Chapter 19 - "Mass Transportation"
SJ leaned back on the couch, her fingers laced behind her head, a smug smile on her face. Her cell phone rang then and she dug in her pocket to answer it.
"Hello, an incredibly happy SJ here." She answered cheerily.
"Hello, an incredibly happy SJ's boyfriend here."
"Rico, is that you?" SJ asked seriously.
There was a pause a single second. "Funny."
"I certainly thought so…" she smiled.
"No more small talk, I'll gather from the tone of your voice that things went well," Lance prodded.
"Oh yes, that was amazing Lance! Who thought of that?"
"Chris. It was all Chris. He was desperate and he knew that could possibly be the last chance he had to tell her he loved her," Lance answered.
"That's so sweet! Why didn't you ever do anything like that for me?" SJ questioned.
"You know, I think that I went through quite enough for you. Thank you," Lance responded indignantly.
"That's true, I suppose. But would a little public admission hurt you that…"
"Steph…" Lance warned.
"I know, I was joking," SJ stated.
"So anyway, what did she say?" Lance asked.
"Not a whole lot actually. She stuttered…and then she left," SJ told him slyly.
There was a long pause. "She what?"
"She left. She's gone. Ran out of the house and off to the airport."
"Well stop her!" Lance's voice sounded frantic.
"What? Why?" SJ asked, sounding alarmed.
"Chris is on his way to Pennsylvania right now! He left after we did the MTV thing! Like right from the TV studio!"
SJ cradled the phone on her shoulder and dropped her head into her hands. "That's okay, that's okay. We have to think. Does Chris have his cell phone with him?"
"No, he said he didn't want to be bothered. No cell phone, no pager, no nothing!"
"Annie ran out of here. She barely remembered her purse. Oh God, okay, we have to think. Think, SJ, think! I've got it! Why don't you tell Annie that Chris is coming here, and when he gets here, I'll tell him to go back to New York and they can meet…"
"Oh MAN!"
"What?" SJ inquired tiredly.
"We're not IN New York anymore! We're in Orlando practicing for the tour!"
Annie ran purposefully through the airport and to the front desk.
"Hi, I need a ticket to New York please. Liaguardia…JFK, doesn't matter. Get me into that damn state."
The woman gave her a tight smile and typed quickly into her computer. After a moment, she looked up.
"You know what ma'am, we are all out of flights…"
Annie saw red. "All out of flights, you say. HOW can you be all out of flights?"
"We don't have many planes that will fly that short of a distance ma'am. I'm sorry, there are none scheduled for any time today. I could get you in for tomorrow…"
"NO! I NEED to get there tonight. Before I lose my nerve," Annie explained to the oblivious woman.
The woman smiled despite her complete ignorance to the situation, and then shrugged her shoulders.
"I'm sorry ma'am. I'm very sorry."
"Yeah, I'm sure you are," she responded before pulling her purse off the counter where she had thrown it, "Fine, fine. If I can't get there this way, I'll drive myself."
"What do you MEAN, you don't have any flights?"
"I'm sorry, sir," the man behind the counter answered absently.
"I have to get to there. I have to!" Chris exclaimed.
"Sir," the rather rude ticket agent began, "You do realize that we're almost directly next to Pennsylvania, don't you?"
"Yes, I realize that. But it'll take hours to drive there, and honestly I just don't have that kind of time!"
"Might I suggest Grand Central Station?" The man responded, only half listening to Chris.
"You want me to take the train? As in mass transportation? I haven't done that in years…"
"No time like the present," the ticket agent answered back.
"I just…" He couldn't really tell him why he was apprehensive about riding the train.
"What? Are you claustrophobic or something?"
"Yeah, yeah. I always have this nightmare that people are going to rush at me and mob me wherever I go," he said sardonically.
"Man, you should really see someone about that."
Chris rolled his eyes and clucked his tongue. "Don't I know it."
Annie pulled up at the gas station and ran inside.
"I need a map."
The clerk pointed at a rack toward the back of the store. Annie ran over to it and shuffled through the rows of maps until she found the one she was looking for.
