Chapter Ten

One of my favorite movies is Say Anything and it's not just because of John Cusack, although he is always an added bonus. There is this scene after Diane Cort has dumped Lloyd where he's decided that he's friends with too many girls and he looks to the guys to help him get over his heartbroken state. The guys respond with woman bashing, trying to cheer him up and make him feel better about the harsh dumping. It's a ritual I've never completely grasped, but it's one of my favorite scenes in the movie.

I was suddenly one of those guys, attempting to alleviate Justin's sour mood with clichés of "other fish in the sea" and trying to turn the discussion to his car. He shrugged in response and continued to bite at his nails. I was almost tempted to buy some beer and say, "Bitches man!" but that wouldn't help Justin. He was too dramatic (or as he would say "My mom calls me a sensitive soul, Laney Jane.") to be okay with the offer of a pretty girl to destroy on the rebound and liquor. In a very strange way, Justin was acting like Lloyd Dobbler does. If he weren't frustrating me, I would have found it commendable.

If I wasn't worried before, I was definitely distressed after the movie. With all of Justin's past girlfriends, he had moved on rather easily. Some of the girls had been downright cruel in their breakups and Justin never batted an eye. He let everything they said roll right off his back and moved on to the next pair of legs that paid him any real attention. This thing with Britney had to be bad. Justin wasn't talking. He watched the movie, barely joining Lance and I in our "Die Dawson's character" rants, and as we headed out to meet the van, he was lost in his own world. Normally, after a movie with Justin, I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He always had lots of theories and firm beliefs.

I can't believe I was about to say it…but I missed his inane jabbering.

"I don't know if Final Destination was a smart movie to see when I spend half my life flying on airplanes," Lance said, holding the door open for me.

I nodded, "That didn't bother me. What freaked me out is that you can't avoid death. You either die or end up some freak living in a cabin wearing protective gear and frightened of canned peaches."

Lance chuckled, "Yeah, that did get a bit insane at the end."

I nudged Justin in the side, "What was your favorite part?"

Justin's face contorted with confusion, "What?"

"Your favorite part of the movie?" I repeated slowly.

Justin chewed at his finger, "I'm not sure. I don't get why everyone blamed him. He saved their lives and they thanked him by acting like he was some terrorist." Justin slid into the van and once Lance and I were in, he added, "But hell, at least his girlfriend stood by him. Everyone else blew him off, but she stayed with him until the end."

I glanced helplessly at Lance and replied, "They weren't dating before."

"Even better. That shows real loyalty right there. She didn't yell at him about breaking her heart and making absurd declarations that had no bearing on real life."

"No…because it's a movie, J," Lance replied.

Justin sighed in exasperation like we were both completely clueless. He looked out the window and muttered, "You're missing the point."

"Okay. We're missing the point," I said. I glanced at my watch. I wasn't sure if dinner was the best idea with the mood that Justin was in, but frankly, I didn't care. If Justin wouldn't talk about what Britney had said, there was nothing I could do and he still owed Spencer an apology. At the same time, I couldn't spring this on him. I cleared my throat and went on, "Spencer called me when I was on my way to the hotel."

I caught Justin's reflection through the window as his eyes rolled. Lance replied, "You know Spencer?"

"Yeah. We've sorta been-"

"Sucking face?" Justin offered.

I hit Justin in the arm and turned to Lance, "Why do I put up with him again?"

"I ask myself that question…but at least I have a good reason. We wouldn't be nearly as popular without Justin. Those curls of his make me money."

"See Lance. You've got a good reason. I've got nothing."

"Thanks Laney. Why don't you give up on me like Britney did?" Justin whined.

I shook my head, "Don't tempt me." I watched Justin turn back towards the window. I asked him, "What the hell did she say to you, J?"

"Nothing."

Lance decided to change the subject. He adjusted his watchband and said, "Spencer is a cool guy. He was helping me come up with some business plan ideas for Johnny for the FreeLance auditions this summer. The guy knows his stuff."

"Yeah. Well, he wants to go out to dinner tonight."

Justin's head swiveled, like something out of the Exorcist, and he snapped, "I thought we were hanging out?"

"We are."

"Laney Jane, I don't get-"

"I thought that we could have dinner…the three of us."

"Oh great. So I can be the third wheel to a happy couple?" Justin scowled and muttered, "You suck at this supportive best friend shit, just so you know."

I glared at him, "How dare I ask a friend of mine to join us for dinner. I do recall you saying that you were going to apologize and try to be nicer to Spencer. Or did I imagine that talk?"

Justin folded his arms and replied, "This isn't about me not liking Spencer, although I'm telling you there is something wrong with that guy…but whatever. Date a man who listens to the Fine Young Cannibals. I can't help you. This is about the fact that Britney dumped me-out of the blue, completely unexpected-and you want me to be kind and caring? Laney Jane, what are you on?"

