Chapter Two
I'm convinced there is a reason that most celebrities only interact with other celebrities. You don't hear about Ben Affleck and John Doe-Smoe taking in a Celtics game and picking up chicks at a local bar. It simply isn't done. One could even say it's uncouth.
With that said, why is it so hard for people to believe that Justin and I were not meant to stay friends? What is so wrong with accepting reality? I mean, Justin learned his lesson as far as girlfriends went. Every time he tried to date a girl who wasn't in the business, it failed. The girls were too needy and Justin was never around. He always ended up letting them down and then he was a miserable waste of space for a week and a half. Finally, he started picking girls who were familiar with his schedule because they had similar lives. Everyone understood his reasoning and I thought, "Wow. He finally gets it."
I spoke too soon. He was unable to make the correlation between girlfriends and me. Justin couldn't see that the same reasons his relationships with those girls failed was the same reason that our friendship was destined for disaster. Regular people and celebrities don't mix. Oil and water. Marilyn Manson and Ricky Martin.
Melanie Jane Stanton and Justin Timberlake.
Let me get this out of the way right now. I did not go off to college and suddenly become irresistible to men. I didn't wake up with a yearning to be loved by everyone on my campus. I was not suddenly overcome with an incredible urge to be in the spotlight. I was exactly the same...a model of sameness.
I think Justin hoped that I would suddenly wake up with a flair for the adventurous. I'd become so secure in all that is Melanie Jane Stanton and learn to ignore the nuisance that is the public Justin Timberlake. It's not his fault. His blind optimism is actually one of his best traits, although a bit annoying at times.
And I tried. I tried to remind myself of all the good things--like late night discussions of Cameron Crowe movies, making tapes of the newest CDs we'd each bought (for a musician, Justin has possibly the worst taste in music if left to his own devices), and laughing at nothing. I went through every high and low in our history. It's that mental pros and cons list that we all make about everything. I would go through it all, but just because there are more pros than cons doesn't make it right. It doesn't make it practical. It doesn't make oil and water suddenly compatible.
Really nice.
Laney's ability to make me feel loved and appreciated is like no one else's. Oil and water? She should write for Hallmark with her talent for showing love.
I don't want everyone thinking that I spent the first four months she was away at school moping because Laney wasn't around. I mean, sure, her first semester of college, the fall of 1999, was what my Uncle would refer to as "shit run over twice." I was being sued by Transcon, facing the possibility of never making music as a member of Nsync again, dealing with nightmares where I ended up living in squalor while I licked the crumbs off my couch, and my friend wasn't around for any of it.
I had never needed Laney more in my life and she couldn't be there for me.
Yes, I was selfish. Yes, I knew that Laney was starting a new life and trying to adapt to a new world. Whatever. If I'm going to be honest, I didn't care about that. I cared that I was going through hell and one of the only bright spots in those few months was arguing movies with Laney Jane on the phone. It was a nice reminder that some things would never change...like the girl's horrible choice in films simply because of a love for certain actors.
I want you to understand that, had I asked, I know Laney would have flown home for a weekend or called me every five minutes to make sure I was okay. Despite Laney's fear of being seen as the clingy best friend, or her strange obsession with lessening her role in my life, she is loyal to her friends. Her way of showing her love is just a bit different than what most people are used to.
Laney is the most confusing person I have ever met. I've known her half my life and I get the way her mind works better than most people do, but the girl is still a mystery to me sometimes. She has these quirks: her need to burn the fortune from a fortune cookie after she reads it, her bizarre quest for further knowledge on every idiotic subject in the world, or how she doesn't care what most people think about her, but still tries to avoid being known as "friend of Justin Timberlake."
My mother once said, "Juju, you can never fully understand the complexities of a woman's mind."
My father once said, "Justin, women are crazy and you'll go crazy trying to understand them."
I like my father's take on the situation better and I try to remind myself of that every time Laney makes me insane.
Laney's first semester became the newest challenge in maintaining our friendship. That's all it was to me. It was just another thing we had to learn to work around--like the disguises I had to wear when we went to a movie or the discretion I had to use when I reached for her hand. In my mind, as far as our relationship was concerned, things were back to normal. We talked on the phone at least once a week and emailed each other all the time. I figured everything was okay; that Laney had finally worked through her issues with having me in her life.
In retrospect, there were big warning bells that should have alerted me to what was going on. The few times I was in New York, Laney was too busy with classes and whatever else college students did (She assured me there were no wild fraternity parties, but somehow I found that hard to believe.) to spend time with me. She told her roommate that I was a high school friend that decided not to go to college. Laney had this whole story about a young man trying to find himself. I had no idea I was lost. It's not surprising that even then Laney knew me better than I did.