Paying for it, she ran back into her car and opened it up over the steering wheel. Looking at it quickly, she saw the main roads and interstates she would need to take to get to her destination.
Shoving the map into the passenger seat, she turned the ignition on and sped off.
SJ slammed down the phone for the third time and Tina Benton looked over at her. Her hand was gripping Robert's worriedly.
"Still no answer?"
SJ sighed in frustration. "It's not that she's not answering. I wanted to leave a message on her machine, but I keep getting a busy signal!"
SJ tugged on one of her braids in annoyance. "What is going on??"
Chris slipped the ticket into the slot and timidly stepped on the train. He looked around at the assorted people on it. Some male, some female, some gay, some straight, some both.
He pulled his baseball hat down lower on his head and bent his chin to his chest. He pushed through the crush of people and sat down next to a relatively serene looking elderly woman.
She didn't seem to notice him. Much to Chris' relief, NO ONE seemed to notice him.
After a few minutes of riding, Chris' paranoia began to lessen, and instead his nerves started flying around in his stomach.
He had no idea what Annie was going to say when he showed up at her doorstep. She might not want to see him. Maybe SJ didn't convince her to watch the show. He quickly disregarded that thought. She watched the show.
But what if she didn't care? Or what if it wasn't enough? What if he knocked on her door and SJ told him to leave…that she didn't want to see him.
His fingers drummed against his thigh and his foot tapped to an irregular beat as all those thoughts ran through his head.
His eyes were jerked up when he felt a pull on his pants. He looked over to see a little dough-eyed, dark haired boy staring at him.
"What do you need buddy?" He asked while rubbing his eyes.
"Cole, Cole, get back over here!" A woman called from directly across the train car. Her eyes were the same dough-eyed shape.
"No, it's okay," Chris answered.
The woman relaxed a little but still kept a close eye on them.
"My name is Cole Fisher."
"Hello. I'm Chris," he said, looking down into the little boy's adorable face.
Cole leaned in conspiratorially. "I'm this many…" he held up four fingers.
"I'm this many…" Chris answered back and held up all ten fingers, closed his hands, held up ten fingers again, closed them again and held up eight more.
Cole's eyes widened and he turned to look his mother. "Mommy, did you see…"
"Yes honey, I saw. He's twenty-eight."
"Wow! Mommy's thirty-one!" The little boy exclaimed and Chris chuckled.
"Cole!" His mother hissed and he looked to her in innocence.
"Hmmm…?"
She shook her head. "Nothing, never mind."
Cole turned back to Chris and whispered again. "Why are you sad, Chris?"
"I'm not sad. I'm worried."
"What are you worried about?" The boy asked.
"I'm…" he stopped to wonder why he was divulging this information to a little boy. Aww hell. Who cares anymore? "I'm worried about my best friend."
"What about your friend?" Cole asked, still whispering as if he knew that Chris didn't want anyone else to hear.
"I made her mad, and I don't think she likes me anymore."
"Why not? What did you do?"
"I…I told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore," Chris said, simplifying it for the young man.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because I was very mad at her that day," Chris told her.
Cold nodded in understanding. "Did she steal your cookies?"
Chris smiled. "No, nothing as serious as that."
Another nod from the little boy. "Did you say you were sorry?"
"I did. A lot."
"Then how come you're still worried?"
"Because…because I said a lot of bad things that I didn't mean to say."
"Did she cry?" Cole lowered his voice even more.
"Yes, yes she did."
"Did you cry too?" He prodded.
"Yes, I did too," Chris confirmed.
Cole's head lowered sadly. "I don't like crying."
"Me either, Cole."
"When I cry 'cause I'm sick or I get hurt, my mommy…" he stopped to point back behind him at the woman watching them curiously, "…she rubs my head…" he crawled up on the seat next to Chris and demonstrated this on the top of Chris' head, "…and she sings a lullbubye so I can go to sleep."
"A lullaby?" Chris asked.
"Uh-huh," Cole said indignantly.
"I see," Chris answered.