"It's dinner. We'll go for pizza…it's an hour of your life that I'm asking you to give up. There is a lot of crap that I do, much to my chagrin, for you. You owe me."

Justin looked to Lance who had snuck to the back and was talking to his bodyguard. We had a tendency to either scare people away or forget they were there. It was something we had to work on. Justin stared at me and, after a few minutes, he smiled weakly, "Fine."

"Can you try to act civil?"

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I wish you would-whatever Britney said…she's probably hurt, J. She probably didn't mean it."

"No, she meant it and it's not helping me to focus on it. But it's like a pink elephant. You tell yourself not to think about pink elephants and that's all you can think about. Everything Brit said to me is on repeat play in my head and I can't shut it off."

I patted Justin's arm and said, "Girls suck."

Justin chuckled, "You realize that you're a girl right?"

I shook my head, "Right now, I'm not a girl. For the time being, I'm your buddy and if you want to denounce the female gender, I would understand."

"This sounds like it could get confusing."

"Not really. Say it with me, J. Girls suck."

Justin patted the top of my head and said, "I refuse to say anything that you will one day use against me."

The van came to a stop in the parking garage. We hopped out and headed straight for the service elevators. It never ceased to amaze me the CIA-esque maneuvers that the guys had become accustomed to. Once we were on the elevator, I turned to Justin and said, "If you're not up for this, I'll call Spence and tell him we'll see each other when he gets back in town."

"No, I'm fine. I owe him an apology and it's important to you."

I smiled, "Thanks J."

"Yeah, well you've done a lot for me that you didn't want to. I can grin and bare it for one night. Besides, it beats staying holed up in my room and listening to country music."

"The music of pain?"

Justin grinned. "Yes. That is my favorite episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

I shook my head, "I'm much more fond of the second season finale. When Angel is about to kill her and says, '…no weapons, no friends, no hope…take all that away and what's left?' and she catches the sword and replies, 'Me.' Oh I love that. Joss Whedon is my idolatry."

"How the hell do you remember that?"

"I've seen the episode about a hundred times, Justin."

"I know. I've watched the show with you a lot of the time…" Justin motioned to Lance and added, "It doesn't hurt that Buffy is hot."

"Angel is hotter."

"You have your fantasies and I have mine, Laney Jane."

"Well, keep those fantasies to yourself. Like I'm not already emotional traumatized by your explicit dreams involving Natalie Portman and a bean bag chair."

"How did we get on this topic again?"

Lance spoke up, "She asked you if you could handle dinner with Spencer and you quoted Buffy."

Justin turned to glare at Lance as if he had interrupted some highly classified conversation that he had no clearance for. Justin sighed, "Right. I'm sure dinner will be fine. It's time I get to know Spencer."

"And you're going to give him a chance?"

"Yes, I promise."

"You rock," I replied.

"Wow, Laney. I'm not used to this type of compliment coming from you. I rock? I might blush," Justin countered with a smug grin.

I smiled, "Well, at least it seems to have helped you rediscover your cockiness. I was beginning to wonder if the ego had vanished for good and then how would I sleep at night?"

Justin gave me an affectionate nudge and replied, "I do reserve the right to mock him for his obvious bad taste in music."

"Okay. I mean I have to agree. He's a fan of Nsync."

Lance laughed and Justin pointed, "She insulted you too, Lance."

"Doesn't make it any less funny."

Justin pouted and stared me down. He asked, "And you're not at all concerned about his sexuality or anything?"

"This coming from a guy that likes chick flicks and rhinestone shirts."

"I only wear rhinestone stuff when I perform. Don't try to change the subject," Justin complained.

"How am I changing the subject?"

"By making me gay!"

I laughed as the elevator doors open. Justin met the dubious looks on JC and Joey's faces who were waiting for the elevator with their bodyguards. Justin practically shouted, "What are you staring at?"

JC eyes sparkled with amusement and Joey replied, "We love you no matter what, J. If you prefer Gavin Rosdale to Gwen Stefani, we'll support you."

Justin pushed them as he walked out into the hallway. I laughed, patted Joey's shoulder, and said, "Nick Carter is more his type."

Justin stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around slowly, his eyes wide and annoyed. He looked vaguely like the stereotypical maniac in B-movie thrillers right before they attack. I smiled hesitantly and Justin rushed towards me. He grabbed me from behind and threw me over his shoulder. I hollered, "Put me down." I hit him in the back but he didn't falter. I looked around, meeting JC and Joey's curious expressions while Lonnie rolled his eyes at our antics. I hit Justin again and yelled, "Where the hell are you taking me?"

"I'm locking you in a room with Chris while he does his Flashdance routine all evening!"

"But that's your special thing. Won't you get jealous?"

"Oh, you're a dead man!"

"Put me down!"

"Nope."

"Is this anyway to treat a girl?"

"You aren't a girl right now, remember?"

I pounded his back uselessly, "I've changed my mind?"