I'm about to deplete my cool factor for a moment. I know. I know. It's impossible for Justin Timberlake to be anything less than cool--or at least I like to think so. Other people (Laney mostly) would disagree with that statement. Anyway, there's this quote from Winnie the Pooh that goes something like, "Never forget me because if I thought you would, I'd never leave."
I know that this probably indicates some mental imbalance that I'm suffering from, but I knew the exact minute her plane was to arrive home for Christmas after her first semester. Sure, I wasn't exactly going to be in town, but I knew when she would be home. I knew the logistics of when we could hang out again and fall into our routine. I couldn't wait to see her.
It's grown quite obvious to me that Laney wasn't as excited about returning to our norm. While it's not a complete surprise that Laney was experiencing doubts, I can't believe she was attempting to act on them. I had handled the situation all wrong. I should've stuck with my original defense against Laney Jane Syndrome. I should've have forced my wonderful personality down her throat whenever the opportunity arose and not allowed myself to be dragged off on publicity her first week home. Instead, I had to endure seven days of Laney talking herself out of our friendship all over again.
Sometimes the girl really pisses me off. I must be masochistic though, because the minute she finally called me, what did I do? I talked her into joining me on my "Nsync is back with a vengeance" publicity trail.
"Justin, c'mon! We want to get through this rehearsal before the taping starts," Lance needled at me.
I adjusted my microphone and replied, "I was just thinking."
"And who would be the subject of thought at the moment? The blonde or brunette in your life?"
"Shut up," I countered. I looked to Chris and asked, "Do you think Laney is pissed off about something? She's been home for a week now and still hasn't called to make plans with me."
"Further proof that Justin would never make it in college," Lance said to the others. He looked at me for a minute and added slowly, "She just finished finals. Do you know what a final is? She's probably recovering from a newfound caffeine dependency and sleep deprivation."
"I thought I told you to shut up, Lance," I snapped.
"Justin, the girl wants her own life and who can blame her? Sometimes I get sick of the hysteria that surrounds us," Chris added, taking a seat on one of the stools on the stage. He looked around and smiled, "But hell it's great to be performing officially as Nsync again."
I peered around the empty building before I replied, "I know that and it's one of the things I love about her, but sometimes I think she hates my guts and has been humoring me all this time."
"Laney seems like the type of person to humor people with friendship," Lance agreed sarcastically. He patted my back in encouragement "Maybe if you gave the girl some breathing room, she'd call you back."
"What are you insinuating?"
"I'm stating that you're acting like a stalker. Let's finish our run-through, primp ourselves for the television cameras, get ready to wow our fans with our amazing personalities, and then you can call your girlfriend. Maybe Britney will cheer you up better than any of us can."
"Maybe."
We successfully made it through the rest of our rehearsal without any major malfunctions and were ushered through hair and makeup. My phone started to ring and I reached for it quickly. My phone is my life. It might seem sad, but if everyone you cared about was always hundreds of miles away, you'd feel the same way. Trust me.
"Hello?"
I heard breathing. Laney always accused me of not paying attention, but I recognized her breathing. (Or ya know, I heard her sister's voice in the background.) and sighed, "Listen heavy breather, I've got a girlfriend and this is really inappropriate."
"I'm home."
"Laney? I had no idea that you were into crank calls," I joked.
"Shut up. I was eating when you answered," she paused for a moment. I heard her mumbling something to someone and she finally repeated, "So yeah, I'm home."
"You've been home for a week...and finally decided to appease me with a phone call. A phone call is all I get?" I pouted. I prefer the term brooding, but no one else ever uses it. I appear to be stuck with pouting. Yeah, that's right. I'm a pouter.
"Was I supposed to hire a skywriter or something?"
"There is a charity thing in DC tomorrow. I hear DC is beautiful at Christmas time."
"Is that your backhanded idea of an invite to visit?"
"You don't need an invitation. You know that," I stated as I walked towards the Green room. Have you ever walked somewhere without paying attention and ended up completely turned around? And it never happens when I'm running ahead of time. Of course not. It always happens when I'm late.
"Yeah, yeah. I have to spend some more time with my parents before they have a nervous breakdown about their baby leaving the nest."
I chuckled, "Meet up with us tomorrow then?"
I heard her hesitate, "I don't know."
"Big plans with the parental units?"
"Not exactly, but--"
"Great. I can have someone book you a morning flight and we can spend some time together," I asserted.
