Chapter 15 - "Hot Air Substitute"
(January 30, 2000)
Lance sat on the couch, a magazine in his hand, but he wasn't paying any attention. He flipped the page without turning to look at it. Frustrated, he tossed it onto the coffee table and sighed.
Having more than enough of his friend's sulking, Joey bounded in from the kitchen where he had been watching Lance curiously for the last few minutes. He crashed into the Lazy Boy chair, pulled back the handle to release the foot rest on it, got comfortable and turned to the bass.
"What's your problem man?"
Lance looked at him as if he was insane. "You haven't figured it out yet?"
Joey's eyebrows furrowed, "Was there some clue in that magazine you were reading that should have tipped me off?" He bent down and grabbed the object off the table. "Now let's see…are you…worried about cramps?"
Lance shot him a tired look.
"How about getting your honey that perfect Valentine's gift?" Joey went on as he continued to peruse the articles.
"Hmm…how about…ohh Lance, are you worried because all your friends have already gotten their period and you're still waiting? Trust me man, it's a curse, not a blessing."
Lance shook his head and ran his hands over his face.
It was then that Joey realized what he was reading. "Wait. Why the HELL were you reading Teen People?"
The blonde reached over and snatched the magazine from his friend's hands. "It's not mine, okay. It's Steph's."
Joey looked at his knowingly. "So that's it, huh? Something happen with SJ?"
"Something like that."
"Are you worried about her?" Joey asked gently.
"I'm not worried about HER," he told him vaguely.
"Okay, I'm totally lost. Help me out here."
"I haven't seen Steph in almost a week …" he started when Joey interrupted.
"Missing your woman?"
Lance threw him another look. "Are you going to let me finish?"
Joey gestured for him to continue.
"Alright, I haven't seen Steph in almost a week because she's had to get back into the groove of college after winter break. But she's coming over today…" Lance trailed off to see if Joey was catching on.
Raising his eyebrows, he motioned for him to keep going. Realizing he would have to spell it out, Lance did so.
"Soo…it's been a week since she's been here. I mean, I've talked to her on the phone every night…but she's been away from us for 7 days. ALL of us…okay, I'll just say it. There have been some major changes around here lately. And it's not Steph I'm worried about…"
"It's Robin."
Joey's eyes widened as realization hit.
"Where is she Lance?" She burst through the door in anger.
Swallowing thickly, he took her into his arms. "Good to see you too."
She sighed and returned his hug tightly, "Of course I'm happy to see you," she lifted her head and pushed back, "…I want to see that…"
He was staring intently straight through and into her. Growling, she stepped closer to him. "Damn you and those eyes!"
He grinned and batted his lashes a few times in innocence.
"Don't give me that Bass. I'm gonna get you a pair of sunglasses one of these days. You never let me finish anything I'm trying to say!"
Lance slithered a hand between them and put it on his chest. "Me? I'm not saying ANYTHING."
"Oh please. You know that way you look at me," she accused.
"What way?" He asked, knowing exactly what she was talking about. He lowered his eyelids to gaze at her passionately.
Her breath caught in her throat a moment, "That…that look." Her voice was barely a whisper as she held his gaze.
He grinned evilly at her stuttering. She bit her lip to keep from embarrassing herself further and slapped his chest. "DAMN YOU!"
"I love you too," he asked sweetly and began walking forward, moving her body with his. In a matter of seconds, he had her pinned to the wall. Throwing his hands up, he captured her between them.
He smiled again when her eyes never left his. "You know," he started, running his finger down the length of a tiny braid before taking hold of it and playing with the perfectly even unbraided bits peaking out of the other side of the rubber band, "I haven't seen you in a week, I've been waiting here for you patiently to get done with the studying you just 'had' to do on a Friday night, and when you FINALLY arrive, you don't even acknowledge my existence. What kind of a thanks is that?"
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that…" she acquiesced quietly.
He shook his head slowly, not breaking the intimate connection of their eyes, "Nope you shouldn't have, but I forgive you."
With that, his hand left her hair and replaced itself on the wall by her head. Lance bent his elbows and moved closer to her until their lips finally met. Reaching up, SJ grabbed him by his sweater and pulled him closer to her.