"I can't hear you."

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh that's convincing. Joey is ready to accept me and my boyfriends and you offer me a mediocre 'I'm sorry'? Someone needs to teach you a lesson."

"Suddenly you're awfully sensitive. What? Did Britney accuse you of being less than manly?"

"I'm all man, lady!" Justin countered.

I laughed, despite the blood rushing to my head, and said, "You're no Brody from Mallrats so stop trying."

"You aren't helping your situation here."

"Isn't it enough for you to know you aren't gay? And you've got to admit that it was kinda funny."

Justin swung open the door to their main room on the floor. He spun around a few times and I moaned, "I'm going to throw up all over you if you don't let me go."

"Am I interrupting something?" a voice said from the doorway.

Justin turned around so quickly that he lost his grip on me and I slipped halfway down his back. I punched him hard in the back of the knee and said, "Get off me."

Justin helped me down and I followed his line of vision. Spencer was standing in the doorway and I smiled at him. I said, "You're early."

"I wasn't sure what kind of traffic I would hit, so I left extra time to get here."

"Seems like you're always thinking, Spence," Justin replied tersely.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Spencer answered evenly.

I wasn't sure what was going on, but I didn't really like it. I nudged Justin in the side and shot him a look of warning before walking over to Spencer. I pointed back in Justin's direction and said, "He's mad at me because his bandmates are questioning his sexuality."

Spencer laughed, "Let me guess. This one here is partially responsible for that."

Justin rolled his eyes, "Partially? She is completely to blame. You gotta be careful with Laney. She's related to Satan."

I hissed on cue and Spencer said, "I'll try to remember that."

"Let me get Toddy and then we can go."

"Sure. Thanks for inviting me along, Justin," Spencer said.

I watched Justin carefully to make sure that he didn't even blink in a snippy way. He shrugged and said, "Well, Laney likes you so that's all that matters…" Justin walked over next to Spencer and myself. He extended his hand to Spencer and added, "I'm sorry about last night, man."

"No harm, no foul."

Justin shot me a look that I couldn't read and said, "Whatever. I'll go get Todd." He pointed at me and added, "And don't think you won't get yours, Laney Jane. You won't know when and you won't know where, but I'll get my revenge."

"Oh please. I'm shaking in my boots."

"You should be," Justin replied, closing the door to an adjacent room behind him.

I rolled my eyes and said, "This is what I get for befriending a guy who considers himself an entertainer."

"Sorry I interrupted earlier," Spencer said.

I shot him a baffled look, "Don't be. I'm not. God knows what that moron was going to do. Make one unflattering comment and he gets all upset."

Spencer's eyes wandered over the room and landed back on me. His grin was huge and I realized that he had perfect teeth. It was yet another trace of flawlessness that made it harder to keep my distance. He shrugged, "He seems to be dealing with the breakup pretty well."

"Ah, so you've heard."

Spencer nodded, "When Britney found out I was joining you and Justin for dinner, I endured the wrath of a scorned popstar. I'm not sure what the hell happened, but Justin hurt her pretty badly."

I immediately fell into defensive mode. It wasn't something I did very often, but I became sort of maniacal when I believed people were being unfair to those that I cared about. I stepped back from Spencer and whispered loudly, "He hurt her? I've never seen Justin this weird before…"

"Laney, I'm saying that Britney was on the verge-"

I cut him off, "Justin is really upset about this. He won't even tell me what the hell happened. Do you realize what that means? It's not good if I can't get him to talk. Instead, I got this call from him and he told me that Britney broke up with him. That's all he would say."

"Britney made it sound like there is someone else."

I scoffed, "Justin is a lot of things, but he's not a cheater."

Spencer scratched his goatee and replied, "I don't want to fight about this with you, Laney. I wasn't trying to insult Justin. I was saying that Britney isn't too happy with him right now and saying I was hanging out with the two of you set her off. She told me to be careful, whatever the hell that meant."

I felt my face flush. What the hell was I doing? I was yelling at Spencer like a mad man over some imagined injustice. I took a few calming breaths and replied, "I don't want to fight either. I'm…I'm worried about Justin. He's been acting weird for a few weeks now. He was starting to act normal last night and then Britney breaks up with him and he won't tell me about it…normally I can't get the guy to shut up about anything."

"He'll talk about it when he's ready. It sounds like wounded male pride. Trust me; I've been there. And from the looks of it, it's probably better if neither of us get involved. Who knows? Once Britney gets back from Germany they might be joint at the hip again."

"I hope so. Britney was really good for him."

Spencer hugged me and said, "I'm sure everything will work out. If not we can always try to force them back together."

"Oh that would go over well."

"Well, if it weren't for Britney, you and I might not have started to date."

I felt my muscles tense. I knew we were dating--of course that was what a reasonable human being would call it. And I was enjoying the time I spent with him, but to actually acknowledge it? That was a big step for me. I smiled weakly, "Good point. It definitely got Justin off my back."