"Maybe that's what you should do for your friend," Cole said.
"Sing her a lullaby?" Chris questioned, a smile quirked on his lips, but he squelched it because of the serious look Cole was giving him.
"Yup."
"I'll think about it. Thanks for the advice buddy."
"Welcome."
"Dammit!" SJ slammed the phone down again. "Why is the phone still BUSY?"
"Maybe it's broken or something?"
"I guess. But it had to be NOW that it decided not to work?"
Tina covered SJ's dark hand with her lighter one. "We'll keep trying, and if she doesn't answer, we'll wait until Chris gets here and tell him to go back for her. Don't worry."
But SJ could hear the weariness and sadness in Tina's voice clearly.
"Next exit, next exit. Ha! Next exit. Right here." Annie made a turn off the freeway and slowed to forty before clicking on her turning signal.
"Chris…hi. No. Chris, thanks for that message. Nooo. Chris, so Mary Tyler Moore, huh?"
She groaned while changing lanes.
"Chris…I love you THIS MUCH!" She took her hands off the steering wheel to stretch her arms out as far as they could reach. She sighed and laid her head on the wheel in frustration. The horn went off beneath her ear and she jumped back in her seat.
"Oh God, what am I going to say when I see him? I've got nothing. What would SJ say? Probably something like 'Damn you look sexy.' I just don't see that working for me."
She glanced to her sides and noticed the people in the other cars staring at her in amusement. She crossed her eyes at the men in one car before turning on the radio.
"Hey Chris, what's up man? So the album's doing pretty good, huh?"
She felt a thrill go through her when she began recognizing the streets and landmarks as they whizzed by. Only an hour and a half to go.
"So…?"
"Nothing. Her phone's not working," Lance answered.
"Why do things ALWAYS happen like that?" Justin wailed, "Why can't things ever be simple? Jesus! Our lives need to be less complicated. Cut the drama, get straight to the point.
"What do you MEAN she's not here?" Chris asked, utterly horrified, "How can she not be here?"
"She left! She went after your sorry ass," SJ said.
"I don't believe this! I don't believe this! I come here from New York, I miss rehearsals. I'm almost physically ill thinking about what she's going to say to me when she sees me. And SHE'S NOT EVEN HERE!"
A hand was placed on his shoulder and Chris jerked to see Tina Benton smiling reassuringly at him. "Come in Christopher. Sit down and relax. I'll get you something to drink."
He sighed and took off his hat to run his hands through his hair. "Yeah, all right."
He walked to the couch and plopped down tiredly. "I'm so sick of this. I want to see her again. Is that so much to ask? I want to…to see her."
Robert handed him a glass of water. "You're Robert, huh?" Chris asked tiredly before accepting the glass and giving him a nod of thanks.
"That's me."
"Well, congratulations. You've got yourself a great woman," he complimented then downed the water in one sip.
"Chris, you have to go to her. We couldn't get a hold of Annie and she's probably going to be really upset when she finds out you're not there."
Chris fell back to lay on the couch and answered, "I did go after her, remember SJ. I'm here, aren't I?"
"But you're going to go back, aren't you?" SJ pushed.
"Well hell, of course I'm going to go back."
She rang the doorbell again. And waited. Then again. And waited. Then once again.
More waiting.
Same outcome.
No one was home at the townhouse.
Her next step was to try the studio.
Her spirits were fading slowly at her first failed attempt. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach as she drove to Jive studios.
And her instincts were almost always right about things like that. That made her stomach drop even more.
When she arrived, it was almost ten in the evening, and she wasn't surprised when the place was all but deserted. She walked through the foyer and approached the secretary at the main desk who was packing up.
"Hi Helen."
The woman turned around and smiled at Annie.
"Annie! I haven't seen you here in a while. How have you been?"
Annie looked around the room, trying to locate one of the guys. "Umm…I've been all right. Hey, do you know where the guys are?"
"The guys?" Helen asked.
"Yeah, the guys. You know, Chris, Joey, JC, Justin, Lance. Collectively known as NSYNC?"