Just as they were both losing themselves in each other, there was a loud crackling laugh that was unfamiliar to her. SJ immediately froze and Lance groaned into her mouth when he felt her stop responding to him, knowing exactly what caused her to do so.
She pushed him back slightly. "That's her, isn't it?"
Not giving him a chance to answer her, she quickly darted under his arm and headed toward the laughter.
Lance moaned and leaned his head on the wall before lightly hitting his forehead against it and following after his girlfriend.
SJ walked into the living room and saw Chris sitting on a chair with Robin possessively perched on his lap.
As soon as he saw her, Chris slightly less than gently pushed Robin off of him and jumped up. "Hi."
SJ's eyes narrowed at him. "Don't even bother."
Suddenly, Robin appeared in front of Chris. "Who are you?" She asked rather obnoxiously.
"Who am I?" SJ repeated in shock, "Who are you?"
The redhead crossed her arms in front of her. "Robin Morgan. I play Tanya on Raging Hearts," she paused to look at SJ's t-shirt and sweat pants, "Are you here to clean up or something?"
SJ's mouth gaped open in shock and she took a menacing step closer. "And what the HELL is that supposed to mean?"
Chris interrupted before either woman had a chance to speak again. "Robin, this is SJ."
"Oh, you're Lance's little girlfriend," she responded.
SJ gave her a patronizing smile, "Yeah, and you're Chris' little whore. Nice to meet you."
"EXCUSE me?" Robin sputtered.
Chris took hold of her shoulder, "SJ, come on…"
She shrugged him off before Robin pulled him away from her and against her own side. "Uh-uh Chris, you don't get a say in this."
"Why don't you go off and screw your boyfriend before you're out past curfew little girl," Robin shot back.
"You wanna take this outsi…"
Lance took that as his cue. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he picked her up and began pulling her out of the room.
"Lance! Lance! DAMN YOU! Put me down NOW! I'll take care of her! Little hussy! What kind of self respecting woman is at a bar at 3 in the afternoon, huh Tanya?" Her words became more and more distant until the door to Lance's bedroom was slammed shut.
Robin smirked, "I guess they took my advice."
Chris' eyes narrowed, "Hey, SJ is a good person, don't talk about her like that."
"Chris! She called me a whore!" She exclaimed in shock.
"You said she was the maid! Watch what you say around her, she has a sharp tongue," he warned.
"Yeah, we'll see who has the sharpest tongue…" Robin muttered more to herself than anyone.
Chris rolled his eyes, "Don't start trouble Robin. That's the way she is."
She kissed him on the lips and he responded quickly before turning away and sitting back on the couch. "Don't worry about a thing baby. I've got it all taken care of," she promised.
"I don't like her," SJ proclaimed.
Lance raised an amused eyebrow, "You don't say."
"She asked me if I was there to clean the house."
His amused look turned to anger, "She said WHAT?"
"I know, what the hell? Just because I'm not dressed like a hooker doesn't mean I can't hang out with you guys."
"Well if it's any consolation, I don't think she likes you either."
SJ gripped her heart dramatically. "So she wasn't taken by my charm and charisma? I'm crushed."
"I bet you are."
Annabel Benton looked mad. No, more than that. If someone saw her at that moment, it would be safe to say she looked livid. Picking up a pillow on the couch, she chucked it across the room before flopping down where it had been.
No sooner had she lain down did she jump back up and continue her pacing of the living room. She had excess energy to burn, or that's what she told herself. The truth was, if she stayed standing in one place long enough, she would start thinking.
And thinking was the LAST thing she wanted to do. Thinking always brought her back to Chris. Her best friend. The one who promised her not one week ago that he'd never make her cry.
Annie stopped walking and drooped her head, her hands reaching up to each grasp one side of it tightly. She took a few calming breathes before standing up straight again.
She swore to herself she wouldn't cry about this.
~*~Flashback~*~
(January 25, 2000)
Annie cried into her knees, her arms tugging her legs closer to her chest. She stayed this way until the buzzing sound of the phone off its hook broke her out of her reverie.
Standing up quickly, she smoothed out her clothes and brushed the hair out of her face. Her swollen eyes sparked with fire and she gritted her teeth.
How DARE he?
Why would he pursue her like he did, make her yearn for him, make her need him more than she ever did before…and then walk away?
What right did he have to play with her like that?
