Chapter 20 - "Beautiful in the Morning"
Chris pulled his eyes away from Annie to briefly check his watch. 6:07 AM
The sun was beginning to peak in through the windows, and though Chris was almost totally content simply watching her sleep, the overwhelming urge to touch her was nagging incessantly at him.
Slowly, so slowly, he rose out of the chair he was sitting in and padded across the floor, his white socks sashaying over the carpeting.
When he approached the bed, he gently rested a hand on her cheek. So smooth and so pristine.
The same demanding inner force that pulled him to her bedside propelled him to lift up the comforter she was laying under and laid down on the bed next to her. Chris gently tucked a wisp on loose copper hair behind her ear and traced his finger down her jaw line.
A sigh escaped his lips and he scooted closer to her. He breathed in her scent eagerly and let her body heat envelope him under the cover they shared.
He let his eyes drift shut and tried to drown in the content feeling being so near to Annie gave him. He wanted to always remember what it felt like to lay parallel with such a magnificent woman.
After several minutes, he felt Annie begin to shift and he heard her yawn. He could tell the moment she realized she wasn't alone on her bed. Her whole body went rigid a second before she gasped and flung herself away from Chris.
Moaning his disagreement, Chris reached over and drew Annie's struggling body to him, wrapping his arms around her waist and laying his cheek against her chest.
"Mary, Mary, it's me. It's only me."
He felt her lift her upper body to stare that the top of his head. "Chris?" Her voice was incredulous, "What are you doing here?"
"Shhh…" Chris shushed and tightened his hold around her waist.
"Aren't you supposed to be in Oralan…"
"Shh…" Chris reiterated, "I'll tell you everything, I promise. But can we be quiet for a minute? Lay and pretend everything's fine again? For a little while. I need to hold you, Mary. You're the only one that can give me the strength I need to have this conversation."
Annie remained silent and Chris used the time to squeeze his eyes shut and forget about all the things raging around him. No words were said, but both people felt the electricity crackling in the air.
After a moment, Chris felt Annie's hand run timidly over the spikes of his black hair before digging her hands into his scalp. Chris let the rapid beating of Annie's heart lull him and slow his own pounding heart.
They stayed that way for several seconds before Chris took three deep, cleansing breaths and then pulled himself up and away from Annie.
"We have to talk."
Annie nodded microscopically and sat up. They sat side by side on the edge of the bed, their hands gripping the comforter in nervousness.
Annie cleared her throat and said, "I thought you were supposed to be in Orlando?"
"I was. The rest of the guys are there right now…waiting for me."
"Why didn't you go?" Her voice was almost inaudible as she was breathless to hear his answer.
"I couldn't leave after admitting all those things on MTV and then not knowing what you had to say about them. What…what do you have to say about them?"
"I don't know. Thank you?" Annie suggested lamely.
Chris shook his head. "Not exactly the answer I was looking for."
"I'm sorry. It's kind of hard to think right now. I mean, last night I came here to find you had traveled halfway across the country, and I was stuck in this city by myself missing my mother's wedding. And then I wake up this morning to see you standing right in front of me asking me what I think of you sending me this secret declaration of love on MTV. It's a bit disorienting."
"I know, I'm sorry. I just…I couldn't think of an easier or more eloquent way to say do it. I'm not really a romantic person by nature, you bring it out in me."
"I do?" Annie asked.
"No one else in the world would inspire me to risk my career on national television. To tell you the truth, no one else deserves that risk."
"Thank you," Annie responded again. The whole situation was far too awkward, and she cursed the fact that she had to feel that way with her best friend.
"I came here to get this all out in the open, so that's what I'm going to do. Robin, me ignoring you, everything else, it was all lies. I love YOU. No one else. I've been…out of my mind these past…what?"
"I just…you've never said that to me before. You've never told me you loved me," she laughed a little, "when it wasn't in front of millions of people anyway."