"What would Britney say, Justin?" Laney teased.
"Oh please. Like Britney has anything to worry about. I'm not always the best boyfriend, but--"
"TMI, TMI...do not want to hear this!"
"Laney Jane, are you saying that you don't want to hear what Britney whispers in my ear when I--"
"You finish that sentence and I will not only hang this phone up, but our friendship will be over. I mean it! There are certain things we just don't have to share. Jesus!"
"Whatever. Please come with me to this party tomorrow night. I miss you, Laney Jane."
"How have you had time to miss me, or anyone, for that matter? Sometimes I think you speak without really hearing what you're saying," Laney replied.
I yawned silently. There was no use arguing with her when she got like this. "Laney, I hear exactly what I'm saying. It is possible to be extremely busy and still miss people. Don't even try to make excuses for your horrible mistreatment of our friendship."
She laughed. Stupid girl laughed at me. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. "Poor lil' Justin. His life is so tough."
"Why do I hang out with you again?"
"I've been trying to figure that out for years, J."
"I'll have them stock our rooms with movies."
"Ooh...ah...pull my leg a little harder here."
I grinned, ready to use my secret weapon, "I have the Mallrats DVD."
She didn't say anything for a moment. I began to wonder if she was still there. Finally, she replied softly, "I love that movie."
"Yeah, I know. I've only had to watch it five hundred times."
"Had to watch it? HAD TO WATCH IT? Justin, it's the best movie ever made. It's brilliant and I can't believe I'm defending my favorite movie to a man that has My Best Friend's Wedding memorized word for word."
"I have that on DVD too," I stated. I managed to make my way to the room set up for us and saw Lance and Joey talking. I whispered, "So what do you say? Come to DC for the a few days? I'll let you be your smarty pants self and show me all the important political sights."
"I don't know. You'll be home in a few days. We can hang out then."
I gripped the phone tighter, "I'll be your best friend?"
"Who would be stupid enough to want that job?"
"Laney--"
"I'll be there. I'll be there. Can I bring Steph?"
"If you want to. What is going on with you? Are you suddenly afraid to be alone with me, Laney?"
"Yeah. I'm not sure I'll be able to resist the smell of Caress soap that lingers from your body...and those curls? Oh Justin, I just don't think I can control myself! Oh baby. Oh baby..." her voice trailed off into a fit of laughter.
Yeah, she had a knack for ego inflation all right. "You're too young to be this bitter, Laney."
I could just picture the huge goofy grin on her face and when she quieted down, I imagined her fingers curling into a fist like always, "It's more like I just returned from the cold weather of the Northeast and I'm not in a big hurry to pull out my Parka again."
I nodded to my security guard as he motioned to me. I said, "I have to go now. I'll call you later to work out the details."
"I'm being dragged to a party with Steph and Jacob so leave the information with Dana."
"She hates me."
"She doesn't hate you. Hate is such a strong word...break a leg at your first official Jive appearance."
"Party hard tonight."
"Sure. I get to see all those people from high school that I didn't like the first time around. You're probably late for something, so go, Justin," she said.
"I'm glad you're coming, Laney."
"It'll be a fun weekend," she responded like she was trying to convince me.
"Later Laney."
"Later J."
I closed my phone and threw my hands up in victory. Ever see the intro to ER where Benton does his little "I'm fucking amazing" move? Well, that's what I was doing when Lance shot me a bewildered gaze. I explained, "Laney is coming to visit tomorrow. This will be cool. This will be very cool. Things are finally back to normal."
Chris put his arm around my shoulders, "Something you aren't telling us here, Froboy?"
"Huh?"
Chris looked at Lance and questioned, "Yeah...I mean, someone seems really excited about seeing his friend."
I scowled, "I've got a girlfriend."
"Need I remind you that I've never seen you this excited about a visit from Britney," Chris pointed out.
I answered coolly, "I'm not worried about Britney pulling away from me. That girl is completely into me. I couldn't get away from her if I tried."
I saw Joey and Lance laughing out of the corner of my eye and Chris spoke up, "Got you on a short leash, does she?"
"You would know more about that than I do, Chris," I stated, walking into the room before he could say anything more.
Laney, Laney, Laney! If I'd only known what that visit was going to trigger, I'm not sure I would have brought you up to visit. I would have simply waited another few days until I was back in Florida to see you.
I'm convinced our problem was the routine. Our routine was ruined. It's hard to move around in Florida, but I know how to do it. I know how to go unnoticed in my own town. Other cities? Like I said, our flow was ruined and it messed us up.