If Annie really thought about it, she would have realized that those actions were completely opposite of anything Christopher Kirkpatrick would ever do, but her mind was so clouded with anger and heart wrenching hurt that she couldn't see the inconsistency of the situation. Never had he deliberately tried to hurt her before, but she didn't see that.
All she saw was that Chris was not all that she thought he was, all her mind would tell her was that he wasn't the man she knew, the man she'd trusted, the man she'd given her heart to…no matter how much she wanted to deny it.
How DARE he do that to her?
~*~End Flashback~*~
She decided that he would NOT make her cry. Screw Chris. That was her motto. Sure, she'd been attached to his hip for the last 20 years…she'd even admit she was the teensiest bit dependent on him, but that didn't mean she didn't have a mind of her own.
She didn't do anything wrong, and whatever the hell Chris' problem was, she wasn't going to let it bother her.
After that decision, she promptly picked up the telephone and called her mother back, congratulating her and blaming her previous lack of enthusiasm and disconnection on a her 'useless piece of crap' telephone.
Her mother didn't believe her, but she also knew when not to push her daughter to talk, and instead of pressing the issue, they began discussing ideas for the wedding. It was planned for late April…only a few months away but neither her mother nor Robert wanted to wait.
But as much as Annie tried to deny it, there was never a time in the day when she didn't feel sick to her stomach at the thought of Chris with that…woman. So she decided the only way she could really move would be to stop seeing him. Period.
The sad part was, this time he didn't come after her, he let her be. That upset her more than any pestering or badgering by him ever could.
She simply went to work every day, always half expecting/hoping for him to walk into her office and say that he was sorry and that he was a jackass. She knew she would forgive him in a second. But she never admitted it.
And then she'd get a phone call from either JC or SJ, both of whom took it upon themselves to make sure Annie climbing up on any ledges any time soon. She pretended to be aggravated by the attention, but secretly she appreciated the companionship they gave her.
She had told all her fears and problems to SJ two days before when they'd stayed on the telephone all night, neither getting any sleep, both needing to get up early the next morning. SJ to go to classes, Annie to go to work.
Annie had told SJ about her need to move on and the younger woman couldn't agree with her older friend more. She also had some choice words to say about Chris, and Annie was rather afraid for him and Robin when SJ finally saw them. She seemed more upset than Annie, and that was because Annie was really upset. She was hurt. Damaged. But not mad.
JC was simply a friend. Offering her the words she wanted to hear without being biased. He was just as confused as she was, but told her Chris wasn't offering an explanation to anyone, but there was a chance SJ might beat it out of him when she finally saw him.
Annie hoped so.
(February 15, 2000)
Chris sat on the couch of the living room with Robin sitting far too close to him than he would like. Her small tank top was riding up and while on anyone else, it would have attracted him, on her it made him sick.
Her mascara was much too thick for a day in and he had a feeling he knew what was going to happen. Two weeks with this woman and he could read her like a book already. It was depressing.
"Chris, can we go out clubbing tonight?"
The sound of her voice made his blood churn and the sickeningly sweet way she gazed at him. The look was as fake as her personality. He wasn't stupid, he knew the reason why she stayed glued to his side almost every day, why she wore those skimpy clothes, why she always wanted to go out.
Robin Morgan was a struggling actress on a cheesy afternoon soap…and he was her ticket to bigger publicity. Oh no, Chris knew, but he didn't care. He really, really didn't.
SJ groaned from her seat on Lance's lap. "Girl, can't you give him a break?"
"Aren't you late for some kind of study session or something?" Robin asked sarcastically.
"Aren't you late for your teeth whitening appointment?" SJ shot back with a roll of her eyes.
Chris bit his lip to stop the smile that threatened to overtake his features. Chris had always liked SJ, even though she hated his guts at the moment. She and Robin hadn't said one civil thing to each other since they'd met and Chris doubted they were anywhere near becoming best friends.
Not like SJ and…
But he wasn't going to think about her.
"Robin, don't you want to stay in today?" Chris asked, "Maybe watch a movie? I had a long day and I have to get up early tomorrow."
"Oh Chris, come on! I can't sit in and do nothing! I have to be around people…mingling…"
"Enterprising…" SJ offered and Robin shot her a disgusted look.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"Right."