"I don't know why. I should have told you over and over. I should have been telling you everyday for the past ten years. That's how long it's been," he admitted.
Annie's eyes widened, "Chris, ten years, what are you talking about?"
Chris ran his hand through his hair. "All these years we've been friends, I've had this…this URGE to protect you. To shield you from the entire world. I've always attributed it to being your best friend. The male instinct to watch over the female…or whatever. But when you had boyfriends and they would leave you or you would leave them, I constantly had this feeling in my gut. This feeling that they weren't good enough for you. No matter who it was, even JC, I didn't think they cared about you or appreciated you enough to be with you. And I think…I think that's because, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew the only person that could make you happy…was me. I want to make you happy, Mary. That's what I've spent my life trying to do. I don't want anyone else to make you smile. I want it to be me. I've ALWAYS wanted it to be me."
Annie was quiet several moments as tears stung in her eyes. "Chris, why didn't you tell me before?"
"I didn't know! It was JC that made me realize. It wasn't until I found out you were interested in him that I really started getting jealous. Maybe it was the fact that you didn't tell me. It was the one thing in your life you didn't share with me, and I wondered why. And maybe it was because it was JC. He's a nice guy. And no offense, but the other guys you've dated, they haven't been nice guys. But JC is, and I knew he'd treat you well. And that scared me. For once in all the time I knew you, I had competition for your attention. I didn't like it. And that made me realize," Chris finished quietly.
"If all that's true though, then why…why Robin? Why were you so cold to me these past few months?"
"I'm SO sorry, Mary. It was all a big misunderstanding. That day you went to Jive looking for me…I…I heard you talking to JC. I misconstrued the words you were saying to him. I thought that you were in love with him, and you had kissed me to compare me to him. I got so mad, and I was so hurt."
"Why didn't you talk to me before you jumped to conclusions?" Annie questioned sensibly.
"I was going to! Believe me, I was going to. But as I was about to walk in, I heard him call you Mary. I couldn't take it so I left."
"He called me Mary? I don't even remember that," Annie said thoughtfully, her mind desperately searching to remember the exact conversation she had had all those months ago.
"Well he did. I remember it…" he took a deep breath, "…so well. So well. He was hugging you and he called you that."
Recognition shone on Annie's face then. "That's right! But I corrected him right after."
"I didn't stay around to hear that. I ran away. Like a coward. It's just that…that's MY name for you, you know?"
Annie shook her head. "Not really. I never understood it."
"It's…having that name…a name no one else but me used…it's like it gave me a bigger part of you. Like I had something special, part of you that no one else got. And when he called you that…it felt like he took that away from me too. He had your love, your time, your attention…and he had that too. I didn't have any part of you left. That's the best way I can explain it."
"And…Robin?" Annie spit the name out like acid on her tongue, "How do you explain her?"
"I found Robin the same day I heard you talking to JC. About twenty minutes after, actually. And, sure, she was pretty, but you're beautiful. She was also self-centered, greedy and status seeking. I knew all that the moment I saw her, perched up on a bar stool at three in the afternoon in that tight red dress. That's what attracted me to her. She wasn't you. She was like…the anti-you, for you lack of a better word. And I knew she would piss you off. I was plenty pissed at you, so I was looking for something that would make you feel the same way."
"Well, for what's it worth, it worked," Annie mumbled.
Chris shook his head. "It's not worth anything. I was a bastard. I shouldn't have done that."
"And those things you said…that day. All those terrible things. What about those?" Annie and Chris both simultaneously winced at the memory.
"I was going crazy, Mary. That's my only excuse. Those past months with Robin had driven me to the brink of insanity. And then with JC going out every night. I always assumed he was going out with you. Sometimes I was right, but sometimes I was wrong. And I know I was being selfish, because you needed a friend, but I couldn't help my mind from imagining what you two were doing. It still makes my stomach turn. And then you kept denying it. Over and over again, and I thought you were playing me for a fool. I really thought you thought I was that stupid," he laughed self-deprecatingly, "Well I guess I really am, only for a completely different reason. I was feeling so hurt. And the only thing that was going through my mind at that point was that I wanted you to feel the kind of hurt that I thought you were making me feel. I knew what to say to hurt you, and I did it."
