Chapter 10 - "Pushing The Point"
Annie ran. With everything she had, she ran. She ran to the taxi and then she ran up her stairs four floors, not bothering to take the elevator. She ran down the hallway until she reached her apartment. 4B.
Removing her keys with shaky fingers, she unlocked her door and jumped inside. She slammed it closed and leaned against it, her back pressed securely to the wood as she shut her eyes.
"Mary, are you alright?"
The voice made her jump out of her skin. She gave a frightened shriek before turning on the light switch. "What the HELL are you doing here Chris?"
Chris' eyes grew wide when he saw the mixed up, whirlwind of emotion in her eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. You have to leave," she answered hastily, throwing open the door and motioning for him to go.
She didn't miss the hint of sadness on his face, but it was quickly replaced with an even deeper amount of concern.
"You're not okay," he stated, "What happened? Did JC do anything?" His eyes flashed in anger and Annie took a step back.
She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and responded, "No, no. He didn't do anything wrong. He was perfectly sweet. I just…have to relax."
He crossed his arms over his chest defiantly and shook his head. "Do we really have to play this game? I know something happened with JC."
"He…said some things that made me think. And that's what I have to do, Chris. I have to think. Without you. Now please leave. I'll see you tomorrow or something," she practically begged.
"Mary…"
"Chris! Please! You know when to push things with me, but you also have to know when to just let them go."
For a moment, he looked like he was going to argue. But finally, he bowed his head, "You're right. I'm worried about you. You know that."
Unconsciously, his hand went out to gently cup her cheek. She closed her eyes and felt herself lean into his touch, clinging to that small part of her best friend like a lifeline. She brought her own hand up and placed in on top of his.
He took a step toward her, tentative and slow. One of his fingers went under her chin and tipped her head up. Their eyes met and he took another step forward, until almost no space separated them.
"I can't stand seeing you hurt, that's all," he whispered.
She shook her head, "I'm not hurt."
"Are you sure?" His hand began stroking her cheek tenderly and she gave a shaky sigh.
"I'm sure," she replied, her voice just as soft as his.
They remained that way a few moments more before he nodded his head. Removing his hand and stepping away, he gave her a small grin. "Okay, I'm going to respect what you said then, and leave."
Her eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed at her surprised expression. He had the distinct feeling that he did something terribly wrong. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked eagerly, trying to right the mistake he made. "Say the word and I'm here, you know I'd much rather know you're really…"
"No! No Chris, leave. We'll talk later."
"I'm calling you bright and early tomorrow morning, so expect it," he said cheerily, trying to rid the room of the sudden tension.
She gave a weak grin, "Absolutely. Now go 'head and get out of here."
Without further hesitation, he turned around and walked out the door.
Annie stood silently in front of her full-length mirror. It was pitch black in her room and all she could see was the outline of the shape of her body in the reflection, but it was enough.
What has gotten into me?
Her hands racked through her messy chestnut hair and she groaned. She tried to convince herself that her body was reacting to the words, the seeds that JC had planted in her mind. She tried to rationalize why she had felt totally and utterly empty when Chris took a single step away from her.
What will happen when he gets married? What will happen when he stops waiting in the dark for me to come home? What happens when he touches another woman with all the kind and care that he touches me with?
She couldn't think about it. But the thoughts were taunting her in the back of her mind. As hard as she tried to push them away, they sprung forward and continued to swim through her head.
Have you ever thought about what it would be like to kiss him?
JC's words echoed in her head along with everything else. Truthfully, she had never really thought about it. But suddenly all the gentle caresses and brotherly kisses on the forehead came flooding back to her and she struggled to dredge up any memory of the softness of his lips. She yearned to know remember what they felt like.
And that scared the hell out of her.
Annie, I don't think you know what it's like NOT to be in love.
She tried to reason with herself. She couldn't be in love. Doesn't a person know when they're in love? Isn't it supposed to hit you like fireworks on Independence Day?
But who really knew what it was like? What if, instead of fireworks, it's a smoldering flame, going unnoticed until the first gentle kiss of its red-hot lips grazes you? Then it explodes into an uncontrollable inferno consuming your body whole.