Chris sighed loudly and shook his head. "Look, I'm really tired today Robin. I want to stay in tonight if that's alright."
Robin scowled for all of half a second but everyone in the room saw it before she plastered on a smile. "Sure honey, I'm sure we could think of something else to do…"
With one final look toward SJ, she reached up and pulled Chris by his shirt lapels down to crush her lips against his.
As he always did, Chris closed his eyes and physically restrained himself from jumping away from the skin crawling sensation of their lips touching. He knew in his heart that no kiss would ever affect him in anyway ever again. All because of the mind numbing passion he felt when he was kissing…
But he wasn't going to think about her.
He let himself limply follow the pace her lips led, putting no effort into the kiss, not that she cared. He was once again disturbed by the expertise with which Robin's tongue explored his mouth. Who knew where that tongue had been before…
With a slight gag at that thought, Chris pulled away from her and stood up quickly. "I have to go to the bathroom. Why don't you pick out a movie?"
(February 22, 2000)
Chris laid in his bed, but he didn't sleep. Nothing new for him. He hadn't gotten a decent night's rest in weeks. He tossed and turned constantly. Joey was getting pissed off at him, he knew, but at least he had the decency not to mention it.
His friends weren't idiots. They knew what he felt for Annie, and they were all clueless as to why he wasn't with her. And why he was staying with Robin.
He shuddered. That woman…that woman was so easy to read…she was so transparent.
But they all stayed out of it, even though he guessed they were confused. He really didn't want to rehash the details of what had happened.
JC, thankfully, had stayed away from him for the last few weeks. The last thing he wanted to deal with was that man. He stayed civil when work was involved, but hadn't uttered a word to him outside that setting.
Every now and then he'd hear JC talking to Annie on the telephone. It made him sick. His voice was always muffled by the door to his room, but it still tore at Chris' heart to know they were speaking.
They were in love. With one another. JC…his best friend with his Mary.
The thought of the name 'Mary' brought the taste of the sweetest acid into his throat. He immediately thought of the little girl that used to throw sand in the eyes of the boys that made fun of him for being so short and for having such a high voice. The Mary who he had held and comforted on more than one occasion when she'd sought his, and only his, protection from the outside forces that were tearing her down.
And he'd been happy to do it. He always wanted to do it.
Why didn't she understand that?
Why did she have to go to someone else?
Then he thought of JC using his nickname for her in the waiting room.
Mary. Mary. Mary.
It was like a mantra over and over taunting his mind and tainting his sweet memories.
And, as if it was clockwork, the headache began like it always did. Chris squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ignore the tears that threatened to spill over, as they did every night, from the combination of the searing pain throbbing in his head and the misery of his life without his best friend.
He curled his legs up underneath him and wrapped the blankets tighter and more securely around him in his attempt to shut out the world.
The wasy he did every night.
(February 26, 2000)
SJ switched the phone from her left shoulder to her right. "I understand what you're saying Annie, but you've been ignoring him for the last month."
"SJ, I can't deal with him with that…that…" Annie cut herself off.
"…Status seeking, money grubbing, Susan Lucci wannabe…you can say it," SJ coaxed.
There was a chuckle at the other end of the phone, "Yeah, all that stuff."
"But seriously Annie, you can't avoid him forever," SJ reasoned in the motherly tone she always liked to use on people, even when they were nearly 10 years older than her.
Annie sighed, "Why not again?"
SJ rolled her eyes and popped open a can of Pepsi. "Because that wouldn't be moving on, that would be putting it in the back of your mind. It will always be there if you don't face it."
"How did you become so wise at only twenty years old?" Annie asked.
"A lot of experience with stupid people," SJ answered solemnly, "But anyway, go to the townhouse tonight around seven. I'll be there, and hell, come to think of it, Chris probably won't even show up. That slut is always pulling him to this place or that place. So just stop by and hang out with us a little while, at least it will be a step in the right direction. I haven't seen you in…I don't know how long…even though we talk every night. And don't tell him I told you this, but I think out little Prince of Pop misses you too."
Annie laughed, "I'll assume you're referring to Justin."
"You know any other pop stars? Oh wait…" SJ joked sardonically.
"Okay, maybe I'll show up. I'll be nice to see JC again anyway, he's been really helping me out too," Annie admitted.