"Hhhmmm?"

"Justin was trying to set me up with these morons. I'm talking brainless dolts."

"So I should be grateful that Justin sucks at the matchmaking game, huh?"

"I guess so," I replied. I pulled away from Spencer. I knew Justin agreed to be on his best behavior, but it wasn't fair to make a freshly uncoupled person witness any lovey-dovey actions. And honestly, it was a bit weird to be acting couple-like around Justin. The roles had always been reversed. I wasn't sure if he could be as comfortable as the third wheel as I had learned to become.

Is she starting with this third wheel shit again? Melanie Jane, I have never thought of you like that. I thought you knew that by now.

Hey Prince of Putz? (I like that much better than when a magazine wittily coined him the Prince of Pop.) Have you noticed that most of this story is set in the past tense? What I know now would have really helped back then, but it hadn't happened yet. Sometimes talking to Justin is like trying to have a conversation with an oversized dog.

Wow, Laney, if you keep this up, I might fall all over you.

And if you hadn't interrupted me, like always, I could have explained. I was just trying to point out that your third wheel comment was completely untrue.

You see, the only girlfriend of mine that Laney ever really spent any time with was Britney. For the most part, my girlfriends existed in a world outside of my friendship with Laney Jane and that was for the best. Laney would've hated most of the girls because they were the complete opposite of her. She was always so sensible and shied away from my limelight while a lot of the girls I went out with lived for the day I would take them to some big celebrity party.

To make sure it's clear, Laney Jane would never have told me she hated them. She had met Kylie and I could tell she immediately disliked her. You see, Laney Jane prides herself on being emotionally unreadable, but I always know exactly what she's thinking. When she dislikes someone, her nose scrunches up ever so slightly and her bottom lip takes a permanent home in her mouth. Well, Laney never told me to dump her or that she hated Kylie with a passion, but it was obvious and once I knew she detested one of my girlfriends, it was all downhill from there. I knew Laney was a good judge of character and from that point on I found myself noticing only the flaws. It ended the fairytale existences and I was forced to make a choice between Laney Jane and almost every one of my girlfriends.

At that point, there wasn't a choice to be made. Laney was my best friend, and despite how much she frowns on that word, it's true.

I guess I never expected Britney to make an ultimatum like that. I was blissfully unaware of any resentment she suffered from and in fairness to myself, Britney never acted like there was tension between her and Laney. Sure, Laney and Britney were completely different, but they seemed to find common ground in the fact that they both cared about me. It made for an interesting friendship and it made the breakup crap that Britney was pulling on me that much stranger.

Britney and Laney Jane were friends.

I knew I was acting like an ass all afternoon. I tried to get caught up in the movie, but I couldn't. Every time I would say something, I began to question it and dissect it for hidden meanings-like when I said "pass the popcorn" did I really mean, "you're so pretty, Laney Jane, and I want to kiss you."? Or in the scene where Ali Larter's character is staring into Devon Sawa's eyes…did I do that to Laney Jane without even noticing? So I sat in silence, wishing I could go back in time and redo the whole damn day. If only I hadn't been late for breakfast, Britney and I would have been fine.

And it didn't help that I couldn't talk about it with Laney Jane. It was too humiliating because then the Hawaii shit would come up. It wasn't like I was ashamed of thinking Laney was pretty or anything, but I knew it would weird her out. Hell, it weirded me out and I had a few weeks to let it sink in. There was no way I could tell her. I had lost Britney and I couldn't let there be distance between Laney and me, especially when things were about to get crazy in my life. I needed all the support I could get.

There was also the further knowledge that I had once again messed up another relationship. Britney was my first long-term girlfriend (almost a year) and I finally thought I had gotten it right. I wasn't dramatic like Laney said or confusing love and lust like Chris often accused me of doing. I had thought, as dumb as it sounds, that Britney was possibly my soulmate.

We had everything in common. We had the same lifestyle. I didn't have to worry about not being around all the time because she wasn't around either. There wasn't this insecure cloud about the fans that snuck into my room because she was dealing with the same thing. And she was one of the few people, aside from Laney Jane, that I could sit and watch television with. There were no expectations and no anger when I wasn't nearly as adorable as Seventeen magazine made me sound the month before.

Add to all of this Spencer O'Grady and I'm surprised I didn't throw myself in front of a bus.

I tried. I really did try. I know Laney will never believe me, but the guy was way too-I couldn't put my finger on it. He was too perfect. I mean, girls thought I was perfect and look at how badly I had upset my girlfriend. I didn't want Spencer hurting Laney. I didn't want Spencer anywhere near Laney.

After dinner, I had to watch the two of them say goodbye in the corner of the restaurant and I thought I was going to throw up all over myself. Laney Jane became this big goober whenever she was around Spencer. She got nervous, she blushed like every five seconds, and she stumbled through conversations like she had never spoken before. That wasn't the Laney Jane I knew and I didn't like this alternative version very much. It was some pea-pod imitation that giggled on command at her boyfriend's lame jokes and suddenly forgot I existed.