Sinking to the ground, Annie shook her head. She shouldn't be thinking that way. Her mind was jumbled. She had walked away from JC. JC! Maybe it was the residual tension from the lawsuit that was clouding her judgment.
That had to be it.
Chris walked into the townhouse. He ignored Justin, Joey, Lance and SJ who were sitting on stools around the kitchen counter.
Joey saw him first as the door slammed. He saw the wild look in his eyes and he took a breath. "Chris, did something…"
"No, I'm going to bed," he interrupted. The only other sound heard was the banging of the bedroom door being slammed shut.
"I'll take that as a 'yes Joe, something did indeed ensue between me and the love of my life, Annabel.'" Joey mumbled under his breath.
"What do you think happened?" Justin asked, his eyes still glued to the door Chris had entered.
"Not a clue man, but it probably has to do with Annie and JC, that's my thoughts anyway," Lance piped up.
He had wanted to kiss her. God help him, more than anything at that moment, he had wanted to kiss her.
It had taken all his self-control-everything he had-to take that step back. A step back from her pear scented perfume, so sweet he could almost taste it on his tongue. Her thick, copper colored hair pulled out of its usual ponytail holder, and just begging him to run his fingers through it. The velvety hot feel of her cheek resting comfortably beneath his touch and her hand over his own.
All that mixed with the simple fact that it was HER was enough to make his head spin, his heart thunder in his chest and his pulse quicken.
And then the look on her face when he pulled away. She was shocked that strong, dependable Chris had actually backed down from anything. But if she had known what he was thinking at that moment, he was sure she would have thanked him for doing what he did.
This is crazy! I should be able to stand within 10 feet of my best friend without wanting to jump her! I can hug her…I've been doing it for the past fifteen years.
What the hell was she so upset about?
That was nagging at him more than any of his problems. What had gotten her so worked up? What did JC do to her?
"Where was he?" Lance asked, situating himself on the couch and pulling SJ onto his lap.
"Let me go you big albino lug!" SJ screeched.
Lance smirked and released him hold on her, "Fine. There. You're free. Go ahead and get off of me."
She turned her head to look at his amused half-grin and scowled, "Oh shut up." She moved closer to his body and laid her head on his shoulder.
"I didn't think so," he replied.
"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" She demanded.
"You also told me to let you go, but…" he let himself trail off.
Joey blanched dramatically and then groaned. "Can we focus here? Please? For like one second?"
"Sorry," Lance and SJ chorused at the same time.
"I don't know where he was, but he left about 45 minutes ago. I don't see what could have happened in that amount of time…unless it was something to do with Annie," Justin said, reverting the conversation back to its original topic.
"I don't know man," Joey said, "She was out with JC today, wasn't she?"
"Maybe she raved to him about how wonderful a time she had with him…" Lance said with a roll of his eyes.
"I'll kill him," SJ hissed through clenched teeth.
"No need," came a voice from behind them. Four heads turned to see JC standing by the entrance to the living room, "She didn't have a good time with me."
SJ's eyes suddenly softened, "Oh honey, what happened?"
Lance chucked mirthlessly while lightly squeezing her shoulders, "You and your mood swings."
"I said I wanted to kill him, I didn't want him to kill himself," she answered.
Lance genuinely smiled this time at her attempt to cover up the obvious compassion she felt toward his friends. She always made herself out to be tough as nails, but he knew, better than anyway, that is was an act. His smile faded when his gazed returned to JC.
"What do you mean she didn't have a good time?" Justin prodded.
"I just…uhh…laid it all out on the line for her," he answered and acknowledged his younger friends nod of approval with one of his own.
"Which means?" Joey asked, unaware of the conversation that had occurred hours before between Justin and JC.
"Basically, after she mentioned 'a really funny thing Chris did' for the 10 time in about as many minutes, I told her she was in love with him and she needed to figure it out before she losses something important," he recounted, "I'm such an ass."
SJ got off of Lance's lap to stand next to JC. "You're not an ass JC, you're a good friend. To Chris AND Annie."
"How did she react?" Lance questioned.
"She ran. Literally. Grabbed her purse," he stopped to touch his face, "kissed my cheek, and flew out of the restaurant. I'm assuming she went home. She didn't look ready to face anything at that moment. And if Chris was at her apartment waiting for her, something he has this tendency to do, then…"
"Whoops?" Joey supplied dumbly.