Annie looked away and Chris bowed his head in shame before dropping to his knees in front of her and placing his hands on her thighs. She turned to look at him and immediately was taken by the sorrow evident in his eyes.
"But it was a lie. Believe me. I have so much to be sorry for, but this is the worst because I purposely used something sacred between us against you. I ruined your trust. But please know I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to cheapen our friendship, and I regretted it immediately after. I knew I crossed the line. I knew it and I couldn't think of a way to say that I was sorry. Sorry seems so trite. But it's all I've got. I'm sorry for everything I've said and done these last four months, and I promise you that if you forgive me…if you think there is ever a way you can trust me again, then I will NEVER hurt you again. NEVER," his voice was strained and his eyes, which were looking directly into Annie's, were shining. "I love you, Mary."
He gently pried one of her hands off the comforter she had a white-knuckled hold on and laced her fingers through his. He brought the hand up to his lips and kissed it before placing his other hand on top of it.
"You're my best friend in the world. And I love you."
He felt her fingers tighten around his and saw a real smile grace her mouth. "I love you too, Chris."
"Oh thank God!" Chris exclaimed, expelling a breath and jumping to his feet to cup Annie's face between his hands and kiss the lips belonging to the woman that he had been dreaming about every night for the last four months.
Her hands went around his neck and he let his hands roam up and down her back.
They kissed each other with all the pent up emotion they both had been storing for not just months, but years. All the repressed feelings and anxiety and anger and pain exploded into a million stars in front of their shut eyes.
When neither could breath, they reluctantly broke apart and each took a moment to gain control of their breathing.
Between heaving breaths, Annie said, "I hate to do this right now, but what, exactly, does all this mean?"
Chris collected himself before beginning, "Well…I guess what I'm trying to ask is…will you be my girlfriend?"
Annie's eyes grew wide and she placed her hand over her heart. Finally, when she couldn't stand it anymore…she burst into laughter. "Will you be my girlfriend?" She mimicked in a deep voice and then promptly fell back on the bed, her body shaking with giggles.
"Okay, it's not like I've ever been in this situation either! This isn't scripted. I don't know what to say. I don't know the right words," he defended himself.
"You were doing pretty well up until then," Annie told him as she sat back up.
"Well see! There you go. What's one mistake?"
Annie swayed until her shoulder bumped against his. "You messed up the best part, you loser."
"Oh come on! I travel back and forth ALL day yesterday to tell you this stuff, I get here and you criticize me! You know, if this is what I have to look forward to from now on, I think I take back that stuff about loving you," he crossed his arms over his chest in defiance.
"Oh stop whining Chris, you know I hate when you do that."
He turned to her and gave her a wink. "That's why I do it."
"You don't think I know that?"
"So what now?" Chris asked.
"I think we already covered this with the 'will you be my girlfriend fiasco'," Annie answered.
"No, I mean literally. Like right now. Are you hungry?" Chris asked.
Annie shook her head slowly in amusement, "Only you Chris, only you."
Chris looked indignant. "What! Emotional release makes me hungry. I think I saw a Denny's on my way here."
"That Denny's has always been there, Chris," Annie pointed out.
"Yeah, I wanted to say that. So you wanna go?" He pestered before drooping his eyes and giving her a puppy dog look.
"Uhhh…oh FINE! I'll go to Denny's with you. Are you happy?"
He reached over to wrap his arms around her waist and smiled when she buried her head in his shoulder. "I am now. Quite happy."
He felt her smile into his neck.
"So after that, what do you think of another road trip?" Chris suggested.
"Oh God, to Orlando? I don't think I can take 16 hours in a car with you," Annie moaned.