Could he be anymore vague? And have I mentioned his penchant for the dramatic? He's going for the Hitchcock style of suspense and failing miserably. The thing with Justin and I is that we thrive on fighting, but it's not--how do I put this? It's not cool with the teenies. They see Justin arguing and they either assume he's an asshole or that some bitch is bothering their man.
Guess who that makes the bitch?
I was home for a week before I called. Why? Things had been so nice with Justin through email and phone calls while I was away at school, but coming face to face with him was bound to bring up all the same problems again. See, people talked about how you could reinvent yourself at college. Well, I reinvented Justin at college...sorta. I took all of Justin's personality traits but created a friend that was more normal by my standards. The Justin I created to tell people about at school was much less complicated than the real thing.
I'm a firm believer that there are people made for greatness and those that inspire greatness from behind the scenes. I always wanted to be the inspiration, never the person out there for everyone to dissect like some lab rat. It's just another thing that I don't like about the lifestyle Justin lives. Everyone knows your business, or at least, everyone thinks they do.
"Get me out of this!" I whispered loudly as the car Justin sent for us pulled up in front of the hotel. I saw a bevy of fans--young and old--with posters and cameras. I heard the shrill shrieks from the crowd at the sight of the limousine and cringed inwardly. I leaned forward until my forehead was pressing against my knees and moaned, "I think I'm going to be sick."
Steph's eyes moved from the long dark hairs she was twirling around her fingers to my crumpled frame and shook her head, "Laney, don't let these people bother you. Do you know what they're thinking?"
"That Justin's hot? Which just proves they aren't thinking! I mean if they only knew how--"
Steph placed her hand over my mouth and replied calmly, "They're thinking that they would give anything to switch places with you. They don't know who you are and they don't really care. You're a means to an end for them."
"I hate it. There are reasons I avoid public outings with him."
"Well, that's stupid."
"Yeah, it's easy for you to say, Steph. You're not friends with the Justin Timberlake, freak of the week."
Steph laughed, "Melanie Jane, you're acting like a big baby. Once you lock eyes on Justin, the two of you will be so caught up in some discussion about the newest cinematic phenomenon that nothing else will matter."
"Great. You make me sound like the plot to a bad sitcom."
"Well, there is a certain hilarity to this situation..." she paused when she noticed the look on my face and rephrased, "Not that you and Justin being friends is such an absurd...I'm going to shut up now."
"Good idea." The door to the limo opened and I growled, "I really hate this stuff. I could never be in the public eye. It would drive me nuts."
"True. Your low tolerance for bullshit and sarcasm would probably be lost on most people too...not to mention if people found out our plans to put the stupid people of the earth on an island--"
I cut her off, "I get it. I get it. Avoid the spotlight at all costs," I paused and tapped my head, "Copied to memory." I stared at the leather upholstery of the limousine for a moment before slowly placing my legs on the ground. I made my best imitation of a smile, stepped out of the car, and gritted through my teeth, "Let's get this over with."
I ran to the lobby of the hotel, and breathed a sigh of relief once I was in. I refused to look back out for fear that this would cause me to have a nervous breakdown. I couldn't figure out why I got so worked up. I knew it wasn't healthy but, in my gut, I knew I didn't belong there. I didn't belong in some random town filled with idiots decked out in rhinestone cowboy hats and faux fur coats. I wasn't trendy or cool enough by typical standards to be in this situation.
"Melanie Jane!"
I heard my name and turned to see Steph following one of the security guards to the elevators. I pushed my hair back off my face and quickly joined them. The elevator dinged in my ears as the doors slid open and we stepped inside. I looked at Stephanie and then to the guard I didn't recognize. He didn't say anything. Steph mouthed, "creepy" to me and I gently tapped the man's shoulder, "Hey there."
His whole torso turned towards us and his eyebrows rose. I assumed that was bodyguard speak for hello. I nodded my head in understanding and mouthed to Steph, "definitely creepy."
The door to the elevator opened and Steph and I stepped out. The guard didn't move, but mumbled something into his walkie-talkie as the elevator doors closed behind us. I glanced at Steph and commented, "That was weird."
"It's Igor from Frankenstein," Steph dropped her bag and raised her arms to shoulder level, "This way, master."
"Watch it, Steph. You're doing the first step to the 'Everybody' dance by the Backstreet Boys."
She giggled, "Oh. You know I'm so in love with Kevin Richardson--tall, dark, and silent. They say that silence is golden and the things we could do in that time would be--" Steph spun on her heel and stopped midsentence.
I looked in the direction she was staring in and Lance came over, "No. Don't let me interrupt. I was enjoying this conversation."