This had to end…but I wasn't sure what that meant. I didn't want Laney Jane lonely or depressed and the guy honestly seemed to make her happy in a freakish kind of way. (Then again, drugs made people happy too, but you didn't buy the people you loved crack vials.)

Luckily, I had three weeks of Laney Jane to myself while Spencer was overseas with Britney for her awards show. I could learn to fake approval if I was given enough time to practice. Laney Jane said I couldn't act, but what did she know?

That also gave me three weeks to think of a way to get Britney back. If Britney could see me acting chummy with Spencer, then she would come back and things could be like they were. She and I would fall back into our routine. And maybe once I had Britney back in my life, I could find a way to really tolerate Spencer. Until then it was completely unfair for Laney to expect anything different.

"Well, we have to be at the airport at five in the morning so I should head back across town. Are you guys okay getting back on your own?"

I looked at him like he was from another planet. Why was he talking to me like I was five years old? I had enough money to buy and sell the jerk off. I made my grin as big as I could and replied, "Laney lives in New York. I think she knows where we're going. She's smart like that."

Laney glanced at me before turning to Spencer, "Yeah, I'm smart like that."

I watched in horror as Spencer kissed Laney…right on the lips…right in front of me in a public place. I pretended not to notice, playing with the crumpled ten-dollar bill we left for a tip. I caught my head turning without permission and I watched Spencer's hands play with a strand of Laney's hair and I had to resist the urge to slug the guy. This liking him stuff was harder than I thought.

Spencer twisted around and extended his hand to me. We shook hands and his other hand smacked me on the back. I was pretty sure he bruised my ribs and dislocated my spine. That would make performing on Saturday Night Live a bit hard. I groaned lightly, maintaining my grin, and said, "We shouldn't keep you. I know what those transcontinental flights are like. Killer on the system."

"True. Justin, I'm glad we got the chance to hang out again. You're important to Laney and I'm hoping we can be friends."

I wanted to tell him that hell was more likely to freeze over but, for Laney's sake, I lied, "Sure. Tonight was fun-well, considering the circumstances. I hope I haven't caused any problems between you and Britney since she's your boss and shit."

Spencer shrugged, "I think she's as upset as you are about the whole thing. Hopefully you two will be able to work everything out."

"I hope so too. Take care of her for me. Brit tends not to sleep when she's upset and if she's going to be performing she needs to get some rest…" my voice trailed off when I saw this strange "how cute" expression on Laney's face. What the hell was wrong with her?

"Will do…and you take care of Laney. Don't let her stress out about midterms too badly."

"I'm not stressed."

"Uh-huh," both Spencer and I replied at the same time. I think it freaked us both out because neither of us said anything else for a few minutes. We stood there in awkward silence.

Spencer motioned out the window by our booth. He said, "It looks like it's going to rain again. The clouds are dark…people get crazy in the rain around here. It makes you worry." I bit my lip to keep from saying anything. What was Spencer, a social worker, an eyewitness news weatherman, an idiot?

Spencer kissed Laney again, churning the mozzarella cheese back up my throat, and disappeared through the glass doors that led to the street. Laney stood there for a moment with this weird expression and I commented, "You're totally gone."

Her head snapped around, her hair blinding me, and said, "What?"

"You really like him, don't you?"

"Ask me that right before he gets back."

"Why?"

"Because these next three weeks will be the first time I haven't seen him at some point for more than a few days. If I get all misty-eyed or turn into a girl that's living by her phone in anticipation of a phone call, I'll have my answer."

"You never miss me while I'm away."

Laney laughed and pushed me, "I'm better at hiding it for you…besides, I've had tons of practice with your trips."

I grinned smugly, "So you've missed me before huh?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I refuse to say anything else that will enable an even bigger ego to grow."

I nodded to the table behind ours where Todd was flirting with one of the waitresses and hollered, "Toddy, let's go."

He rolled his eyes and cleared a path for Laney and me. I took her hand to make sure she didn't get separated from us. While we had been eating, a small group of girls had formed on the curb outside the restaurant. We had seen it from our booth and I didn't like the idea of Laney getting lost in the shuffle.

A few cameras snapped as the door opened and Laney tightened her hold on my hand with some sort of Kung-Foo death grip. I pulled her closer to me and tried to shield her from the shrieks and girls grabbing at me. I pushed Laney into the van and, before I got in, I waved to the girls that had waited. I couldn't be completely rude.

I met Laney's irritated face and asked, "What?"

"Why did you wave to them?"

"Why wouldn't I wave to them?"

"Justin, you were trying to eat dinner. It's one thing for a fan to ask you for an autograph or take pictures when you're working, or maybe even at your hotel or the airport…but that is inconsiderate. I nearly leapt from the table when that girl banged on the window by our table and flashed her camera off. By waving you're encouraging them to follow you everywhere you go."