"Whoops," JC confirmed.
"So call her," SJ said.
"What? Why?" JC inquired.
"Call her and have her come over…so we can see what she's like with him," SJ explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"How would I get her here? Under what pretenses?" He pushed.
"No pretenses. Tell her you want to talk about what you discussed at dinner. My guess is, she'll be so jumbled emotionally that she'll want someone to talk to about it. And she certainly can't turn to Chris," SJ said.
"Alright, fine. But when she gets here, what do I do?"
"Take her for a walk…talk to her about it. But not until we see her reaction to Chris. Oh, where did I get this clever?" SJ asked proudly.
"Buttinsky's School for Girls?" Justin asked.
"Shove it Fro Boy," she bit back.
Justin stuck his tongue out at her and she did the same.
"Ignore the youngins," Lance remarked, fielding a slap on the back of the head from SJ and a dirty look from Justin, "Wouldn't she be a little…I don't know…messed up right now?"
They all saw the look of remorse that passed over SJ's face again, "Well, call her tomorrow then JC. Let her sleep on it or something."
There was a loud and frustrated groan heard from inside Chris' bedroom. "Speaking of sleeping on it…" Joey mumbled, "I'm not going to get any sleep tonight. Damn!"
Annie grumbled tiredly as she trudged up to the door of the townhouse. She really didn't want to be there. JC had called her that morning and basically forced her into going.
She denied his request again and again until he threatened to have SJ go over there and drag her over. Sadly, Annie believed he would do it too.
So there she was standing outside their house. She really didn't want to go in there. She REALLY didn't want to. She knew that Chris would be there. It scared her that she was trying to avoid her best friend, but that was indeed exactly what she was doing.
She was so confused. She'd gotten approximately a half an hour of sleep the night before and hadn't even bothered to brush her hair before she walked out the door. Just grabbed a ponytail holder and threw it up.
All her thinking and wondering last night had brought to the same conclusion. She had no conclusion. Except that JC was wrong, he had to be. Maybe she couldn't imagine him marrying and them possibly growing apart then because it was so far away.
But when it happens, she was sure she'd get used to it. It might even be better, that way she wouldn't miss him so much when he was out on tour. She'd be able to become more her own person, separate from the man she had grown so close to.
She had to keep reminding herself of that. She didn't NEED him, she just…
The door flinging open jarred her thoughts. SJ stood in front of her with a dark maroon sweater and bootleg jeans.
Before Annie could react, SJ took her in her arms and gave her a huge hug. "How are you?"
Annie groaned inwardly, apparently word had spread about the conversation she'd had with JC. She wondered how many people in that house knew along with SJ. With a start, Annie wondered if Chris himself knew too.
Her stomach began to turn until she realized that JC wouldn't do that to her. She didn't know why or how she knew that, but something inside her told her it was the truth. JC wasn't the type of person who would betray a trust like that.
"Come in, come in, it's cold," SJ ordered. Annie stepped into the house and took off her coat.
"Where's JC?" She questioned immediately, not wanting to drag this out any longer than she had to.
"Let's go in the living room. He'll be here."
"Chris?"
No answer.
"Chris?"
Justin was answered by a grunt under the pillows and sheets. It was almost three in the afternoon and he still wasn't out of bed.
"Get up! Come on!"
Another grunt.
"I want you in the living room in one minute!" The young man answered in a voice that demanded he obey.
A third grunt confirmed him and he nodded before walking out of the room.
Annie stood uncomfortably in the middle of the room. SJ was sitting between Lance and Joey. Justin walked past her and sat on the recliner.
"Hey Annie, how are you girlie?" He asked with genuine concern.
Well, there's one more person who knows.
"I'm great Justin," she said with a bright smile used to try and fool the people in the room, but it didn't work, "Is JC around? He called me."
"He's probably in his room getting ready," Joey answered.
Annie nodded tensely, "Alright. I'll wait then." She looked around the room nervously and began tapping her foot.
Chris leaned against the frame of the doorway and watched her. The way she tucked her unkempt hair behind her ears, even though there was no hair to tuck. She was worried about something.
