. She leaned forward, like she was relaying a secret, and continued (loudly I might add), "Oh to be wooed by things like 'God took all the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes.' I can't speak for anyone else, but that's my dream."

I felt a bit better. Even when she didn't know it or realize that she was the cause of it, Laney was able to calm me down. I told her, "No, you fall for men who charm you with a thesaurus and--exactly what was Alan's allure?"

"He could quote Mallrats from start to finish. Quite impressive. It was too bad he kissed like a slobbering dog." Laney walked off ahead of me. She called out, "Have fun, loverboy."

"Kiss Lance goodnight for me," I said, making puckering noises. Normalcy was mine again. The other was a moment of temporary insanity.

Then Laney waved. She had a really fluid wave. Laney looked...Laney looked pretty. I was transfixed in place. I couldn't move as I processed exactly what I had thought. Sure, I had admitted she looked good, but looking good and looking pretty were very different.

Laney hollered, "Goodnight Justin."

I feebly tried to respond, "Night," but I just blinked. That was all I could do. I blinked at her, because, really, there were no words.

I watched her walk off until she was completely out of my sight and leaned against the wall of the building. Laney really did look pretty, but why had I noticed that? I never paid attention to that stuff where Laney was concerned. It's not like she had suddenly become pretty (not that she was ugly. I better clear that up right now or I'm going to get a beating.) or changed either. You always hear about guys who notice the ugly duckling when she becomes a swan. That would be somewhat understandable. Unfortunately, there was no excuse for my behavior.

Britney just freaked you out about everything...that's all it is, I told myself. Britney has you thinking Laney wants a boyfriend and it made you see her in a different light...you're making a big deal out of nothing. It's Laney. It's your bud, your pal.

I winced when I remembered the ticklish feel of Laney's hair against my neck and the awkwardness of her on top of me. I moaned, "Oh god. I'm going crazy."

"Hey crazy," Todd called out from a few feet away. I nodded in understanding. Todd was paid for his abilities to sense things and read people. It was true. I was crazy. "Everything okay?"

I nodded and he went on, "We need to get inside."

I looked at him for a minute and stood myself up. I almost asked Todd what he thought of the situation, but decided against it. After all, there was no situation. I was confused. I was caught up in a strange moment in a beautiful tropical setting. It could have happened to anyone. It could have happened with anyone too. Not to mention, Laney hadn't thought anything of it. Laney was completely unaffected.

Todd cleared a path for me through the club. I heard a few people whisper and call out to me, but I was a man on a mission. I needed to sober up (three beers had never affected me quite the way they had that night) and find my girlfriend. I noticed Britney sitting with Joey and a few of the girls from Innosense. I made my way over, pulled Britney up, and kissed her. I ignored the hoots and whispers. I smacked my lips together and said, "Hey."

She fell back against my arms, "Hi to you too, J."

"I missed you."

Everyone at the table laughed and Britney felt my forehead, "Are you sick or something?"

I pulled her out on the dance floor and said, "So I've been thinking..." I felt Britney's hand run through my hair as she pulled my forehead down towards hers. Now this was right. She was the person I was supposed to have the quickened pulse and the lightweight feeling with. I had been caught up in the twilight zone.

Britney smiled, "About what?"

"Maybe Laney does need a boyfriend."

"Oh no. When I said that, I didn't mean for you to make it your personal mission to find her a guy. I wanted to let you know that might--"

I cut her off, "Laney is way too picky for her own good. I definitely think this is something I should handle for her. Maybe you could help me?"

"J, I don't know--"

"Look. I want to make sure it's a guy that will treat her right and won't get all bent out of shape about my friendship with her. I figure if I handpick the guy myself it won't be a problem," I replied turning us in time to the music. My eyes drifted over to the guy that Laney had accosted and couldn't help but grin like an idiot, "Laney needs someone who knows how to handle her."

"Oh god. This is going to be a huge mistake."

"Brit, you're supposed to be the supportive girlfriend."

"I am and I will totally support you when this blows up in your face," she said, kissing my cheek. She giggled when her lipstick smeared my face and started to wipe it off.

I smiled. I was convinced that everything would be fine once I found Laney Jane the perfect guy. I mean, someone who was suddenly attracted to his best friend wouldn't try to find her a boyfriend would he? Nope. Not a chance. Ha! I had no strange feelings for Laney. Not a one. Besides, if Britney was right, it would take care of all the problems between Laney and myself too. I had tried everything I could think of and couldn't figure out any other reason Laney wouldn't want me around. I needed some hold, an ace in the hole, and maybe finding Laney's soulmate would help everyone out in the long run.

Only problem was...I didn't know Matt Damon and I had no idea how to set Laney up without her figuring it out.

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chapter five

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