SJ threw her hands up. "Well see then? There ya go…one more reason. So I'll see you at seven?"
"I…maybe…" Annie stammered.
"Oh don't make me bet Annie, it's so unbecoming on me."
A soft snicker. "Alright, I'll try, okay?"
"Try hard," there was a knock on SJ's dorm door, "Oh, I've gotta go, there's someone at my door. See you tonight."
She turned the phone off, tossed the object on her bed, rolled her shoulders tiredly and went to answer the door.
She absently opened it and smiled in preparation for the guest. Who was at the other side of the door, however, made her eyes bulge out and her stomach turn.
She gripped the doorknob tightly to keep from falling from the pure shock of it.
After a moment of calming herself, her surprise melted away to anger and her eyes flashed.
"Hello Keisha."
"Hi SJ."
(7:30 PM)
Annie trudged out of her car. She reached he door and hesitated. She really didn't want to knock. If only SJ didn't make so much damn sense.
Giving up, she pounded her hands loudly on the door and crossed her arms over her chest. She really didn't want to be there.
The door opened and she looked up at the looming figure of Justin Timberlake. She stepped in the house and was immediately swept off her feet into a hug.
"Hey Annie, how are you doin' girl?" He asked in concern.
"I'm fine Justin, or at least I will be when you let me down," she answered.
He put her gently on the ground and grinned. "It's good to see you again."
"You too Little Man, it's been quite a while, hasn't it?"
"Too long. Come on, let's go into the living room and re-lax."
He led her into through the house, and when they arrived at their destination, the first thing she noticed was the absence of SJ.
"Where's SJ?"
Lance answered from the couch, "She told me to apologize to you, but she couldn't come. Something...umm…something came up."
Annie suddenly felt very uncomfortable. She knew SJ wouldn't leave her on purpose, and she wasn't mad, she didn't want to be there with only Joey, Justin, Lance and JC.
"Well, I came to hang out with her…I don't know if I should…"
"No!" Joey yelled and patted the seat between him and Lance, "Stay, sit. You haven't been around us for a while either…we've missed you girlie girl. And anyway, Chris probably won't be home for hours."
Annie's mouth instantly opened to deny the fact that she was leaving due to Chris, but then she shut it. It was no use lying. But avoiding Chris wasn't the only reason she wanted to get out of there.
Sure she liked those guys, but save for JC, she never really talked to them about anything but Chris or work…and she was rarely ever around then in a purely social setting.
"Annie," Lance said, "Come site down, I don't bite. And if you're worried Joey does, then I'll switch places with you."
Annie had to laugh at that. She shook her head at their obvious attempts to make her comfortable and headed to sit between them. She sat down and her eyes locked on JC's, who had been sitting silently on the Lazy Boy chair watching the whole display.
When their eyes met, he gave her a little smile and winked. She returned the smile and rolled her eyes at Joey who was denying the biting remark by Lance.
I'm lucky JC's here.
(45 minutes later)
"I had NO idea you guys were such perverts…" Annie responded in astonishment to the story that was just told to her.
"Why does everyone look at ME when she said that?" Joey defended himself and Annie couldn't stop the hysterical laughter that once again bubbled over. Those guys were a real trip, they'd kept her in stitches from the moment they began talking.
"Anyway," Joey went on, pretending to be offended by Annie's laughter, "That time it was ALL Justin."
Justin's eyes widened in shock, "ME? It was your idea, how was that me?"
"Because you're the one that went through with it and actually grabbed that woman's…"
"Okay!" JC shouted, successfully shutting them up, "She gets it."
"Yes, thank you JC," Annie responded. Just then, she felt something soft brush her leg. She looked down in time to see Busta, Chris' dog, sit by her feet. Smiling slightly, she reached down and scooped up the little pug and put him on her lap.
The dog was completely trusting, having grown used to Annie over the years. She absently began stroking the tiny animal in her arms and looked up at the others. They were all staring back at her with looks of concern on their faces.
"What?" She asked, but she knew what their looks were for. That was Chris' dog. Enough said as far as they were concerned. Of course, they were right.