He silently cursed Justin for making him wake up. But he also thanked him, because even with the strange behavior that they had been showing each other lately, he still wouldn't have wanted to miss a chance to see her.
His actions weren't missed by the people in the room. They watched in interest as he stared at his "friend", not making any move to alert her of his presence.
Then, they watched as he slowly pushed himself off of the doorframe and advanced toward her.
She looked so sick. Her eyes were sullen and her face lacked any kind of vibrancy. But she still looked beautiful, and he was left with an urge to comfort his best friend.
He crept silently until he was standing right beside her. "Mary, are you okay?"
She jumped when she heard his voice. Turning, she saw him standing next to her with worry etched into his features.
"I'm fine, Chris. I'm just waiting for JC."
They saw him flinch before returning his eyes to hers. "You don't look well. Did you get any sleep last night?"
"A little." Well, that's not a COMPLETE lie.
His eyebrows furrowed and he brought his hands up to cup her jaw. He leaned and whispered furiously, "What is bothering you??"
When his warm breath slid over her, she couldn't hold back the shivers that coursed through her body.
The four people watching all grinned in satisfaction.
Chris frowned, "Are you cold?"
Annie blushed at the reaction her body had and shook her head, "Not cold."
"Here," Chris easily pulled the plain gray sweatshirt he had been wearing up and over his head. He handed in to her, "Wear this."
"I'm not cold," she stated again, this time louder.
"Well wear it anyway," he insisted, thrusting the shirt into her hand.
"Uhhh…thanks." She slipped the shirt and allowed herself a moment to take in his smell that still lingered on it before regaining her equilibrium.
JC walked into the room and smiled at Annie. "You ready to go lady?"
She smile weakly, not wanting to go anywhere because she knew what was going to be brought up.
"Let me get my jacket and we'll go for a walk," he said.
"I don't know JC," Chris cut in harshly, "She seems kind of sick. I don't think you should go outside…"
"Chris! I can decide if I want to walk outside or not, alright?" She said defensively. She really didn't want to discuss what they were going to discuss with Chris anywhere near them. She was too confused about the whole thing.
Chris put his hands up in surrender, "You're right. Do whatever you want." With that, he stalked back to his room and slammed the door.
"Oh man, I should…" Annie began before being cut off by Justin.
"Don't worry, we'll see what's up with him," he grinned charmingly and gave a small wink.
"Good! Come on Annie, let's go for a walk," JC said, putting on his coat and handing Annie hers as well.
The December wind bit at their faces as they battled the wind for the right to take step after step.
"So?" He finally asked.
"So?" She mimicked.
"So you were thinking about what I told you," he stated matter of factly.
"That obvious?" She asked.
"OH yeah," he answered before grinning, "But that's good."
She ran a hand over her face, "I don't know. Is it?"
"Yes, it is. You should think about it. Try to figure out what you're going to do."
Her hands stilled on her face and she lifted her eyes slowly to meet his. "Do?"
"Yeah, are you going to tell him, or what?" JC asked.
"Tell him WHAT JC? I don't even know what the hell is going on with me right now. There would be nothing to tell," she barked in frustration.
"I understand you're confused, but I thought I explained it pretty well…"
"YOU explained what YOU think JC. It really doesn't mean that's the truth. And besides…" she started, then trailed off.
"Besides what?" He pushed.
Annie struggled for the words a moment, "Besides, even if I did decide I had…feelings for Chris, I could never tell him."
JC looked at her as if she had gone insane. "What? Of course you can."
"No JC. I can't…I couldn't ever. It would ruin everything we have, and I'm not ready for that. I won't EVER be ready for that."
He gripped her shoulders to make her face her. "But how do you know that it would ruin things? How do you know they won't be 100 times better?"
"Because that isn't how it works! One person falls, the other doesn't. Everything is awkward and the two people are constantly walking on eggshells. THAT'S how it happens, and I can't afford for that to happen to my relationship with Chris," Annie said.
"How do you know he won't love you back?" JC whispered.
"Because he wouldn't. I know it. And then where would I be? I'd be stuck. There's no way JC, NO WAY I'm letting myself be foolish in this."