I shrugged, "It's okay, Laney Jane. It was actually nice to feel wanted after Britney had annihilated me."

Laney's face changed from anger to worry. I knew she worried about me a lot more than she would ever let on and I tried to play it off like I was okay. I didn't want her asking questions I couldn't answer. Laney and I never lied to each other about the important stuff and somehow I couldn't admit that Britney thought I was in love with Laney. It was like if I said it out loud to someone else it would be true. And it wasn't true.

Laney questioned, "How are you doing? You were a bit more talkative at dinner, which I'm eternally grateful to you for."

"Ooh. I like the sound of that. Does that mean I have someone to give me a foot massage after rehearsal tomorrow?"

Laney's face scrunched up in distaste, "You're on your own for that one, buddy. I have to draw the lines of friendship somewhere."

"I had to try," I replied smiling at Laney.

"Sure. So are you excited about Saturday Night Live? Are you going to introduce me to Jimmy Fallon? I could so marry that man."

"Wouldn't Spencer be heartbroken?"

Laney smirked, "He'd understand that certain people like Jimmy Fallon, Matt Damon, and John Cusack are beyond even the most meaningful relationships."

I shook my head-happy to know that Laney still cared about Matt Damon more than she did about Spencer-and responded, "Nice Laney Jane. Someday you'll make some guy very happy. You and all your crushes."

"Oh right. Like if Julia Roberts woke up completely delusional one morning and threw herself at you, you wouldn't act on it."

"Oh the hell I wouldn't, but we're talking about you here. Spencer doesn't seem like the type of the guy that shares well with others."

Laney shrugged, "Well since the likelihood of myself having an illicit affair with Jimmy Fallon is highly unfeasible, Spencer really doesn't have anything to worry about-not that I owe him any kind of explanation. I mean we aren't married. We aren't even going steady."

I raised my eyebrows, "Going steady? How Joanie Loves Chachi of you, Laney." She hit me in the stomach and I groaned, "What happened to the Justin-needs-a-good-friend routine? I liked that better than the domestic violence Barbie attitude."

"You make it impossible to stay concerned when you start picking on my use of vocabulary."

"I wasn't picking on it. Scott Baio was extremely cool…in 1982."

"This coming from a guy who is single-handedly attempting to bring eighties fashion back."

"I am not."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Justin."

I crossed my arms, "I'm not."

"So Jimmy Fallon…do I get to meet him?"

"There's a party after the show finishes taping. You'll be my da-" I stopped abruptly. I was not about to use the word "date" in reference to Laney, no matter how innocent it was. I would not give Britney any more ammunition. I coughed, "You should come with me."

"Okay."

"Most things require almost electric prods to get you to go, but offer the girl a chance to meet Jimmy Fallon and suddenly I'm irresistible."

"How can you not love a guy that sang the line, 'she says it's cold outside, I say it's October'? Oh, he cracks me up."

"Do you have to get back to your dorm?" I asked.

"Well, I should make an appearance before my roommate thinks I got lost in her enormous pile of crap that clutters our room."

"Can I come back with you? I promise not to spend the night this time. I just…if I go back to that hotel room, I'm going to have to deal with all the guys' questions and if Chris tries to cheer me up with any type of dance routine, I'm going to have kill him. I think people will notice if he doesn't make it to the autograph signing next week."

"And we can't have that. I mean Chris fans are insane. They'll beat you to death with bats."

"And you love me way too much to let something like that to happen," I added.

"We'll pretend that's true."

"Cool."

"Cool," Laney repeated.

I yelled up to the front where Toddy and the driver were complaining about traffic, "Todd, I'm going to Laney's dorm for awhile. So don't go back to the hotel." I blocked out Todd's incoherent mutterings and decided to press my luck with Laney. I asked, "Laney, do you have big plans for Spring Break?"

"Not really. I plan to sleep it away and recuperate from my midterms," Laney yawned and asked, "Why?"

"Do you want to stay in New York?"

"Our dorm closes up. We have to get out of there."

"We have plenty of room at the hotel."

"I don't know, J. That's not really my world. You know I hate that stuff and fans are going to be everywhere."

"I know, but-Brit isn't…she's in Germany. She won't be here for the release of the album. I don't think I'm gonna get through this without someone to lean on. All the guys have their girlfriends here and I'll be all alone."

"I'm not-" Laney paused. She groaned, "Steph and I were going to look for summer jobs during break. Roger, her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, keeps saying he'll get us jobs at Disney World. We don't want it to come to that. Could you see me working at Disney World?"

I chuckled, "Oh right. Allow the misanthrope to work with small children."

"Misanthrope? See Justin. I told you scrabble would help increase that sorry vocabulary of yours."

"I still beat you-"

"Do not bring that up! Anyway, I should be looking for a job."