"Gee thanks," Chris mussed, then added, "No, I meant back to Pennsylvania. For your mom's wedding."
Annie's face sprung off his shoulder and when he saw the bright smile on her mouth, his heart swelled at saying the right thing.
"Are you sure? Do you want to make that trip again?"
He shrugged. "What's one more time?"
"Do you mean it?"
"Of course I mean it! When have I ever said something I didn't mean?"
An eyebrow was raised.
"You know what I mean!" Chris cried.
She grinned, "I know."
"Okay, so get ready. I have to go to the bathroom," Chris declared before jumping off the bed and walking the familiar path to her bathroom.
When the door closed behind him, Annie sighed happily and stepped off her bed. Stretching out, she couldn't think of anything to do with all the giddy energy she felt, so she hopped up and down a few times and gave an excited shriek.
"I heard that!" Chris called from the bathroom.
Annie turned to face the door and called back, "I don't care!" And to punctuate herself made another scream, this one louder than the first.
Putting her hands on her hips, she blew a loose strand of hair out of her face before walking to the mirror. When she saw her hair and the sleep marks on her face she groaned.
Just then, she saw Chris' reflection come in behind her. He pulled her hair back so it laid along her back and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He laid his chin on her shoulder and their eyes connected through the mirror.
"What is it?"
"How can you say all those things about me when I look like this?" She moaned.
Chris reached up and kissed her cheek before returning his chin to where it was. "I think you're beautiful in the morning. Hell, I just think you're beautiful."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Tina turned to Robert and they both leaned and in for a soft kiss on the lips.
The small crowd of people clapped, Annie and Chris in the back of the crowd more than the others.
The newlyweds clasped hands and made their way back down the aisle. At the end of the rows of chairs stood Annie and Chris. Tina saw them and smiled brightly.
She and Robert stopped in front of them. No words were spoken as mother embraced daughter, both women with tears trailing down their cheeks.
"You look beautiful," Annie whispered in her mother's ear.
"So do you," Tina answered back. When they broke apart, Annie gave her mother a confused look. Tina smiled and explained, "You look more alive than you have in a long time."
Annie smiled. "I am."
Tina patted her cheek lovingly before turning her gaze to Chris. "Christopher."
"Mom."
"Give me a hug."
Chris obliged easily and hugged the woman tightly before letting go and stretching his hand out to shake Robert's.
"I'm so glad you and Annie were able to make it," Robert said.
"Oh me too, I didn't want to miss Mom getting married anymore than Annie did," Chris answered, then as an afterthought, "Congratulations."
Annie and Chris walked through the reception idly, shaking hands and greeting the people they knew.
"Hey!"
Both of them turned around to face SJ looking stunning in her gown.
"Wow! Look at you all in pastels!" Annie said, taking the skirt of her dress and poofing it out.
"I know," SJ grumbled good-naturedly, "No pictures of me tonight."
"Oh please, you know you want Justin to see you in baby blue," SJ teased.
"Not funny," SJ answered sternly.
SJ's eyes moved from Annie to Chris. Annie saw Chris gulp.
"Hey SJ," he offered a little wave.
"You, you, you…I have some words for you," SJ said, slowly advancing forward.
"SJ, now, we're in a public place."
Annie slid in between SJ and Chris. The two girls locked eyes. "Don't hurt him too much," she said before stepping back away.
"Mary!" Chris yelped as SJ continued advancing.
"Sorry, you deserve it."
When SJ was finally nose to nose with him, she grabbed his collar and pulled him so her mouth was at his ear. "You hurt her and I'll kill you."
"If I hurt her, I'll kill me," Chris responded.
Satisfied, SJ took a step back.
"I knew you guys were meant for each other, didn't I know it?"
Annie smiled, "You knew it." Chris wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head.
Snapping her fingers in an 'awww shucks' motion, SJ exclaimed, "DAMN! I should have bet you guys! I'd be a MILLIONAIRE!"