"Hiya Lance," Steph said overly peppy.
"Hiya?" I mumbled under my breath. I looked at Lance, "Where's the pest?"
"I take offense to that, Laney Jane," Justin said coming around the corner in the hall. He looked me over for a minute and said, "There don't appear to be any cuts or bruises. See. My fans aren't too rabid."
"What was that? I think I lost my hearing from the very LOUD screams I had to endure," I said, raising my hand to my ear for further emphasis.
Justin took my hand and pulled me into a hug. I pulled back quickly when I felt two pairs of eyes on us. There was nothing worse, in my opinion, then public displays of affection. It made me highly uncomfortable.
He nodded in Steph's direction, "Thanks for keeping her from backing out, Steph."
I went to protest, but Steph spoke up, "Not a problem. She only pulled one 'I think I'm going to throw up' in the limousine and it wasn't even until we got here."
I glared at Steph and Justin gave his trademark smug grin before replying, "Only once?" Justin's eyes met mine and, if it was possible, his grin--in all its smugness--grew bigger, "Laney, are you okay? I mean...only one breakdown at the prospect of people finding out that you are," he paused and gasped, "friends with me."
"I hate you," I replied. I looked to Lance, "Lance, are you in the market for a new friend? Justin has ruined his--"
"Lance wouldn't be able to put up with your innate nerdiness."
My hands fell to my hips and I countered, "It's called intelligence and it's something you're quite lacking in."
Justin rolled his eyes, "Nerd."
"Dork."
Justin stepped closer to me and spoke a bit louder, "NERD!"
"Moron."
We would have continued for another few minutes, but Lance reminded us that other people were around. Hey, no one ever accused us of having a mature friendship. We're both quite puerile. Lance stated, "I'm going to show Steph where she can put her bags."
I started to follow but Justin stepped in front of me. My eyes met his in a challenge, "Out of my way, flop mop."
"Flop mop? Is that the best you can do?"
"There is something wrong with our friendship and there is something seriously wrong with your brain," I commented.
Justin bit at his bottom lip and stared at me for a moment. It was strange. Have you ever felt completely naked under someone's gaze? It was disconcerting, especially when it was someone who has known you since you were eleven and has seen your Eeyore pajamas and footie slippers. There was also a very awkward moment of silence and I had no idea why.
"I've missed you, Laney."
"Missed making fun of me is more like it," I corrected.
"Like you aren't quick with the bickering."
"Justin, I swear I should..." I stopped midsentence and the two of us started to laugh. I shook my head, "Our whole friendship is quite insane."
"It works."
"You always say that but--"
Justin groaned, "How about we put your bags away, order some room service, and watch a movie? Just like always."
"Sure."
Justin took my hand and led me down the hall. He stopped suddenly and my face hit his chest. I yelped, "Moron."
Justin looked at me for a minute, "I wasn't going to say this...nevermind."
"You can't do that."
"Huh?"
I tugged at my sweater, pushing the sleeves away from my wrists, and replied, "I hate that. I hate how you start to say something and then make me force it out of you."
He shot me a puzzled look, "Do I do that a lot?"
Does he do that a lot? Does he do that a lot? I swear to God, I could have killed him. I took a few breaths and questioned, "What did you want to say?"
Justin played with his hands, cracking his knuckles, and replied, "I was just wondering how school was."
"It's good. I really like it."
"Were you really busy when we were in New York?"
I looked down, "Kinda."
"You just didn't want to be seen with me?" he asked.
I hated this. He knew the answer to the question and my reply only resulted in making him mad and me feel guilty. "J, it's not that simple."
"New York is a big city, ya know...forget it. I'm in a cranky mood. I had a fight with Britney this morning and I just...I'll never understand you women."
I smiled, "The two of you are such drama queens."
"Did you just call my girlfriend a drama queen, Laney?"
"Oh please. Don't act shocked. I know you both love each other, but you make big deals out of everything. Stop reading into stuff so much."
"I'm trying to understand her."
"Sometimes there is nothing to understand. Sometimes people fight. I mean, look at us. We've made a friendship out of it."
"True, but we're buds," Justin took my bag from my hand and pulled on the fraying threads in the strap. He looked at me and said, "She's mad because I don't want to spend Christmas in Louisiana."
"Were you planning to?"
"No. Well, I didn't think so. Brit has a different idea though."
"Isn't she going to Hawaii with you for New Years? Are you telling me that she can't go a week without seeing you? I find that hard to believe," I replied. I leaned against the wall while Justin fumbled with his door key. After his tenth unsuccessful attempt, I grabbed the key from him, slid it through the lock, and kicked the door open. I shook my head, "How many hotels have you stayed in and you can't open the door?"