Joey was the first one to snap himself out of it. "Nothing. So once, Lance and I were at this club at like 3 in the morning, right? And…"
His words were cut off suddenly by the sound of the door opening. Annie froze in her place, absolutely certain of who it was. She felt comforting shoulder pats come from both sides by Lance and Joey. They didn't accomplish what they were supposed to. She was in no way comforted.
He walked in a moment later and his eyes instantly found her. She saw him completely stop moving in shock. His eyes turned a liquid brown, and he gave her the kind of beautiful, expressive look that he used to toss her way so easily. A look that she had taken for granted and that she had been secretly craving for the last month.
But a moment after she got a good look at him, and he of her, his eyes hardened into emotionless orbs. He continued to stare at her for a while longer before saying in a dark voice, "Could you put my dog down?"
Surprised, Annie looked down to see Busta sleeping peacefully with his head resting in the crook of her elbow. She lifted him up and placed him quickly into Joey awaiting arms.
"Sorry," she mumbled lamely, not really knowing what to say, before focusing all her attention on her fingernails.
"Why are you here?" He demanded.
"I…SJ invited," she answered, realizing how dumb that sounded.
"Does SJ live here? Come to think of it, is she even here now?"
Annie didn't answer, instead concentrated on stopping the tears forming in her eyes from spilling down her cheeks in cascades. She didn't know how to deal with Chris that way. She'd never had to before. She had no idea why he was angry.
"Chris, we all wanted her over too," JC called out suddenly, in her defense.
Rolling his eyes, Chris turned to him. "Of all the times you could have picked to start talking to me…"
"Chris, man, calm down," Joey urged softly.
"I don't WANT to calm down," he sneered.
"Well Annie didn't do anything wrong," JC said again, "Don't come in here and start yelling at her."
Chris guffawed, "Of course YOU wouldn't think she did anything wrong…"
JC's eyes narrowed, "What is THAT supposed to mean, exactly?"
Chris chose to ignore him and instead looked back and Annie who still wouldn't look up at him. "Why don't you go home Annie?"
Justin jumped in, "Alright Chris, this isn't just your house. You can't tell her to leave…"
"Shut the hell up! You're not even involved in this Justin!" Chris shouted.
"No, but I am," Annie spoke suddenly, causing everyone in the room to look at her. She raised her head to meet his gaze and said, "I don't want you to yell at Justin or JC when the person that you're really mad at is me."
Chris put his hands on his hips and cocked his head. He was secretly proud of Annie for sticking up for herself. "Is that what you want?"
"Yes," Annie replied confidently, "And I want to talk to you alone, right now." With that she jumped off the couch and grabbed his arm, dragging him into his bedroom.
The other four men watched them leave, each contemplating whether or not they should follow the two of them.
When the door closed, Annie turned to face Chris, her face wearing the same stony express as his.
"What's going on Chris?" She asked finally.
He shrugged, "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean!! Why all of a sudden are you so distant to me? You're being a jerk, and I don't know why!"
"If you don't know…"
"NO! I don't know why Chris, please enlighten me. Did I do something wrong?" She asked timidly.
"I can't believe you have to ask that question! You're so…that's amazing. That's fucking amazing," Chris cussed.
Annie was so confused; she had no idea what she did wrong. Was she too forward that day all that time back in her office? Should she have waited for him to kiss? Should she have made him stay with her instead of going to work?
God knows she had wanted to. But she didn't think he could be mad at her for that.
Suddenly, the tears that had been pooling returned and she lost all power to control them. Her reserve and her promise to herself crumbled around her as white-hot tears came two by two down her cheeks.
"Oh please," Chris grumbled, "Don't try that shit with me. You're not going to make me feel sorry for you."
Summoning her strength, Annie stood straight up and wiped the wetness from her face. "You know, I remember a time, not too long ago, when you told me that you never wanted to make me cry."
Chris' eyes squeezed shut as he remembered all that went on that day in her office. When he opened them up, his own eyes were blurred with unshed tears. "Yeah? Well that was before…"
"Before what Chris?" Annie asked angrily, "Before you stopped caring about me? Before you stopped having a heart?"
"No…" Chris responded coolly, then looked her straight in the eyes and allowed her to see the pain she had inflicted on him with his stare.
His answer was said in a deathly calm tone. "That was before you made me cry."
With that, he pushed past her and hurried out the door, leaving her sitting alone in his room.