"What happened to summer school?"

"I changed my mind," Laney pointed her finger in my face and quickly added, "And don't think it's because of you. It wasn't. Dana was telling me to enjoy freedom and summer fun while my parents will let me get away with it. Apparently, you hit twenty in my family and they expect you to be an adult."

"So a summer job is your plan for fun? You're such a loser."

"Some of us don't have multi-million dollar record deals and have to live off meager wages if they plan to go anywhere."

"How about a job on our tour? We could probably set something up for you."

"I don't think so…like your fans don't annoy me as it is. Besides, I've never been very fond of 'tour Justin'," she replied. She even used her fingers as little quotes like something out of an Austin Powers movie.

"Who the hell is tour Justin?" I exclaimed.

"You with that cheesy smirk that is permanently etched on your face…and you turn into this witless lout that does pelvic thrusts on demand, babbling incoherently about Busta pooping in your bunk."

I rolled my eyes and yawned for effect, "Laney Jane, it's performing. You make it sound like I have two personalities."

"Sometimes I wonder…besides, what the hell would I do? Clean up the drool from your mass of fans?"

"Maybe Spencer can get you a job and you two can travel the world smooching," I joked. The idea of it disgusted me, but I figured the best way for me to pretend that I liked the guy was to tease Laney mercilessly about him. I lifted my hand and cooed, "Oh Spencer! There is nothing like Kentucky through your eyes." My hand bent and I tried to do a ventriloquist routine, "Oh Laney, if Kentucky's beautiful, it's only because you make it that way. Kiss me now." I then kissed my hand quickly and met her sickened glare. I shrugged, "Or something like that."

"I assure you that neither Spencer or I are given to such ridiculous displays."

"Sure…Laney Jane, trust me. No guy will pass up the chance to lock lips with a pretty girl…not that you're…well, you know," I replied. I caught her staring at me intently and I momentarily got lost in the sheer darkness of her eyes. It was overwhelming and I babbled, "So what were we talking about?"

"You were trying to convince me to give up my life and make it revolve around yours. What is with this sudden neediness your exhibiting?"

I scoffed. I wasn't needy. Laney had her life and I had mine. In fact, under normal circumstances we didn't see other for a months at a time, and we were both fine with it. But something was telling me that this was different. Yes, I knew if I expressed that out loud, Laney would laugh at me and accuse me of watching too much Passions, but that's what I felt. I wanted someone with me for all the hoopla that was about to go down. I wanted someone there who cared about me (and I've always known the girl cares about me no matter what she says) and that I could bicker with when I needed to get my mind off things. I sighed, "I could just use a friend around the next two weeks. It's going to be insane and I…If you can't come, I'll manage. I just…there's all these expectations. Everyone is talking about this album and I just-what if it's not good enough? What if we're not good enough?"

"I've heard the new stuff, J, and it's great."

"Right. Since when is my little chick rocker impressed with my music?"

Laney smirked, "Well, I never said impressed…and I'm still mentally damaged by the amount I know about JC's cyber-sex life after listening to 'Digital Getdown'." Laney shuddered and added, "Aren't you going to be extremely busy? What would I do? You can't have people wondering if I'm your girlfriend-and I don't really know the other girlfriends very well."

"Come on, Laney. Please?" I reached for her hand and made my eyes as sad as I could muster on such a bad day. I went on, "You're my best friend…who else can I count on to get me through this? Next week you have classes, and I'm doing interviews and shit, but after that? The week the album comes out everything is a mess. I need you. Please say you'll stick around?"

She rolled her eyes and then nodded. I hugged her and said, "You're the best and I'll make it worth your while-like if you want to watch Matt Damon movies during every minute of my free time, we will. There's also going to be a big party after our album signing. You'll be with the hottest guy, of course, and then we have the Oscars."

I watched Laney's features twist into this horrific expression. You'd think I asked her to make out with her dad. And gross, now that image was stuck in my head. She questioned, "The Oscars?"

I smiled, "Yeah. I was planning to ask you to be my date--" There was that word again. Damn Britney for making me freak out about such an innocent thing. I quickly corrected, "Ya know, have you there for moral support and fun. You don't go back to school until after they're over right?"

Laney didn't seem to comprehend what I was saying. She blinked, "You were what?"

I turned in my seat, "Who else would I take to the biggest FILM event of the year?"

"Your girlfriend?" Laney replied.

"Well, she's not my girlfriend right now, is she? They won't even be back until the end of March."

"But you said-"

"I could never have taken Britney to something that publicized. We haven't even admitted we date and in front of a billion television viewers on the Oscar red carpet is not the place to do it. Besides, that's our thing, Laney Jane. You and I are into movies. Britney doesn't care about stuff like that."

"I know…I just…you want me to go to the Oscars?"

"Why not?"

"Why not? Why-" Laney stared at me. She shook her head, "…I wouldn't fit in at the Oscars."