"It's tricky," Justin whined. He dropped my duffel bag and said, "I know what you're saying. I mean, apparently, my best friend has no problem going months without seeing me, but this girl? She wants me around all the time. Can you believe that?" Justin smirked.
"You can't go five minutes without getting a little guilt-trip in, can you?"
"No," he fell back on his bed and questioned, "So what do you want to watch?"
"I don't care."
"That is the most blatant lie I've ever heard come out of your mouth, Laney Jane. I don't care? Big, fat liar is what you are," Justin teased, reaching for the remote to the television. He propped himself up against the headboard and a lecherous grin spread across his face, "Say Anything is on television. I can have housekeeping send up a box of tissues for you."
I took a seat on the bed and said, "I'm so glad that I came. You've been nothing but a bundle of joy since my arrival."
Justin shrugged and wrapped his arm around my neck from behind. Justin did his best impersonation of sweet talk, "Come on, Laney Jane. You know you want to smile. We have all day tomorrow to wander around. We'll see the sights and undertake several acts of depravity..."
I opened my mouth in astonishment, "Justin, you used a big word. Color me impressed."
Justin stood up on the bed. He pointed down at me and chuckled, "Hooked on phonics can work for you too. I see the corners of your mouth twitching upwards into...my god, is that a smile? No. It can't be. The Laney Jane I know is too aloof to smile these days."
I found myself laughing, forgetting my anxieties about everything, about him and our friendship. Justin pulled me up next to him. He grinned. It was no longer smug in its disposition, but fun. It was also somewhat contagious. He hopped around me and proclaimed, "Let's have fun, Laney."
He started to sing, "I ain't gonna let no elevator take us down...oh no let's go...Let's go crazy...Let's get nuts...Let's look for the purple banana...til they put us in the truck, let's go!"
"Hey Prince, what the hell have you been smoking? Am I going to find drug paraphernalia hidden in your underwear drawer?"
Justin leaned in, "And why would you be in my underwear drawer, Laney Jane?"
I stared at him as he danced around like a loon, swinging my arms to and fro, "This is insane. If only everyone outside this hotel saw this side of you..."
"Laney, I want to have some fun. We've both had a hard couple of months. Just let loose and not think about everything so much."
"J, are you okay?"
He spun me around and I nearly toppled off the bed. Justin caught me and spun me around again, "I am now. So what movie do you want to watch?"
I moaned, "I'm getting dizzy."
"Never heard of it. Is it new?"
"Very funny," I collapsed on the bed and Justin fell down next to me. His face took on a serious expression and he stated again, "We're going to have fun this weekend, Laney."
"Sure, Justin," I replied. He smiled reassuringly at me and I felt my head pounding--not just a pound, but a thud. Thud, thud, thud...like an ogre stomping through a forest.
That reaction was the reason I had been avoiding him. The confusion. We were notorious for making each other laugh. There wasn't another person besides Justin who could watch a movie like House of Yes repeatedly, and still find it as humorous as I did. Not to mention, I couldn't hide my goofy smile whenever he was around, unless of course he was calling me any assortment of names. Why was this a problem? Call me crazy, but the Justin from my imagination, the Justin my roommate knew all about, wasn't nearly as good as the real thing anymore. Spending time with him again only served to remind me that I missed the raving lunatic. I missed spending large intervals of time with him and it seemed to...
Yuck. I sounded like a girl. Some stupid girl with nothing better to do than sit around and make lists of the good, bad, and ugly characteristics of her cadre of friends.
And I know what you're thinking. It's okay to miss a friend and attempt to fall back into a routine with him. It's like being presented with an answer to all those problems, and the questions and doubts take a backseat to fun. The problem with that thought process is reality. Nothing has really been solved and those worries manifest themselves in headaches. That is, until something happens that makes those worries much more evident.
"Justin, are you ready to get going? I would like to make it to the Washington Monument before we're older than the building itself," I called through the door to his bathroom.
He opened the door and smiled, "I'm ready. How do I look?" He spun around for me, pulling on the fabric of his cargo pants and showing off his shirt like it was the next item on the Price Is Right.
"Like something died in your head," I replied, picking at one of his curls. I looked at him, "You call this toning it down? No one will miss this head of hair."
"I resent that, Laney. Besides with a baseball cap, it won't be at all noticeable," Justin said, reaching into his duffel bag for his hat. He put it on his head and smirked, "See."