"Well they're gone."
There it was. The bile rose in her throat. "Gone? You mean like gone home for the night?"
"No hon, they went off to Orlando this afternoon to choreograph the tour. They won't be back until July."
"So…they're, they're gone? All of them? All five? Chris?"
Helen gave her an apologetic look. "'Faid so hon. As far as I know, they went and did some MTV thing and went directly to the airport. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, thanks."
Annie turned on her heel and rushed out of the studio and into her car.
She felt drained. She drove hundreds of miles only to find he had gone 2,000 further away. She had finally gotten the courage to confront him, and he wasn't there.
All she wanted to do was lay down for a long, long time.
She drove back in the familiar direction of her apartment building. When she arrived, she trudged up the stairs and unlocked her door.
She was tired. So, so very tired. Walking through the living room and to her bedroom, she saw her phone, the one she had pulled off the hook after Chris had tried to call her.
She thought for a moment about plugging it back in, but pushed the idea out of her head and decided instead to change clothes and go to bed. She would call her mother in the morning.
Peeling her shirt up and over her head, she walked to her drawers and pulled out a tank top and flannel pajama bottoms. She pulled the top over her head and dressed the rest of her body.
When she was finished with that, she simply dropped into her bed. All the pain and difficulty of the day finally sinking.
Would she fly to Orlando? She didn't have the strength. Maybe in the morning she would feel better.
But the thought of Chris saying all those things. Saying he LOVED her, and then leaving…it left a horrible taste in her mouth.
She pulled her comforter closer to her body and squeezed her eyes shut. Soon after that she fell into a tormented and tumultuous rest.
Chris soundlessly opened the door with the key that she had given him all those years ago.
He crept through the dark and silent apartment with ease. He was completely comfortable with the apartment, and his familiarity struck him as he continued to pad across it to her bedroom.
The door was opened and he tentatively took a step in. His whole body went rigid when he saw her in her bed.
The moonlight was trickling through the shades covering her windows and the glow of it seemed to set her hair on fire.
He took a step closer and for the first time, the floor creaked. He stepped back quickly.
She rustled in her bed, tossing her body from one side to the other.
A look at the clock on her nightstand told him it was almost two in the morning. It had certainly been a long drive back.
Chris gained confidence and again stepped closer. He then took another step, and another, until he was standing right at her bedside.
He gazed down at Annie's face and sighed in contentment. Bending slowly, he got down on his knees so he was eye level with her.
That's when he noticed her face. The look on it was heartbreaking. Her chin trembled, even in sleep, and all at once, her body began to twist and turn.
No words escaped her mouth, only gasps and small cries.
Chris was scared. He didn't know how to calm her down. Should he wake her up?
All of a sudden, the advice of the cute little boy…what was his name? Cole. Came back to him.
Reaching up, he began to stroke her hair softly with his fingertips. Initially, she jerked away from him, but when he didn't stop, her body began relaxing, and she turned closer to him.
Okay, now I sing. But what? Well, if I'm going to take his advice, I might as well go all the way. Lullabies. I can do that.
"Lullabies. Okay."
"Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top…"
Annie made a sound like a whimper and Chris smiled wistfully. In the time it took to do that, Annie's face scrunched up in pain.
He laid his cheek on her pillow so his lips were brushing hers.
"When the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And down will come cradle, baby and all."
He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I'm so sorry, Mary."
Moving away, he stood up. He knew he should leave. Any sane man would. Go home and return the next morning to talk. But his legs wouldn't let him leave. They wouldn't allow him to walk out the door.
Instead, he crept over to the wooden chair hidden in the dark corner of her room. Sitting down, he leaned back against the chair and sighed.
This is a stalker's dream.
But like his legs, his eyes wouldn't cooperate either, and stayed trained on Annie as she slept quietly, unaware of his scrutiny.
He slouched slightly and turned his head to the side. She looked absolutely beautiful when she slept.
Peaceful and placid. He didn't want to disturb her. So he sat. And he watched her.
He didn't sleep all night. He didn't move. He just sat.
And waited for the morning.