"Like I do? I'm going to be singing to Clint Eastwood and Jack Nicholson. Any friendly faces I can pack into that audience would be nice," I replied.

"But J, I just…there will be all these beautiful people and cameras flashing. I don't-"

"Johnny has already figured everything out. The five us are going to walk down the red carpet together and our moms/dates/best friends will walk with the entourage. That way no one bothers any of you."

"I don't…" Laney's face was pale. I knew I was asking a lot of her, but I also knew she really would have fun.

"Come on. It's my treat. Consider it an early birthday gift."

"My birthday isn't until May, Justin."

"Yeah, well, it's not every day I can put you in the same room as Kevin Spacey."

Laney stared at me, "Kevin Spacey…that's right. He's nominated for American Beauty, which he better win! Stupid Denzel Washington. He's a good actor, but his nomination is all political and has little do with deserving the Oscar-"

I threw my hand over her mouth, "Should I tell Johnny to get an extra ticket for Los Angeles?"

"I guess."

"Does that mean you'll go?" I said, trying to control my excitement.

"I don't know. I have to talk to my parents. They might want me to come home for a few days. The last thing I need is for my mother to make me feel guilty about abandoning the family for my whole vacation, but if they're okay with it, I'll go. But don't think you've got Insta-Date for any more awards things. I hope you and Britney work things out, but if not, I'll get you the number of a few escort services for subsequent engagements."

"I can get my own dates. Thanks though…and I can work with that."

"Right."

I grinned, "I know you'll go to the Oscars. I'm not worried."

"For a guy that got his ass dumped, you're awfully self-assured."

"You didn't go there."

"I did."

"Well, I have a secret weapon, Laney Jane."

"What's that?"

"Matt Damon will be at the Oscars."

I watched her jaw drop. She tried to play it off like she wasn't already planning out her initial conversation with the man. I knew I had her. Like I said. I could always read Laney Jane like a book and she had already made up her mind to come. She had to act like she wasn't for a bit to make sure that I knew she didn't use me for my connections or fame. She also needed to reassure herself that her life didn't revolve around mine.

I knew it didn't and deep down she knew it wasn't true either…her life revolved around Matt Damon. HA! (And the girl says I'm not funny.)

The van stopped in front of Laney's dormitory. Todd opened the door and gave us both a stern look. He pointed at me, "I will be back here at midnight. No more unplanned slumber parties."

I rolled my eyes and pretended not to notice Laney's cheeks redden. I said, "Midnight is fine. Right Laney Jane?"

"Right," Laney said absently.

My eyes followed hers to where two girls were smoking by the door. They waved over to us and I noticed Laney tense up. It seemed that no matter how good of a time the two of us had, whenever people found out we were buddies, she withdrew from me. Every time we started to get over the hindrance of my celebrity persona, some girl made Laney feel like she wasn't good enough for me.

I put my arm around Laney's shoulder and said, "Ignore them okay?"

Laney nodded. She looked at me and I hated the frustration that shined in her eyes. I went on, "Laney Jane, it doesn't matter. If they start to harass you, let me know. I'll take care of it, even if it means coming to do an autograph signing on your goddamn floor. I won't let them ruin college for you."

Laney laughed, "That would be a sight to see. I'm sure Todd would love that."

"Todd loves whatever I pay him too."

"I dare you to tell him that," Laney countered, sliding her ID card through the slot and buzzing the door open. She leaned over me and, completely out of character, said to the two girls, "Hey Lauren. Aren't you going to say hi to Justin? You two are old friends."

"Huh?" I questioned glancing at the girls.

Laney turned to face me, her face practically pressed into my chest, "Lauren's hooked up with JC and you two are buddies."

"Oh really?" I turned to Lauren and said, "Wouldn't be the first time this has happened. I'm apparently losing my memory. We've met?"

"Not exactly. I was at the same club you were at a few months ago," Lauren stammered out.

Laney giggled and yanked me through the door before I could say anything else. Laney hugged me and said, "Oh, it was so worth the loss of anonymity to see that look on her face. Maybe now those stupid girls will leave me alone with their lies."

"Get that a lot?"

"Occasionally I have to listen to girls and guys talk about how they got drunk with you the previous night. I usually pretend to believe them."

"And what stopped you this time?"

"You were standing right there."

"Laney, I don't know what's gotten into you."

"Maybe Spencer is a good influence on me?" she suggested.

I wasn't sure I bought that at all. In fact, I was going to enjoy our non-Spencer time. I had only spent time with the guy for two days and already that was enough to last a lifetime. Besides, without him around, things could get back to the way they were before…before Spencer existed…hell, before I was dating Britney. When Laney and I could watch a movie and it was just a movie. When I didn't have to worry about hidden meanings in everything I said.

Over the next three weeks, I was determined to prove to Britney that Laney and I were the same as we had always been. Best friends…and nothing more.

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chapter eleven

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