I crossed my arms and questioned, "Why the hell did you spend the last twenty minutes working on your hair if you were planning to put a hat on the entire time?"
"Laney Jane, you of all people should remember that time when I was twelve and didn't brush my hair. My mother went crazy. Peanut butter and other homemade concoctions were thrown on my head to get the tangles out. I had bugs buzzing around my head for weeks. Not going to happen ever again."
I laughed as Justin sighed dramatically, "So are we ready for a day of fun?"
"Are you sure this a good idea, J? Everyone knows you're in town and this could be--"
He placed his hands on my shoulder. I used to see his stepfather use that move on him. When he was about to utter words of what he thought was wisdom, Justin always placed his hands on your shoulders. He looked at me and said, "It's not like we're going out without security. We've got Toddy coming along and I doubt anyone expects to find me checking out Arlington Cemetery. I think we're safe."
"I just don't want to..."
"Laney, trust that I know how to handle this stuff, okay? I wouldn't put myself or you in harm's way and Todd wouldn't let us go if he thought it wasn't cool either."
"Fine."
Justin looked around, "Where's Steph?"
"Sleeping. I tried to wake her up, but she muttered something about only coming on this trip to appease my insanity and threw her pillow over her head."
"Gee that must be nice. We could all just stay in--"
"I'm going sight-seeing. You can stay in if you'd like," I said, walking out the door of his room and starting towards the elevators.
"Laney, I was just kidding," he said, falling into step right next to me. We waited for the elevator and he nudged my side, "I'm glad you decided to come, Laney. It was nice to spend some time with you again."
"Yeah. It was," I caught him playing with his hat. Whenever Justin was ancy or just trying to drive me crazy, he would tug on the rim of whatever hat he was wearing. It was soon followed with him taking the hat off and putting it right back on. It would go on for anywhere from five minutes to an hour. I slapped his hands away from the hat and said, “The Washington Monument is 555 feet tall and there are exactly 897 steps to get to the top observation deck.”
Justin leaned forward and placed his hand on my head. I shot him a confused glance, “What are you doing?”
“Trying to figure out where all that information goes. How the hell did you know that?”
I held up a Zagot’s tour book and replied, “I read it in here.”
“But how did you remember all that useless information?”
“Dumb luck? And since you used the term 'useless,' I'm guessing that you don’t care to know that the Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier is guarded round the clock and in the winter, which in case you didn’t know is now, the changing of the guard occurs on the hour.”
“Thank you encyclopedia Laney.”
“AND…”
“Oh god,” he muttered.
I hit him playfully and added, “AND…the tomb has an unknown soldier from each of the wars the United States participated in during this century.”
“You really need to get a life, Laney. Maybe we should go to the mall instead,” Justin suggested.
“Hummphh. If I’m so awful the way I am, maybe I should just-“
Justin laughed, “Oh no you don’t! I didn’t say it was awful. I said that you need to get a life. There's a difference!”
“It’s at times like this that I wish I knew how to pout the way you do. Maybe I could score some nice guilt gift,” I said with a devious grin.
“I don’t pout. I brood.”
I waved his reply off, “Semantics.”
"I’ll give you semantics, Laney Jane,” he replied, stepping on the elevator and holding it open for me. He chuckled lightly and added, “I really have missed you.”
“I can tell. And, prior to your little comment about me needing a life, I missed you too.”
“I must admit I was starting to wonder about that. I was beginning to think that you were ashamed of me or something."
"Must you always be so dramatic? Ashamed? Justin, I've just been busy."
"I don't want to fight with you so I'm going to drop it. I won't even make you admit that you had a TON of fun at the charity thing last night...and of course, you had the hottest date in the room."
I shook my head in exasperation, "Justin, we studied the narcissistic complex in one of my college classes. You should really look into therapy."
"Whatever, Laney. Whatever."
"So, tomorrow we fly back to Orlando and guess what? Talented Mr. Ripley opens. I know you have that unhealthy obsession for Matt Damon and I was thinking we could go see it."
I hugged him, "Oh yes. Good choice in movies. Good choice indeed. That man is just--"
Justin threw his hand over my mouth and spoke slowly, "Laney, you're sounding remarkably girlish at the moment and the idea of you wanting to do bad things to Matt Damon is something I don't need to know."
"Oh that's fair. I have to listen to you go on endlessly about your strange fetish with Britney's ankles, but I mention that Matt Damon is the perfect man and you--"
Justin cut me off, "I was also thinking...what are your plans for New Years?"
"Dana's boyfriend is having a small party. She told me I could tag along with her since I have nothing else to do. It would be sad to ring in the new millennium alone."