"What's foolish Annie? Admitting your feelings? Needing someone? Having a relationship? What part is foolish?" He demanded.
"The part where I fall in love with my BEST FRIEND! I can't let myself do that." She cried.
"Why not?"
"Because I have this feeling. This feeling that if I let myself give in--even a little, there'll be no way I can ever stop falling," she admitted softly, "And then I'll lose my best friend."
Chris groaned when his bedroom door was opened. He sat up in his bed and watched as Joey, Justin and Lance all trooped in one after the other.
"What is it?"
"We came to talk to you," Joey said.
"About what?" He mumbled.
"About the damn bad mood you've been in lately and what it has to do with Annabel Benton," Justin said straight out.
"I don't want to…"
"And we don't care," Lance interrupted, "So sit and listen. Contribute at will."
"Here's what I think," Joey said, diving right in, "I think you're in love with Annie and JC dating her has finally made you realize it."
Chris draped an arm over his eyes, "Oh please."
"Was that denial?" Justin asked.
"Yes, it was denial Curly, so can you please leave?" Chris responded.
Justin continued, " 'Cause we've seen the way she reacts around you lately."
The hand left his eyes quickly, "Reacted?" He asked a little too eagerly and groaned when a confident grin slid over his young friends face.
"Yes, reacted."
He tried his best to look nonchalant, "Whatever. I don't care."
"Sure lover boy," Lance teased.
"Okay, so we've established the fact that you're in love with her," Joey went up, undaunted, "Now what are you going to do about it?"
"I…uhhh…" Chris suddenly felt very trapped. He looked for a way out of the conversation. However, the others were ready for that and Justin was planted firmly in front of the door, Lance was blocking the bathroom door and they even had Joey guarding the window, just in case.
"She wants JC," he finally mustered.
Justin scoffed at this, "No she doesn't. She just doesn't realize what it is she wants. You have to show her."
"Show her?" Chris repeated, completely baffled.
Justin sighed, "It's obvious we're going to have to spell this out for you…you know her, probably better than she knows herself, right?"
"I…know her pretty well," Chris answered.
Justin's eyes began twinkling with mischief and Chris' narrowed in response. "So…you know…what to do, to push her buttons."
"I can't push buttons if there aren't any to push Justin," Chris replied dejectedly.
"Chris," Lance said, averting his attention to the blonde, "You remember when you asked her if she was cold today and you gave her your sweatshirt?"
"Yeah…" he affirmed, not knowing where he was going with the line of questioning.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because she shivered. I figured she was cold," he explained.
"Well she DID shiver…but she wasn't cold," Lance said. All three men watched as Chris looked at them in confusion.
"Then why would she…ohhh…"
"Catch my drift?" Lance asked.
"I caught it, but…you think?" He questioned timidly.
"It was pretty obvious to everybody else but you man," Joey chimed in.
"Really?" He asked with interest.
"Ohhh yeah, and you obviously didn't catch the full on blush she did afterward," Justin answered slyly.
"No I…wait, I made her blush?" A grin began creeping on to his face.
"Totally," Lance confirmed.
"That's what I'm talking about Chris! She is attracted to you, maybe she doesn't realize it and maybe she isn't used to it, but she is. You have to…work with that," Justin said, trying to continue with his plan.
"But Justin, she would NEVER admit to that. Even if by some slim chance she did feel it. She'd be too afraid, I know her," Chris argued.
"Right! And that's why you have to be there….pushing her in the right direction."
"Pushing her?"
Justin sighed, "Like I said, you know how to push her buttons. What to do to get her to react. Think about it Chris! You know that better than anyone else."
"I guess…" he agreed unsurely.
Lance jumped in, "Sooo…use that to rattle her. Make her notice you. Make it impossible for her to deny."
"You gots to heat it up!" Justin exclaimed.
"In short," Joey went on, "You've got to make her want you. Make her stop seeing you as Chris the friend and more like Chris the…sexy male of her dreams."
The men groaned, "Oh Joey, that was so corny," Lance said.
"Well it's the truth!" He defended himself.
I DO know what she likes. And if Justin was right about her thinking about me like that…make her want me…would it hurt to try? If she doesn't respond…I could always just stop, right?