"Yes, it would. That's why you're coming to Hawaii with us," Justin stated, hitting the lobby button in the elevator. He met my shocked expression and explained, "Don't freak out on me here, Laney Jane. It'll be fun."
"I'm sure it would be, but it's not really my thing."
"It could be. We've got a big party planned after our shows and who better to ring in the New Year with than your ever-lovable dufus of a friend."
"You're going to want to spend time with Britney and I'm going to be a third wheel, Justin. I hate that."
"You and Britney get along. You and I get along. I don't see the problem."
I rolled my eyes, "The problem is that while the two of you are off doing God knows what..." Justin went to say something and my voice got louder, "And that falls into the TMI category by the way...what the hell will I do with myself in Hawaii? I'm not a beach girl and I don't have the figure to put on a bikini and sit by a pool all day."
"Just think about it."
The door to the elevator opened and Justin stepped out. He took my hand and pulled me over to where Todd was waiting for us. I heard a few girls who were in the lobby of the hotel gasp and Justin instinctively pulled me closer to him.
I pried free of his grasp and said, "I am capable of walking out the door on my own."
"Hawaii was supposed to make you happy, not put you in a bitchy mood, Laney Jane."
I glared at him, "I'm not in a bitchy mood."
He rolled his eyes, "You weren't before."
"Justin, don't get all pissy."
He turned and shot me a playful look, "Pissy? Those are fighting words, Laney Jane."
Todd shook his head in our direction and barked, "Go straight to the car. No stopping, no pausing, and try to keep the fighting to a minimum for a few seconds."
Justin punched me in the arm "See. No fighting. Can you handle that?"
"How about punching him in the face? Is that okay?"
"Laney Jane, you're all talk and no bite."
Todd repeated, "Straight to the car."
I groaned in compliance while Justin made his way out the door first. Todd and another one of the guards flanked him while a third guard walked with me. I winced against the shrieks and I heard one girl whisper (Well, it wasn't a whisper. It was that stupid pretend whisper where a person speaks extremely loud), "What is Justin doing with that girl?"
"Maybe she won a contest or something?"
"Must be. She's way too homely to be anything else."
"I think you mean boooorrring," the first girl corrected with a laugh.
"I don't know. Did you see her in there? It looked like they were fighting. She practically attacked Justin," a third girl spoke up.
"I hope they lock her up and throw away the key...like Justin would pay a girl like that any attention."
"True. And look at those clothes? Nsync was here for a charity event. Maybe she's one of the charity cases?" the first girl hypothesized.
I closed my eyes and fell into the car next to Justin. I crossed my arms protectively and waited for the car to take off. Charity case? Great. It’s a wonderful term to have flung at you. The reason I didn't have many girlfriends was now astounding clear. They were so caddy. Every insecurity or jealousy they had was taken out on everyone else. It was stupid and I was stupid for letting it bother me.
I could feel Justin's eyes on me and he asked, "What?"
"What, what?"
"Something is wrong with you."
"Nothing is wrong."
"Laney, it's not that bad. Did you see the one girl who was telling me that she's my future wife?" he paused to chuckle and when I didn't join in, he stated, "These girls just like to act like they have some say in my life."
"Don't they have a say in it though? I mean, they're the ones who buy the records, the merchandise, and the concert tickets."
"So?"
"So I'm homely."
Justin laughed. That was reassuring. He placed his arm over my shoulder, "It's not exactly the word I would use to describe you, but okay."
I glared at him, "This isn't funny."
"Laney, you can't get so worked up over what some complete stranger thinks of you. It's ridiculous."
"What's ridiculous is that you don't see this as a problem!"
Justin's eyes narrowed on me, "We've been through this before, Laney. Remember the Disney Concert. There were a few girls that were really bitchy to you. Didn't I take care of it?"
"I don't need you to fight my battles for me, Justin...especially over something so absurd as a girl calling me a name," I snapped.
"So why are you getting so worked up?"
"Because this is your life. You chose this life. You chose to put yourself on a pedestal and allow people to cast aspersions at your character. I didn't."
Justin leaned back against the seat, "We were having fun, Laney. Don't let those stupid girls ruin it."
I shrugged. I knew he was right. We were having fun, but I wasn't sure I could just forget it. I wasn't sure that ignoring our festering problem was going to solve anything.
I noticed Justin staring at me and he said, "Laney, those girls are stupid."
"Those girls are right, Justin."
"Jesus Christ. Are we back to this? I thought we had finally...forget it," he said. His eyes locked on the window and he muttered, "This will be a fun day."